How to handle sibling difficulties during the toughest time in my life? - AgingCare.com

How to handle sibling difficulties during the toughest time in my life?

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my mother (and my best friend) was my father's primary caregiver until she suffered an injury last month and is now in worst condition than he is, me and a sibling have been helping them over the course of 4 years....since my mother's accident, the other siblings of course suddenly have lots to say about what should and shouldn't be done regarding their care, since they found out about that my mother and me did a POA, some of them have turned their back on me (nasty accusations/threats of lawsuits, etc.) as if I'm the enemy, meanwhile I am currently pregnant (considered high risk), due next month and have not once attempted to use the POA in any manner whatsoever, one of my siblings is even mentioned in the POA but i guess that's not good enough for him, I now keep my distance from their toxic energy and to keep my own sanity for the sake of my baby but all of it seems just too much to handle on certain days, meanwhile my primary concern is my parents and my baby, who really knows about their motives, it's just so disheartening that I don't know that things could ever change for the better, they have not once asked how i'm doing not that I want their sympathy but i'm their sister and have never proven to not be trustworthy, i understand that it's their issues but the overall situation is still so painful, if anyone has any input/words of encouragement or knowledge, i'd appreciate it....

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Your mom sounds like a warm, wonderful person. She is putting you, her child, first, as any good parent would. Lose the guilt, there's no reason for it at all. Your mom will enjoy you and her grandchild, and you'll do the very best job you can, for both of them. That's all anyone can ever ask. I know you'll be a great mom, just from your post. :) And you've already proven yourself a wonderful care giver.

As for your sibs, well, they aren't worth worrying about from where I'm sitting. Blow them off. Don't allow them to hurt you. If they start with you, walk off, hang up, whatever, but don't ever listen to their drivel or allow it to ruin even one of your days. This should be a time of peace and joy for you. Let it be that way, and don't allow them even a single second to bring you stress or heartache. Like Boni said, it's not worth it. Concentrate on your mom, and on your baby. And that's that. Let the sibs stew in their own juice. **squish!**
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thanks standing alone, the siblings are grown, some older than me, I don't know how they can be my siblings.....
I know it's crazy but deep down I feel guilty that I won't be there for my mother the way I would typically be, I know she would understand and would want me to focus on my baby, she even told me that recently during one of her tough days in the hospital, there she was worried about me, I recall how much she was looking forward to this birth, I have to thank God she is still alive, it will just be different I guess since she's totally dependent (can't walk, cognitively impaired, etc.), I can handle this most days and then other days I am just simply devastated
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BoniChak, I think I love you. ha ha *squish!*
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I know it's hard, but you just have to emotionally cut them from your life. The extra stress is not worth it. Put YOU and your BABY First, Your Mom and Dad second....and everybody else be damned.
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Your sibs, who I assume are grown adults, are acting like toddlers throwing ridiculous tantrums. For them to do that to you now, especially during a high risk pregnancy, is...low down. You're doing the right thing. Keep your distance, if all they have to give you is misery and negativity. They might have something to say, but if it's nothing but crap, you surely don't have to listen. They are WAY out of line. I wish you strength and good karma.. **hugs**
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