My wife sleeps most of the day and night. Should we try to waken her for meals or feed her only when she's more alert?

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If we try to keep her awake during meals she starts shaking and even going back to sleep. She scowls when we tell her time to eat and even when we get her to eat, even a small amount, she wants to go back to bed. She has apnea and uses a c-pap machine during nighttime hours. She apparently sleeps well through the night. She takes medicine for diabetes so we try to keep her on a regular schedule to avoid complications with her blood sugar level.

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Glucerna is a nutritious drink for diabetics.
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If this is a recent change in your wife, I would first notify your wifes primary care physician and have her come out to your house to see her and from there, the doctor will advise whether she is ready for hospice care at this time.
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With diabetes, one needs to keep their insulin level and that requires regular eating. She cannot be sleeping that much. What has her doctor recommended? Either she has a clinical depression or something else going on to cause her to sleep so much. You do not mention any dementia so I can only go by what you have mentioned. Tell her doctor her habits ASAP, as lying on one's back for that long will damage the kidneys. Good luck!
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All excellent answers. unless your loved one is in their final weeks or is diabetic continue to encourage and if they won't eat solids try nutritional drinks like ensure, Boost, carnation instant breakfast and even store brands if they contain the same nutrients. Discuss with the Dr if diabetic meds need to be continued. depends on blood sugar readings of course. Hospice is a fine rescourse so at least have them come and make an assessment even if you are not quite ready.
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I too would call hospice. I am not telling you to give up but hospice could give you a better picture of where your mom is at. I felt my mom ate just to make me happy in her final days. Feeding someone whose body is shutting down could be uncomfortable for them. Hospice nurses will be better able to assess urine output, pulsox and blood pressure. It is scary when do this alone, take the help, they are wonderful people.
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Rayjay does your wife have a hospital bed? If you do, just sit her up and feed her and give her something to drink. Keep her sitting up for at least a half an hour after she finishes her meal and open her mouth to make sure that she has swallowed everything before you put the bed back down. If you don't, she may aspirate and that alone can turn into a huge problem for her.
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In my situation, my Mom does very well normally so to ensure her feelings of being included in everything I do, I make sure she's awake when it's time to eat. Her appetite is as great as ever and she's very alert. Just don't eat without including Mom or she will show her fangs! LOL! I always ensure in everything I do, that I include Mom! If she dont feel up to doing something she'll let me know! This mother of mine is the mother of nine biological children, with a set of twins and triplets on top of us that didn't make it because she worked too hard out on the farm! She tells me everyday that she wants me at her side until the very end-all I will be. I could never let her down in any way! She and dad have always been my world, my best friends, and we are the 3 amigos! (Plus their dog)!
So all situations may be a little different, but especially if your dad's diabetic you need to wake him for food and meds. You must keep his blood sugars in check.
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I would call hospice.
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Look into Hospice it sounds like you may be ready and the Hospice staff can advise you on care, eating and medication administration.
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I wouldn't insist on her sitting up at the table to have her meals. Socialisation when she's in the mood is good, but if she's not up to eating with the family would it be possible to serve her regular, small meals in bed?
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