It’s not like we want to go behind her back but to make a long story short something has got to give. She’s 91 and been living with us for a few years and used to help out a little which was good since it kept her busy. As of late seems all she wants to do is sleep. We work outside the house not close by and kids are in college and high school so she’s by herself all day. Lately she gets up in the AM before the high schoolers go to school but then she’s in bed by 2:30/3 in the afternoon and some days will sleep til the next morning. We do leave food for her and she does appear to eat breakfast and the lunch we make sometimes she’ll have supper sometimes not. We know she’s old but sleeping that much just doesn’t seem normal. A nurse friend checked her meds and said they wouldn’t be causing that much sleep so not sure what or who we should contact. The kids rarely have friends over because it bothers them too which makes us as parents sad.
Thus we are basically just venting so thanks for listening and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
She may not know why but I would ask for her best guess.
When my aunt did that several years ago it turned out she was severely constipated. The only other symptoms were that her bp began to creep up. Then she became nauseous. She had a history of nausea so I didn’t react immediately. Then one day her bathing aide said her breath smelled of poop so I took her to the ER After an X-ray we knew what it was. She was having bms and her bowel sounds were “normal” but that still turned out to be the problem. A UTI should be checked for. Dehydration is always a concern with the elderly. Ask her doctor to order home health and a physical therapy assessment. You can send him a note if he won’t discuss her health with you. I’m not saying boredom can’t be a problem but any unusual behavior should be checked out.
The sad part is when we try to discuss things with her she gets defensive and it usually ends in an argument and she storms off to bed. It’s sort of like she knows what we are doing to say and doesn’t want to hear it
Best wishes to your family.
But that's a side issue: excessive sleeping could have a number of causes and yes you should give this information to your mother's doctor. Be open about it, it's relevant to her health and it may be important, it's nothing for her to be embarrassed about.
Keep an accurate journal recording her daily routine, ideally ask her to participate in it but mainly do it yourself. And then when is her next appointment? I wouldn't leave it more than a week or two; and if you notice any other changes that worry you treat it as an emergency and get medical attention straight away.