Should we put my dad's dog down or keep him alive for my dad?

This is so sad. I agree to have a vet do an evaluation. Poor little pooch. You don’t want him to suffer.

It’s so sad for your dad. I would not get him another dog though. Animals are a big responsibility. Unless you want a dog and take the dog to visit. There are organizations that have visiting pets too. Does he have that option to participate in one of those programs?

Here they have several people who bring animals to visit with the elderly and some children in hospitals too. The only exception is people with allergies or if they aren’t comfortable around animals.

Due to his dementia, he likely has no insight into the welfare of the dog. My LO was totally devoted to her cat. She loved the cat more than life. She freaked out if the cat was out of her sight for even a few seconds. Of course, this caused the cat a great deal of anxiety. When she had to go into AL, she left the cat in my care and after a few days, she forgot about the cat. Even if I showed her a picture of the cat, she would not remember it was her beloved cat. I was shocked that she forgot about the love of her life that quickly, but, have since read about many other people with dementia who do this. So, I'd discuss it with the vet and if the dog is suffering have him put down. If your dad is past the point of realizing the dog is suffering, then he probably won't be able to process the death. I'd likely come up with a story that would appease him until he forgets. And NOT get another pet.

When my mother-in-law moved in with us, she brought her dog with her. It was very soon apparent that she was unable to care for him. We agonized over the decision, but eventually decided to give him to our local no-kill shelter. I followed up with the shelter and found that they had successfully re-homed him. He was actually rather ill when we dropped him off. The shelter said the vet took a look at him and was able to treat him for all his ailments. He was much happier afterwards, and was re-homed quickly. He is much happier now and after a few weeks, my mother-in-law doesn't even remember that she ever had a dog. Those first few weeks were really hard, but lots of love and a little patience got us through it. Do what you think is best for everyone, the dog included. If you can't care for him anymore, taking him to a humane shelter seems a better option than euthanizing him. Plus, it's probably much cheaper. Good luck!

The dementia your dad has might not let him remember the dog for long. My mom loved her dog too and it seemed she lived for the dog, but forgot her within a week after I took her to be put down. The poor dog couldn't walk or control her bladder. The care giver and I felt we were caring for the dog, not my mom. We took her for walks in a wagon. We cleaned the messes in the house daily. We carried her outside 5 times a day and gave her pills. I loved that dog and still cry about what I had to do.

So sad. I do not envy you having to make this decision. I like the suggestion to get another dog Dad can get used to. Like getting a Senior dog. I agree, let the Vet evaluate the dog.

This depends on how far Dad is into his Dementia. Get a stuffed dog that looks like the one he has. Its like giving a doll to a woman suffering from Dementia. She thinks its real. My daughter had a stuffed cat that people thought was real till they went to pet it.

For the constipation, get some canned pumpkin and feed it mixed with the regular food, depending on the size of the dog a quarter cup (we fed 2 tablespoons each feeding to my dads 6.5# chihuahua) with a little warm water should get everything regulated. My dads little dog had that problem and she ate pumpkin in her food for the last 2 years of her life. I believe that she got an additional 2 years because of being able to naturally deal with the issue. She was also a happier dog getting her food served warm and soft and full of fiber that kept her feeling full longer.

I firmly believe that we can see if a dog is suffering and that we are responsible to help them not suffer. Could the vet help you understand if the dog is suffering and if there is any medication that could help relieve the suffering without putting the dog down? That would be my 1st step, because your dad is so emotionally attached to this critter. I would exhaust every resource before I euthanized his beloved pet.

All of the issues that you shared are a burden to care for, but nothing that tells me the dog needs to be put down. It doesn't sound like it is suffering.

I have personally never seen or heard of a dog dying in someone's arms unless it is administered death. The dog will likely find a quite, dark place and go to sleep. Could your dad understand the death easier seeing the body and knowing that it just went to sleep? I thoroughly believed that my dad and his beloved best friend would be buried in the same hole. He has recovered and he has adopted 2 middle aged dogs and got a new puppy. Oy vey! But they have given him new life and they are all thriving together.

Unfortunatly dogs have short life spans and we know that we will be dealing with the loss at some point. Finding ways to comfort his heart will be the biggest challenge. Adopting a middle aged dog that is cuddly would be my solution, because they are such faithful companions I think everyone should have one. Even our aged parents, as long as they don't mistreat them.

Ask the vet if the dog should be euthanized. I had a little rescue dog who was blind and deaf and not very good at going out to potty but still very happy. He became ill after some time and then it was his time. But before that, the vet and I agreed he still had quality of life. If dog does need to be euthanized, you may decide after a time to get him another dog. If so, please consider a senior dog and get one that you will want to take care of after your dad passes.

If the dog isn't in pain, you might talk to the Vet about the incontinence issue. One of our older dogs needed a hormone shot ever so often. That stopped the incontinence. Then, it could just be old age.

I do not envy you on this part of the "long goodbye". ((Hugs))

I suggest trying this approach to lighten the pain of impending death of a beloved dog. A true therapy dog is needed here, because Dad cannot tolerate being without the dog for even a few hours.

Get another dog,not too old.1) It will keep the old dog company, perk it up so it may heal a bit.
2) Dad will get used to the new dog, and when the old dog passes, he will be comforted. And maybe forget that he had another dog. You can name them the same name. Same breed and color even.

I'm in the minority here - the dog is suffering and can be put down. No, putting down a dog is not the same as euthanizing a human. It is compassionate to put down an animal who is in such bad shape and whose owner is also regressing. The dog won't always be treated well and is not in good enough shape to get away if the patient starts hurting it.

Yes, dad will ask where the dog is, but you can give him a therapeutic fib. "The dog went hunting with one of the grandsons, the dog is at the groomer, the dog's at the vet getting an operation done." Any of them work to placate Dad.

Have the current dog evaluated by a vet to determine if there IS pain and suffering. I'm guessing the dog is probably arthritic too, which is usually a cause for pain and suffering far more than being blind and deaf. If so, please consider putting it down (and I am a HUGE dog lover saying this to you).

Do NOT get another dog for your dad when this current one is gone.

I have to ask is the dog actually “suffering”? I realize it’s blind and deaf, but a dog that has lived in a house for 12 years probably knows it’s way around pretty well. What does the vet say? Is it in pain? That would be the deciding factor for me. If it seems to be pretty happy and comfortable and still has a pretty good life hanging out with your Dad, I would continue on. In fact there may be a hospice vet that your regular vet could recommend. A hospice vet comes to the house, provides palliative care, and works with the family to help make care decisions and then can perform the euthanasia at the house. We just used the services of a hospice vet to help us with our beloved dog. Don’t underestimate the grief your Dad will have. Only you will know the best way to help him through this. Hugs.

The pup is not necessarily suffering. If they bring comfort and joy to each other, enough said. Leave it alone and don't generate a problem where there is none. You've got care coming in. Lots of pups wear diapers. Ask the vet about a dietary change if appropriate if you believe there is constipation. Is the pup up to any walks, even short ones? That might help.
All I can say is if you took my pup away from me and for the purpose you mention, it would be the death of me. This is said not to engender guilt, just a fact. For many their pets are the true source of love and connection when there are no others.

You need to have your vet or one he recommends come to your house and speak with your Dad about the suffering of this dog, and the wrongness of letting it go on. You need to let your Dad be present for its passing if he is able and it should be done in the home. It is a very peaceful process. You need to know that your Dad will mourn. I have a houseful of pictures. You need to know that the mourning will stop. Perhaps work with a rescue to do inhome fostering for placement. It's what we do in our late 70s so we have an animal around and then place in good home. Or actually adopt an animal again for Dad to cuddle. So sorry, but this isn't really fair to dog if he is suffering. If he is not, then this problem will take care of itself and Dad will, yes, wail and mourn. Is this beloved creature not WORTH that? When Dad asks about his dog, help him make an album of him to keep, look at, talk about. As I said, my beloved animals are all over my house. I think of them every day.

As a dog owner, I say ditto to mercy on the dog. Yes, your dad will ask about the dog often and grieve and re-grieve and re-grieve. But even if you kept the dog alive for another 2 years, the dog would eventually pass and you'd be at this juncture no matter what. And the dog would have suffered. For what? Your dad will still pine for him and grieve and re-grieve. Someone's gonna suffer no matter what decision is made. But I vote for helping the dog. If your dad didn't have dementia, what decision do you think he would make in this scenario? Wishing you peace in your heart over this decision.

Hello swicklund75,
Oh, your position is unenviable.
While the dog has physical issues, is he actually "suffering"? Does the dog have a reasonable quality of life?
From what you've described, it sounds like the dear creature is old and infirm, but has a few more miles to go, not unlike your poor old dad.
I'm in favor of keeping the two together as long as is humanely possible.
I wish you well,
R27

Anyone who “knows me” here on AC, knows that I love dogs. I absolutely adore them - wish that more people had more traits similar to those of dogs... the loyalty, the unconditional love, the selflessness, etc.

If more folks were more like dogs - this world would be a better place.

So, it takes a lot for me to agree that
a dog should be euthanized.

If this poor dog is as bad off as you say - it’s time to let him go. He’s done his work here in loving your father and being his faithful companion for 12 years.

If your father were not suffering from dementia - would he want his best friend to be suffering such as this? I’d hope not.

It’s time to do the selfless thing. Yes. It will probably be hard on your father. No doubt about it. But still - allowing this poor creature to continue to suffer is inhuman. Regardless of how it will effect your father - it’s wrong to expect more from an animal in its condition. Let him go - he’s done enough.

Its time for you to be more like a dog.

I'm feeling for the poor dog.

I can stand to see a human 'suffer' as it were, but not an animal. I had to put down my beloved Border Collie and it was the single worst thing I've had to do.

Is dad in Hospice Care? Could there be a new rescue dog brought onto the scene. Is it THIS dog or the joy of something to hold and cuddle that dad loves?

Dad may need some tranquilizers to help him over the passing of his pet, that is going to happen, no matter what you do.

Maybe bring in the 'new pup' (NOT a puppy, but a dog the same breed and temperament) first and get him acquainted. It would be FAR worse for this beloved pet to die in his arms, IMHO.