Should you confront someone you believe is making themselves sick for attention with Munchausen's syndrome?

Rlp, I wouldn't confront her but, I would stop participating in giving her any attention when she creates a hospital stay or an illness.

My mom pulls similar stunts, has my entire life, I just ignore them. I have noticed that it has gotten less frequent because it doesn't produce the attention she desires.

You will never change her, so change how you respond to her.

I think you should ignore her. She seems to be more than capable of getting herself the medical attention she wants.

Based on your profile, she lives in a senior community, so they keep an eye on her already. You're 64 and have a life. Keep living it and don't get sucked into her drama/mental illness. You are not going to change her.

I can’t see what confronting her would do, if this is what’s happening it’s unlikely she’ll suddenly admit it and confess upon being confronted. Far more likely she’ll become defensive and
angry. Has she had a consistent doctor for a long while during this behavior? It could help to speak to the doctor. Due to HIPPA law the doctors likely cannot speak to you, but they can listen. Express your concerns to her medical team, in writing.

I think,if you do your research on this syndrome, you will find that few are cured by confrontation. If you are POA I would discuss with her MD. If you are not I would just steer clear. If you scream "wolf" often enough, eventually one will show up at the doorstep, so one of these days she will be "right". Heaven forbid that's the day you ignore her. Let her own MD and medical system handle this; in my humble opinion this is above your pay grade, perhaps also above your skills level unless you are a highly trained psychologist, and often enough even they fail. I sure wish you the best. It has to be so difficult for you to know HOW to react and to what at this point.

Ditto what others, especially Alva, wrote. This is a complicated syndrome and requires professional intervention to diagnose, address and treat.

My mom never met a surgery she didn't like.

That sounds awful, but she just LOVED being in the hospital, having a new ailment and all the accompanying 'stuff'. Probably between 25-30 fairly major surgeries over 50 years. Or more, I wasn't around for a lot of it.

Only when my DH pointed out to me that he'd never seen my mom w/o an appendage being wrapped in an ACE bandage in 20+ years, did it occur to me that she might be playing us.

She 'said' she had constant migraines and the only thing that worked was a shot from the hospital of Demerol and Phenergan. She was up to 2-3 times a week with those. If her dr couldn't get her in, she'd have someone take her to the ER.

She insisted (when you'd get to her place to pick her up) that she had been vomiting nonstop and that the pain was unbearable--but not once did I ever see anything that indicated she'd been vomiting. She'd have one of those little 'wash basins' that the hospital gives you, and it would be not just DRY, but dusty. And as soon as you showed up to take her to the hospital she was chatty and 'normal'.

Finally, after many, many years of this, the hospitals were all kind of in sync with each other and she was denied these shots by ALL the ER's.

I do have to say that once daddy died, she got 'better'. She resented all the attention and time his care required.

This isn't something that's self treated. I did some quick research and found good, basic information here:

Munchausen syndrome: Symptoms, Treatment & Definition (clevelandclinic.org)

I would use this as a guide, and find professional treatment.

You can but it's not going to change your mother's behavior. So the only thing you can do is change your reactions and interactions with your mother.

I say, let her go, and ask the hospital to call you if she's actually declining/dying. Otherwise, don't go visit her and don't answer if she calls you.
She has her own demons to fight, don't let them become yours too.
While she's in there getting attention, focus on yourself! Some of us wish our LO's would go in for a few days...

Thank you all for your replies - they are REALLY helpful. My mother won't let me anywhere near her primary doctor, but she has spent time in every ER in the city. I know she has a script for Zoloft, which leads me to believe that maybe her primary has the same suspicions. As most of you suggested, my brother completely ignores her, and has no sleepless nights. Life is so short, and I just wish she was happy. I wonder how do people like this respond when they are confronted? Do they just get sneakier?