Is it unlawful for sibling to continually have dad pay her bills each month?

Has your father been deemed incompetent? This is the most important question. If he has not been deemed incompetent then POA is not active and he can spend his money on anything he wants, including indulging this one child.

Your profile says that your dad has alzheimers but it does not say if he has been ruled incompetent. This would be the main way to stop him from spending in this way. But for now, if hes competent then technically he could flush his money down the toilet if he show chooses (that's a little extreme but I think you understand my meaning. his money, his choice.)

Angel

It's not unlawful, but if your father ever needs to apply for Medicaid the payments made for and to your sister will probably incur a penalty that will prevent your Dad from getting the help he needs. Brother in California might pay attention if you bring that up.

Pursue Guardianship ASAP, that is the only way to cut her off.

You and bro live with dad? Do you pay rent and your portions of groceries, utilities and other household expenses? Maybe it is dad's way of leveling the playing field trying to be fair to all his children. Is he competent? If not, Cali bro has plenty of work to do getting your Dad's affairs in order. If he is, it is Dad's money to do with as he sees fit.

Not illegal but pretty creepy of your sister.

what prevents you and your brothers to talking w/your sister first and reason w/her by trying to put limits on her-sounds like she won't stop asking on her own accords. if you can't reason w/her then limit dad by auto deposit of his SS check into new acct w/POA w/brother.

We are only hearing one side of this story. Since you and your brother live with your father, do you pay rent? Do you pay your share of the utilities? Who pays for food, toiletries, etc at your father's house? Do you both have jobs? Are you retired?Your dad is correct. He is spending all of his money on his kids. But he is not asking for relief. I guess he is proud to be able to provide for you all as long as he is able.

First, are you and your brother making any contribution to living expenses? If not, you might consider getting a caregiver agreement right away, so that dad's providing you a place to live isn't considered a gift-in-kind for Medicaid purposes! Talk with your brother about this and make appt with dad's doctor and discuss the matter. He may document that dad's no longer capable of managing his finances. Don't get devious about it...that in itself IS illegal (pretending you're your dad, saying you lost his CC's and intercepting his new ones would be a FEDERAL OFFENSE!) If you get documentation of his financial incompetency, your brother with POA will be able to control his accounts and credit cards, as the POA gives him permission to do so---just make sure it's the right kind of POA, a DURABLE POA. You can't blame your sister if your dad does it willingly....she is in the habit of expecting it as your father has been willingly providing her at his own discretion. So at least do her the courtesy of letting her know about the medicaid rules and why this behavior must be stopped to give her a chance to get a job or apply for whatever other benefit she may be entitled to before she's completely cut off...say 2-4 months' notice. Better to treat her respectfully if you wish the same from her. You and your brother aren't having to pay rent, either, so it doesn't seem completely unfair...just saying. With a caregiver agreement, though, he can document where the money goes, your sister may even want to be included with scheduled times that she can take over, if it means her monetary compensation depends on it! Really, it's such a shame that Dad has debt at all with that kind of income...but if you have that agreement, he can pay you legally without penalty and at least you and your bro could be putting some money aside so you'd have something to show for all those years of taking care of him. Best of luck...but good luck comes from making good decisions even if they are sometimes hard!

First thing is sit down with your dad and have a talk. Explain that he should be able to pay his bills and not be broke all the time. Try to broach is as you want to help him see where his money is going then see if he will give you shared control of his funds so that you an pay his bills and make sure everything gets paid and he is able to buy what he needs. Then if he chooses to give money to the sibling, you can tell him what is available and that is all he has to give. Seems strange that you and your sibling are doing everything for your day and the one in Cali who is not around has POA? How did that happen?

How would you know if the brother in California is spending dad's money, as well? You need to pursue gardianship immediately or move out, get your own place, and let the chips fall where they may.