My sister is somewhat learning challenged, she married a man 20+ years ago who was $8000 in DEBT, they've since divorced in 2011.
Dad paid off this Debt at the onset of their marriage & continued to subsidize their income, including financial generosity extended to the children born to Sis & b-i-l.
After their 2011 divorce, Dad stepped-up the subsidy assistance to nearly fully supporting Sis: her $1200 mortgage payments, utility & electric bills, her timeshare, property taxes, divorce attorney fees, cell phones for her & children, car & homeowner insurance, buying new cars for her & oldest child, lasik eye surgery, etc.
Dad basically was giving to Sis/her children at the expense of him & Mom...who were in their late 80's.
For Sis/her children, I suppose it was like taking 'candy from a baby'.
I lived 1300 miles away, but Dad's family physician suspected something was wrong & contacted me 10/2012 that Mom & Dad needed my intervention.
Becoming my parents POA in 1/2013, I cut-off the cash pipeline to Sis/her children & eventually moved my parents to live nearer me in 8/2013.
Upon assuming POA for them, I've always tried to make the right decision for the right reason.
I must mention that after Sis broke into parents home 5/2013, Mom & Dad changed their will, appointing me Executor & leaving me the sole benefactor.
Sis seemingly has no conscience, refusing to acknowledge it was wrong to take from Mom & Dad at their expense...& instead accuses me of kidnapping Mom & Dad.
To downsize her lifestyle, Sis attempted to sell her home...but this wasn't to be a reality, because her home was in an upside-down loan with a lien from a major credit card in place...thus she has been renting her home & living in a rental apartment herself.
Mom & Dad both died in 2015, five months apart.
Now, I've learned Sis is having financial difficulty & needs a place to stay until 'she can get on her feet'.
Sis has been on Social Security Disability for 15+ years with some income from renting her home.
She receives no more allowance for her children from SSD, since they're over 18.
Sis & I haven't been on friendly speaking terms since I severed her cash pipeline 1/2013.
I have not communicated with Sis since Mom's funeral, nor have I told her the terms of Mom & Dad's will, as I don't really relish telling her that she's been disinherited.
In talking to Sis, often 'less is more'...due to her unreasonable reasoning.
Sis is having her pals call me now that she is in financial straits, wanting to know about Mom & Dad's estate.
If she wants to know the terms, she needs to call me, not her pals...I've told her this before, but 'NO' has never been part of her vocabulary.
If I'm not relishing discussing the will with Sis, it certainly doesn't seem ethical to divulge this personal matter to her friends.
My parents unknowingly enabled Sis, gave her a princess-lifestyle...& now she's having difficulty living with the reality of her situation.
Sis's grown children are now living with their father & not much involved with her.
Managing her budgeting from afar is not an option for me, nor do I feel that I should continue where Dad left-off & enable/subsidize her, nor share my inheritance with her--which is far less than Sis received over 20+ years.
I cannot make the same mistake as my parents & assist Sis at the expense of my family.
This ongoing drama has consumed more time, energy & repeat conversations than I care to admit...probably a wearing effect on my family as well.
It's sad that my parents lives were so troubled with a wayward daughter, but I don't feel that I owe Sis anything.
My conclusion: Sis is on her own; in spite of her learning challenges, she made her choices...from our choices: we either reap the benefit or suffer the consequences.
I realize every situation is unique, after telling my saga...has anyone ever had to deal with a 'slow learner sibling' & finances after parents have died?
If so, I would like to hear from others on dealing/handling/managing such financial situations.