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My sister is somewhat learning challenged, she married a man 20+ years ago who was $8000 in DEBT, they've since divorced in 2011.
Dad paid off this Debt at the onset of their marriage & continued to subsidize their income, including financial generosity extended to the children born to Sis & b-i-l.
After their 2011 divorce, Dad stepped-up the subsidy assistance to nearly fully supporting Sis: her $1200 mortgage payments, utility & electric bills, her timeshare, property taxes, divorce attorney fees, cell phones for her & children, car & homeowner insurance, buying new cars for her & oldest child, lasik eye surgery, etc.
Dad basically was giving to Sis/her children at the expense of him & Mom...who were in their late 80's.
For Sis/her children, I suppose it was like taking 'candy from a baby'.
I lived 1300 miles away, but Dad's family physician suspected something was wrong & contacted me 10/2012 that Mom & Dad needed my intervention.
Becoming my parents POA in 1/2013, I cut-off the cash pipeline to Sis/her children & eventually moved my parents to live nearer me in 8/2013.
Upon assuming POA for them, I've always tried to make the right decision for the right reason.
I must mention that after Sis broke into parents home 5/2013, Mom & Dad changed their will, appointing me Executor & leaving me the sole benefactor.
Sis seemingly has no conscience, refusing to acknowledge it was wrong to take from Mom & Dad at their expense...& instead accuses me of kidnapping Mom & Dad.
To downsize her lifestyle, Sis attempted to sell her home...but this wasn't to be a reality, because her home was in an upside-down loan with a lien from a major credit card in place...thus she has been renting her home & living in a rental apartment herself.
Mom & Dad both died in 2015, five months apart.
Now, I've learned Sis is having financial difficulty & needs a place to stay until 'she can get on her feet'.
Sis has been on Social Security Disability for 15+ years with some income from renting her home.
She receives no more allowance for her children from SSD, since they're over 18.
Sis & I haven't been on friendly speaking terms since I severed her cash pipeline 1/2013.
I have not communicated with Sis since Mom's funeral, nor have I told her the terms of Mom & Dad's will, as I don't really relish telling her that she's been disinherited.
In talking to Sis, often 'less is more'...due to her unreasonable reasoning.
Sis is having her pals call me now that she is in financial straits, wanting to know about Mom & Dad's estate.
If she wants to know the terms, she needs to call me, not her pals...I've told her this before, but 'NO' has never been part of her vocabulary.
If I'm not relishing discussing the will with Sis, it certainly doesn't seem ethical to divulge this personal matter to her friends.
My parents unknowingly enabled Sis, gave her a princess-lifestyle...& now she's having difficulty living with the reality of her situation.
Sis's grown children are now living with their father & not much involved with her.
Managing her budgeting from afar is not an option for me, nor do I feel that I should continue where Dad left-off & enable/subsidize her, nor share my inheritance with her--which is far less than Sis received over 20+ years.
I cannot make the same mistake as my parents & assist Sis at the expense of my family.
This ongoing drama has consumed more time, energy & repeat conversations than I care to admit...probably a wearing effect on my family as well.
It's sad that my parents lives were so troubled with a wayward daughter, but I don't feel that I owe Sis anything.
My conclusion: Sis is on her own; in spite of her learning challenges, she made her choices...from our choices: we either reap the benefit or suffer the consequences.
I realize every situation is unique, after telling my saga...has anyone ever had to deal with a 'slow learner sibling' & finances after parents have died?
If so, I would like to hear from others on dealing/handling/managing such financial situations.
Thank you.

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I have a sister who lives in a group home, born with disabilities. Let me say there is a big difference between being disabled and engaging in criminal behavior. You sister is sociopathic, manipulative and was co-dependent with your parents. You can't fix that. Her friends can't fix that. Only she can fix that. It's her choice.
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Since she is pressuring you now to know if the estate is settled, and since you readily acknowledge you plan to cut off any future contact with her I think it wouldn't hurt to send her a copy of the Will so she can see for herself that she was excluded and not continue to pester you or make accusations that you are withholding her inheritance. Of course then she will probably accuse you of undue influence (eye roll).
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My husband comes from a simular family dysfunction, with his brother and sister both ripping off many thousands of dollars from their parents over the years. Car purchases, unpaid loans, finageling outright stealing! His sister even opened 5 different credit cards, using her own Mother's information, to the tune of 68 thousand, and this put his parents (then in their 70's) into a situation where they had to sell their own home to avoid leins being attached. Once the house was sold, his Mom made deals with the CC people to pay a slightly discounted amount in full, but never prosecuted her daughter, as it would have been too stressful upon her as she was suffering from severe COPD, and couldn't bare to do it in the end. In the 12 years since his Mom has died, and his Dad has come to live with us, we have shut down the cash flow, only to protect my FIL'S monies, so that he has it should he need it in the future, but it hasn't stopped them from trying to talk him out of it! Neither of them have anything to do with their Dad, and both live in other states from us, so no help with him either. Several years ago, my BIL even suggested that my FIL give his kids their "inheritance" upfront , so that he could "enjoy" seeing his kids get ahead in life. Well my husband and I were able to "get ahead", managed to purchase a couple of homes, raise 4 great kids, and lead a full filling life, so I'm not sure why it would take receiving an Inheritance to finally get ahead in life, after all, he is in his 60's fff! Ya, that didn't fly, and my FIL has since changed his Will, so that those 2 no good siblings receive next to nothing, of whatever might be left, once their Dad leaves this world. People can be very devious and selfish if you let them! Be careful!
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I came from a very similar family. My two siblings never really grew up and never learned how to make intelligent life choices or become financially independent. My parents enabled their train wreck lives for 30 years. My sibs were not "slow" just sort of arrested development types.

They both died within two years of each other leaving me as the sole caregiver for my failing, elderly parents who live 3 states away from me. If they were still alive I can only imagine the financial drain on my parents who no longer have much executive reasoning.

I agree that your sis has already gotten more than her share of her inheritance. I can't even calculate the amount of money my sister drained from my folks in her adult life. I think you have two simple options. Either completely disassociate yourself from sis or possibly make a one time endowment. I'm thinking the former would make more sense. If my siblings were still alive I would have probably taken legal action by now to preserve my folks assets for their care.
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Maybe sis isn't such a slow learner. Maybe she just never had to utilize her God given abilities because your parents were generous enough to support her throughout her adulthood. Also, it takes at least some intelligence to manipulate other people. Are you certain she is as slow as you think she is?
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