My dad is 92, has dementia but lives at home with a daytime caregiver. He has a dog, 12 yrs old, blind, deaf and is diabetic. He requires 2 shots a day which we pay someone to cover over and administer the shots. The dog wears a dog diaper and also is now constipated. I know, I know, the dog should be put down but it is my dad's joy and reason for living. All he does is love on him. Dad's at the point where he doesn't care if the house smells or he smells. He sobs and sobs (actually wails) when the dog is gone for a couple of hours when he's at the vet. I'm afraid dad will go downhill when the dog is gone but I don't want the dog to suffer anymore. Will dad ask everyday where the dog is and then cry all over again. Its just so awful and sad.
Deaf? Mom is nearly there, she might as well be.
Blind? I continue her macular degen treatments to ward that off! Incontinent (in dog's case, constipated apparently - haven't found that post yet, but still, potty issues)? Mom's there.
Diabetic? Mom is borderline...
Doggie still standing/walking/getting around on his own? Mom isn't now.
Doggie still do doggie things, his usual? Mom's living back in the past!
Gee, I guess mom is "suffering"... perhaps I should take mom to the vet....
(a few months ago she had a recurrence of knee/leg pain, which lasts about a day, but you'd think she was dying in agony. she should have had her knees "done" many years ago - too late now. it was a Friday evening and the staff person wanted me to take her to the ER, who likely wouldn't do ANYTHING for it, just like the previous time. She made me feel like I was torturing mom because I wouldn't take her. Next day, like it never happened. This has only happened twice in 1.5-2 years. But, the point here is mom SEEMED to be suffering, so add that to all her other ills and tell me what the calculator says....)
There are people and animals who are deaf. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals who are blind. They are not suffering.
There are people who are deaf and blind - do you think Helen Keller was suffering?
There are people and animals with potty issues. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals with diabetes. They are not suffering.
There are people and animals with mobility issues. They are not suffering.
There can be cases in ALL of the above where there might be suffering, but unless I haven't see it in a comment yet, this dog isn't suffering. Most can get around without sight/hearing, some even have life-long blindness or deafness (check out the blind cats online! They can even catch wand toys flying about and tackle other kittens! It is pretty amazing! On Vet Ranch, it wasn't limited vision for one kitten, the eyes were beyond saving, so the kitten had NO eyes!) or deafness. In the case of losing either/both gradually, people and animals can adjust and find their way around. Getting a little shot, if that's the treatment doggo is getting to treat the diabetes, it isn't exactly a time-consuming tough job! If testing is required, maybe a few more minutes. If constipated, pumpkin, yams, carrots - dogs can usually eat these, though if older the carrots might be a bit on the hard side. Having the dog by dad's side likely keeps him calm and happy, which is a blessing! Probably makes dad's care so much easier.
For sure there are those who are at the door needing to move on, or that are held back too long. If my Katie (almost 21yo cat) loses the ability to walk and perhaps use the litter box, or shows any signs of being in pain, etc, then I will reconsider. For now, it is what it is. She gets around, uses the litter, eats heartily, and so on. She has *almost* forgotten that she hates cats (not quite, but mostly!) But, she still fights me if I need to clean her ears or clip her nails, despite a lot of muscle wasting (partly when she was getting thyroid treated with medication, and partly old age.) Although at this point there won't be any vet visits, they have NOT suggested putting her down. They are amazed, given her age and issues, that she is still ticking along!
Just because we or they are old and perhaps a little infirm doesn't mean we need to be led to the "pasture". There is a big difference between needing some help and perhaps medical intervention, and suffering.
I would probably try a replacement dog - and see how it goes - before you put down the older dog. You already know your father will not survive if you simply put down his love & joy. So you must think outside the box and be ready with a replacement.
Question: who is walking the dog? I ask this rhetorical question because if you do get a younger replacement, the new dog will need walking.
Sounds like the 12 yr old Faithful Companion needs shots for diabetes, is blind, deaf and wears a diaper and now is constipated....did I miss anything?
You already have all of it under control except the constipation and that is easily fixable.
Im sure for an extra $5 You might check with the Caregiver to see if she would administer the shots as it is not hard and that would eliminate having someone come over to do it.
Your Dad and Dog are as happy as one can be at that age just being around to comfort and love on one another.
Your Dad would most surely die from heartbreak if you were to take his one and only comfort and joy away from him.
That may be the reason that is keeping him alive today.
He is very fortunate to have someone like you to allow him to stay home with a Caregiver and his faithful and loving pup, Man's Best Friend.
Please continue with this and let God decide how long they should be together. You won't be sorry you did and You'll know in the end, you did everything you could.
Second, most High Schools, both public and private require Community Service Hours for graduation. Call the school counselor for every school and try to get a group of volunteers to help with walks.
3) He will notice a substitute dog!
4) If the dog is quivering in pain, that can't be controlled with meds, or won't consume fluids for say 48 hours, or food for 3-4 days...then you can give subcutaneous fluids at home for up to 2 weeks, would be my advice.
Beyond that, pay to have a Vet come to your place. Your father might be able to relax the dog while they treat the pain... sedation before putting it down. Some dogs will freak out a little..chasing dragons as my Vet put it..for about 3-4 minutes. Then they will want to curl up by, or rest their head on their owner.
The next step is totally painless. If you think it helps, & Vet agrees, tell them this is a treatment that could help the dog, but doesn't always work. He can comfort the animal. After the heart stops, there will be one last movement..a death breath/gasp...a large dog might groan, mine just moved a bit and air came out. Again, this happened after the heart stops, but the animal feels alive. Can be petted, etc.
Very shortly thereafter, there are no signs of life. The air, muscle tone and spirit leave the body. This is how I would go about it.
Important, look up or ask Vet about typical signs of dying behavior in dogs. They tend to try to wander off to be alone when they feel death at the door. That can be your cue.
IMHO don't let an animal or a person die of dehydration or starvation! Many people will say they don't want extraordinary measures. If you asked them shall we bring you to the desert at the end and let you die there, they would say Absolutely Not! But it is the same slow painful death! The desert would be kinder. So you need to have that discussion now!
People who slip away peacefully have air & water, and minimal nutrition. That way they pass as nature intends...not from choice of neglect.
I am a retired counselor who just had to do this with my Service Animal. Being with her through the end. Telling her the pain would go away was a great comfort. The Vet took some pictures of us before we started. This also helped. Take them at the next occassion they are up to it.
Burial, cremation, paying extra to have the ashes is a very personal choice. Ask your dad about what he wishes if the dog passed before he does. He may forget, but you will know the desires of his heart.
🙏♥️
He recovered from the loss by having a purpose from her death, picking out and supervising the tree burial. Lots of tears and memories, but joy in remembering her as well.
If you say the dog is your father's reason for living, why are you contemplating euthanizing the dog? You know the answer to your own question. Yes, your father will go downhill and will cry and ask about the dog. So leave well enough alone and let the both of them enjoy the time they have left together. I am sure the dog loves you father as well.
The dog is a living being, not simply an object that exists for the sole purpose of service to humans. It deserves kindness and compassion.
Reactions like this one are why I'm not a fan of terms like "putting down" to describe euthanasia. I'm in no way criticizing the OP, just pointing out the way words carry different tones and baggage.
I've had to euthanize horses, cats, and dogs throughout my life. It's an incredibly difficult decision to make and to carry out (as evidenced by to OP's pained indecision). But if we prioritize the animal's well being in our hearts and minds, we often know when further medical intervention is just prolonging the cruelty of pain only to satisfy our own wishes to not let go.
My heart goes out to everyone involved there. This is such a hard situation.
“ natural death “ . He insisted on staying with her which I know now was a good thing as he said goodbye ( I didn’t at the time and wanted him to remain with my daughter while I stayed but I was wrong ) I will say it was a very rough time . I will also say I should have done it sooner and not have listened to the Drs . I also have to say my husband was still aware to a certain extent of what was going on even tho I had to explain after how ill she was over and over and over . I gave him a project of pasting her photos all over our bedroom wall and every night he holds Elsa and shows her all the photos . That seems to give him great comfort even tho it’s a bit maudlin .
Sorry I’ve gone on and on . I think that I’ve been so concerned about his loss and ignored mine that writing this has really comforted me.
She was a wonderful devoted dog who brought both of us great joy.
Thank you all for this opportunity!
Does anyone close to your dad have a dog? I'm not suggesting any other dog can replace THIS dog (when you lose a dog, you don't want another dog, you want him) but pet therapy of some sort might help.
Discuss with your vet the dogs quality of life and pain he may be in.
If the vet feels the dog can continue on my input would be-
who is cleaning up after the dog? Is it the daytime caregiver- discuss all that needs to be done. If more help is needed then hire someone to specifically help out and clean up after the dog.
If it’s time to let go-
Your dad may understand if his dog needs to cross over.
If he’s had other pets you can remind him of his others animals that have left. They will all be together and running free.
He may remember and maybe not.
If it’s time-
He may bring it up every hour, ask where’s his dog Is and cry.
As a nurse I have taken care of clients who have lost loved animals. They can go months without asking or ask all day.
This is where white lies are ok.
please don’t say remember we put him down- that can anger them and upset them more.
Ive said they have passed and the remains are on the mantel. If they continue and the above isn’t working- Ive said they are outside, other room sleeping etc.
If getting another dog will help-
possibly say your friends dog can’t go when they move-would he like to help and have the dog live with him?
Best of luck
I had to euthanize our dog this summer. My 94 y.o. mom doesn't even remember her.
That just gives you a bit of a background on my daily involvement level. Not to drag this out... Mom's 14 year old westie had been a healthy dog for 13 years. In the last year he succumbed to various ailments including blindness. I am a dog person. I held her dog in my arms when she brought him home as an 8 wk old pup. It was time.
Because of family dynamic and dysfunction, they abandoned the act of selflessness in favor of mom's "feelings."
In short, i am with their mom all day and I am the one who gently reminds her that Buddy has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and waits for her loyally. Numerous times a day. Like as many as 15 times a day. And we cry. And we talk about funny times and we cry. It's been over 10 weeks now. And I would advise you to act in kindness and humane behavior and spare the dog the agony. After all they rely on the one with the thumbs to make the toughest decisions. And shoe your father the same kindness and cry. Talk. And remember that they who have fur are our family too.
Blessed Be
Samantha
I ABHOR the practice of euthanizing pets because they've become inconvenient. I told my son if anything happens to me and he doesn't care for my pets I will haunt his a**. Fortunately, he knows I love him and would NEVER knowingly saddle him with the responsibility of a dog that may outlive me.
Children of seniors should consider that even though their parents may have dementia, they can still FEEL love. And that's what their pets are.
If you think your dad only has a few weeks to live (hard to tell, I'm sure) then I would say keep the dog, but otherwise it is time to end the poor animal's suffering.
I know this is a long shot, but is it possible to find another dog that looks just like his, or enough like his dog, that he might not notice? Could you find someone with a therapy dog to come in and show love to your dad a few times a week?
When my dad had to go into assisted living, we had to have his old cat euthanized because no one wanted an old cat, and we couldn't keep her because everyone in our household is highly allergic to cats. I still feel guilty for not being more understanding.
I hope you find a good solution, because you really are between a rock and a hard place.
That is something that I have used to gage whether I needed to go to the vet or wait it out. Has not been wrong one time in the 25 years I have been aware of it.
Another thing that I have also experienced is that some dogs will milk an injury or illness because they are enjoying all of the special treatment.
I don't know how to put my contact info down privately but if you can't private message me, and you have a FB account. Go to #1 Lost and Found Animals in McMinn County, TN and ALL Surrounding areas and leave a post that you need to talk to Juliana about your dads dog. I will do what I can.
P.S. I empathize with you and know that this is a difficult decision. I give you huge kudos for reaching out for advice. Whatever decision you make will be a tough one. I will keep you in my prayers and like I said, contact me if you'de like, and we can discuss it more in depth and try to come up with a solution. Even though a dog is old and sick doesn't mean he is ready to go. He won't go till his "master" does. But, I am not there. I would talk to the vet about the constipation. Maybe his anal glands are impacted. Maybe he needs more fiber in his diet. I have a great place to purchase top quality fish oil. It helped my dogs with constipation. You have to be careful with some products, and I researched like crazy when the vet said to get some fish oil. Some of it can make the dog sick. Please keep us posted. Whatever you decide to do is going to be tough. I have a whole network of people across the country that can help you if you need it. (((HUGS)))
To help our mother who has recently passed away, we had to trick her into moving to a place that would be her earthly salvation and then move next door when she entered decline. If we had been soooooooooooooo honest and told her everything out misplaced guilt--- for at least two or three months we would have endured holy hell, and then she would have forgotten how she got there.
Also--- what we did was provide another dog that visited her instead of living there with her. IT ALL WORKED out fine. So do the right thing and take care of business. Talking about it will not make it any easier. But action will eventually bring a greater peace to the situation. And you do not have to tell him the dog is dead-- that would be extremely thoughtless. Good luck. Do the right thing.
In either case the current dog should be put down soon, it is suffering.