Should we go ahead and sell Mom's car? How do we approach the subject with her?

I have only kept my mothers car because when she wants to go out she wants to ride in it. One of her random questions “Is my car still out there?” She can look out the window and see it. She hasn’t driven in 5 yrs due to dementia and doesn’t really want to drive. I tell her she’s The Queen and I am her driver because she is special!

Well given you have POA and can transfer title to make the sale, my answer is yes, of course the car should not be left in any wise that she can DRIVE it. As to whether to sell it or not, another question. It is robbing her of all hope to drive again, and of her car, which at this point can be driven FOR her with her in it. I think gently explaining that it is no longer responsible for her to drive, and perhaps having the reinforced by her doctor or asking DMV for a drivers test, if necessary would work. Just not sure I would remove the car. These things become very symbolic for us as we lose more and more and yet more as we age.

Have her doctor tell her.

Even if you have a POA, you can’t use it to go against her wishes as long as she is mentally competent.

Get ready to go gray rock and not react. The driving issue came up for a year after we pulled the plug on mom's car. She was 95 at the time. She passed the drivers written test and her license expired at age 97.

I watch the elder neighbor just sit in his truck sometimes and go nowhere. I maybe should try this I thought as I read your post. Mom was meticulous with her car and I've decided its best to keep it around for sentimental reasons. She looks at it from the kitchen and dusts it off like before (she's walking precariously still). It's the apple of her eye and wishes to give it to one of the grandkids who could care less. Although she talks to whoever is listening also about selling it, I believe she just wants to have its value acknowledged. I watched her maintain it beyond the value of the car and she drove around the corner as her last venture. When I could get her in my car, I would take the 'scenic route' on streets familiar to her.

I had two uncles and two different outcomes when it came to driving. Uncle number one was a lawyer and he knew that if he had an accident, he would be liable for damages especially if some one got hurt. He gave his car to his son and made arrangements. He talked the AL into buying a van so residents could get rides. Problem solved. Other uncle refused to give up driving and would drive and forget how to get home. He was picked up by the police who noticed he was lost. We told him that parking lots are very difficult because little kids run and you cant see them. NOTHING worked. He had dementia and could not be reasoned with.
He also refused to have home health care because they would"steal". Not true.
He was found die at home and had been on the floor for several days. There was nothing we could do and it was very sad for his sons.

Lesson use the fact that if they have an accident, they could harm someone and/or get sued and lose. Therefore arrange for someone to drive. There are lots of options. The one that we liked was that there were veterans from the American Legion who would like a part time job. Would have given him some new friends and a safe ride.
GOOD LUCK

When my friend, Jim, for whom I am his POA, needed to stop driving but wouldn't, I called Adult Protective Services for advice. When someone calls, they have to go check on them. I made sure I got there first so she would be let in. When she spoke with Jim, she could see he was confused about things. The Minnesota State department of Transportation had cancelled his license already, but he would not stop driving. He still had the license in his wallet and thought everything was still fine. Then she asked him about what he thought he should do with the car if he couldn't drive. He promptly said "Sell it and get some money out of it!" At that point he would give me the keys, which he had refused to do before. I took it to a friend's garage to clean it out and get it ready to sell and it sold very quickly.

I needed the help of Adult Protective Services to get this to happen and it worked perfectly. Perhaps an "outside voice" like that would help you, too.

My dad’s helper uses his car to take him where he needs and wants to go. It’s part of the agreement we signed. He’s also dependent on a rollator and lives alone. He likes that his car is being used even though he’s not driving it. Could this be a help to your mom? Or do you think riding in her car would agitate her further?

We kept my Mom's car for the helpers to use so it was in her garage (keys hidden). Occasionally she would say she wanted to drive it but, I think she knew it was dangerous for both her and others. There were news stories about older people killing others in accidents and she did pay attention to those. A few times, when she was persistent about driving again, I told her it would be best to have her tested at a local rehab facility to see if they thought she was OK to drive. This facility performed a driving test and then would give the participant their opinion of whether they should be driving (along with the results of the test). This took the family out of it and was an objective opinion. We never got that far but it was something to keep in my back pocket whenever it came up.

Please have her driving skills tested. Let the testing facility explain that she can not drive again. Give her at least a month for the fact to sink in before addressing issues about disposing of her car.