My dad is 92, has dementia but lives at home with a daytime caregiver. He has a dog, 12 yrs old, blind, deaf and is diabetic. He requires 2 shots a day which we pay someone to cover over and administer the shots. The dog wears a dog diaper and also is now constipated. I know, I know, the dog should be put down but it is my dad's joy and reason for living. All he does is love on him. Dad's at the point where he doesn't care if the house smells or he smells. He sobs and sobs (actually wails) when the dog is gone for a couple of hours when he's at the vet. I'm afraid dad will go downhill when the dog is gone but I don't want the dog to suffer anymore. Will dad ask everyday where the dog is and then cry all over again. Its just so awful and sad.
I had to euthanize our dog this summer. My 94 y.o. mom doesn't even remember her.
Discuss with your vet the dogs quality of life and pain he may be in.
If the vet feels the dog can continue on my input would be-
who is cleaning up after the dog? Is it the daytime caregiver- discuss all that needs to be done. If more help is needed then hire someone to specifically help out and clean up after the dog.
If it’s time to let go-
Your dad may understand if his dog needs to cross over.
If he’s had other pets you can remind him of his others animals that have left. They will all be together and running free.
He may remember and maybe not.
If it’s time-
He may bring it up every hour, ask where’s his dog Is and cry.
As a nurse I have taken care of clients who have lost loved animals. They can go months without asking or ask all day.
This is where white lies are ok.
please don’t say remember we put him down- that can anger them and upset them more.
Ive said they have passed and the remains are on the mantel. If they continue and the above isn’t working- Ive said they are outside, other room sleeping etc.
If getting another dog will help-
possibly say your friends dog can’t go when they move-would he like to help and have the dog live with him?
Best of luck
Does anyone close to your dad have a dog? I'm not suggesting any other dog can replace THIS dog (when you lose a dog, you don't want another dog, you want him) but pet therapy of some sort might help.
“ natural death “ . He insisted on staying with her which I know now was a good thing as he said goodbye ( I didn’t at the time and wanted him to remain with my daughter while I stayed but I was wrong ) I will say it was a very rough time . I will also say I should have done it sooner and not have listened to the Drs . I also have to say my husband was still aware to a certain extent of what was going on even tho I had to explain after how ill she was over and over and over . I gave him a project of pasting her photos all over our bedroom wall and every night he holds Elsa and shows her all the photos . That seems to give him great comfort even tho it’s a bit maudlin .
Sorry I’ve gone on and on . I think that I’ve been so concerned about his loss and ignored mine that writing this has really comforted me.
She was a wonderful devoted dog who brought both of us great joy.
Thank you all for this opportunity!
If you say the dog is your father's reason for living, why are you contemplating euthanizing the dog? You know the answer to your own question. Yes, your father will go downhill and will cry and ask about the dog. So leave well enough alone and let the both of them enjoy the time they have left together. I am sure the dog loves you father as well.
The dog is a living being, not simply an object that exists for the sole purpose of service to humans. It deserves kindness and compassion.
Reactions like this one are why I'm not a fan of terms like "putting down" to describe euthanasia. I'm in no way criticizing the OP, just pointing out the way words carry different tones and baggage.
I've had to euthanize horses, cats, and dogs throughout my life. It's an incredibly difficult decision to make and to carry out (as evidenced by to OP's pained indecision). But if we prioritize the animal's well being in our hearts and minds, we often know when further medical intervention is just prolonging the cruelty of pain only to satisfy our own wishes to not let go.
My heart goes out to everyone involved there. This is such a hard situation.
Second, most High Schools, both public and private require Community Service Hours for graduation. Call the school counselor for every school and try to get a group of volunteers to help with walks.
3) He will notice a substitute dog!
4) If the dog is quivering in pain, that can't be controlled with meds, or won't consume fluids for say 48 hours, or food for 3-4 days...then you can give subcutaneous fluids at home for up to 2 weeks, would be my advice.
Beyond that, pay to have a Vet come to your place. Your father might be able to relax the dog while they treat the pain... sedation before putting it down. Some dogs will freak out a little..chasing dragons as my Vet put it..for about 3-4 minutes. Then they will want to curl up by, or rest their head on their owner.
The next step is totally painless. If you think it helps, & Vet agrees, tell them this is a treatment that could help the dog, but doesn't always work. He can comfort the animal. After the heart stops, there will be one last movement..a death breath/gasp...a large dog might groan, mine just moved a bit and air came out. Again, this happened after the heart stops, but the animal feels alive. Can be petted, etc.
Very shortly thereafter, there are no signs of life. The air, muscle tone and spirit leave the body. This is how I would go about it.
Important, look up or ask Vet about typical signs of dying behavior in dogs. They tend to try to wander off to be alone when they feel death at the door. That can be your cue.
IMHO don't let an animal or a person die of dehydration or starvation! Many people will say they don't want extraordinary measures. If you asked them shall we bring you to the desert at the end and let you die there, they would say Absolutely Not! But it is the same slow painful death! The desert would be kinder. So you need to have that discussion now!
People who slip away peacefully have air & water, and minimal nutrition. That way they pass as nature intends...not from choice of neglect.
I am a retired counselor who just had to do this with my Service Animal. Being with her through the end. Telling her the pain would go away was a great comfort. The Vet took some pictures of us before we started. This also helped. Take them at the next occassion they are up to it.
Burial, cremation, paying extra to have the ashes is a very personal choice. Ask your dad about what he wishes if the dog passed before he does. He may forget, but you will know the desires of his heart.
🙏♥️
He recovered from the loss by having a purpose from her death, picking out and supervising the tree burial. Lots of tears and memories, but joy in remembering her as well.
Sounds like the 12 yr old Faithful Companion needs shots for diabetes, is blind, deaf and wears a diaper and now is constipated....did I miss anything?
You already have all of it under control except the constipation and that is easily fixable.
Im sure for an extra $5 You might check with the Caregiver to see if she would administer the shots as it is not hard and that would eliminate having someone come over to do it.
Your Dad and Dog are as happy as one can be at that age just being around to comfort and love on one another.
Your Dad would most surely die from heartbreak if you were to take his one and only comfort and joy away from him.
That may be the reason that is keeping him alive today.
He is very fortunate to have someone like you to allow him to stay home with a Caregiver and his faithful and loving pup, Man's Best Friend.
Please continue with this and let God decide how long they should be together. You won't be sorry you did and You'll know in the end, you did everything you could.
I would probably try a replacement dog - and see how it goes - before you put down the older dog. You already know your father will not survive if you simply put down his love & joy. So you must think outside the box and be ready with a replacement.
Question: who is walking the dog? I ask this rhetorical question because if you do get a younger replacement, the new dog will need walking.
Deaf? Mom is nearly there, she might as well be.
Blind? I continue her macular degen treatments to ward that off! Incontinent (in dog's case, constipated apparently - haven't found that post yet, but still, potty issues)? Mom's there.
Diabetic? Mom is borderline...
Doggie still standing/walking/getting around on his own? Mom isn't now.
Doggie still do doggie things, his usual? Mom's living back in the past!
Gee, I guess mom is "suffering"... perhaps I should take mom to the vet....
(a few months ago she had a recurrence of knee/leg pain, which lasts about a day, but you'd think she was dying in agony. she should have had her knees "done" many years ago - too late now. it was a Friday evening and the staff person wanted me to take her to the ER, who likely wouldn't do ANYTHING for it, just like the previous time. She made me feel like I was torturing mom because I wouldn't take her. Next day, like it never happened. This has only happened twice in 1.5-2 years. But, the point here is mom SEEMED to be suffering, so add that to all her other ills and tell me what the calculator says....)
There are people and animals who are deaf. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals who are blind. They are not suffering.
There are people who are deaf and blind - do you think Helen Keller was suffering?
There are people and animals with potty issues. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals with diabetes. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals with mobility issues. They are not suffering.
There can be cases in ALL of the above where there might be suffering, but unless I haven't see it in a comment yet, this dog isn't suffering. Most can get around without sight/hearing, some even have life-long blindness or deafness (check out the blind cats online! They can even catch wand toys flying about and tackle other kittens! It is pretty amazing! On Vet Ranch, it wasn't limited vision for one kitten, the eyes were beyond saving, so the kitten had NO eyes!) or deafness. In the case of losing either/both gradually, people and animals can adjust and find their way around. Getting a little shot, if that's the treatment doggo is getting to treat the diabetes, it isn't exactly a time-consuming tough job! If testing is required, maybe a few more minutes. If constipated, pumpkin, yams, carrots - dogs can usually eat these, though if older the carrots might be a bit on the hard side. Having the dog by dad's side likely keeps him calm and happy, which is a blessing! Probably makes dad's care so much easier.
For sure there are those who are at the door needing to move on, or that are held back too long. If my Katie (almost 21yo cat) loses the ability to walk and perhaps use the litter box, or shows any signs of being in pain, etc, then I will reconsider. For now, it is what it is. She gets around, uses the litter, eats heartily, and so on. She has *almost* forgotten that she hates cats (not quite, but mostly!) But, she still fights me if I need to clean her ears or clip her nails, despite a lot of muscle wasting (partly when she was getting thyroid treated with medication, and partly old age.) Although at this point there won't be any vet visits, they have NOT suggested putting her down. They are amazed, given her age and issues, that she is still ticking along!
Just because we or they are old and perhaps a little infirm doesn't mean we need to be led to the "pasture". There is a big difference between needing some help and perhaps medical intervention, and suffering.
No matter whether it is sooner or a bit later, inevitably the time is looming when that awful decision has to be made for the sake of the dog, I am sure your father, in his previous wellness, would not have wanted his beloved friend to suffer, either.
Engage your vet in a solution, he or she might have good ideas too. Perha, see if he or she is aware of someone who needs to relinquish their own beloved companion due to ill health and would welcome a rehoming situation, perhaps with visiting rights. If your father knows he is looking after someone elses best friend it might give him a sense of purpose, and when his own dog has to be let go he will have something to hold on to and care about. And remember, people with dementia still want something meaningful in their life, they want to make a contribution, they need a sense of purpose.
There is a reason I did not suggest a rescue dog from a dogs home. By engaging the vet in the process you will have more success finding just the right dog from a situation which will optimise the chances of your fathers acceptance and adoption of a second best friend.
If it made your father happy to go to his home and stand on your head for 8 hours, would you do it?
This beloved dog brings your father comfort and has "taken care of" (vice versa, too) and is his best friend.
Please do NOT put him to sleep.
He brings your father companionship, love, and care in life.
My parents dog is 17 years old, blind, deaf and toothless. If she would wear a diaper that would be so helpful. She bucks like a bronco with one on though. So I take her to pee every 2 hours day or night. I have to chop up her food into swallowable chunks since she has nothing left to chew with. I've spent more on her medical bills than than has been spent on my parents and grandparents combined. The dog doesn't have insurance. The dental care alone cost about as much as a small car. A nice one. Every day she's still with us is a blessing. Dogs are family.
Good Luck!