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Xmas is approaching and I am wondering if it is a good idea to have her come home My concern is she wasn’t going to leave here and we got her into assisted living won’t having her back in her home confused and agitate her ?

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Dear Alanna,

When my grandmother went into the nursing home, my aunts and uncles thought it would be best to bring Christmas to her instead. The family booked a room at the nursing home and we were able to bring in food. She was wheelchair bound and they felt it was safer for her to be around a skilled nurse at the facility instead of coming home. It is a tough choice sometimes but hopefully the nursing staff can help with this decision.
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If you bring your mom to your home for Christmas will she become upset when she has to go back to the facility? If this is an issue I'd try to think of some other way of celebrating Christmas with your mom like bringing her Christmas dinner where she lives and having dinner with her (it might be your second dinner of the day so maybe eat light during the first one).

If your mom has dementia will you be bringing her home to a house full of relatives and friends? All of that noise and stimulation can agitate someone with dementia. But if you're having a smaller crowd of people your mom is familiar with try bringing her home for a few hours. Any longer and she'll get very tired and is liable to become anxious.

Whatever you decide to do my suggestion would be to keep it brief whether you're visiting her or she's visiting you.
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I hit the "Post Answer" button twice. Sorry about that:)
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With the holidays coming, this will be a common question for many who have loved ones in AL or LTC facilities. I suggest that you first talk with the Nurse Coordinator or Director of Nursing and the Social Services Director and ask them if is a good idea to have your mom go home for Christmas. Some facilities don't mind if you take a resident out for a few hours, but staying overnight in at a family member's house can affect their Medicare or Medicaid coverage. Also, consider the amount of care that your mother needs and whether you can provide that care properly in the house/building that you are taking her to.

If your church has Livestream, you might be able to watch the Christmas Eve church service with your Mom on your laptop in her room. Or see if you can get a DVD of the Christmas Eve service and watch with your Mom on Christmas Day.

Instead of taking your Mom out for Christmas, you might bring Christmas to her! Many facilities have dining rooms or guest rooms that you can reserve for 2-3 hours. Bring Christmas dinner and have some of her relatives eat with her. Or bring Christmas presents for everyone who is attending and take turns opening their presents. You might want to buy some presents that your Mom can give to family members that visit her. Play Christmas music on a CD player or laptop (but not too loudly.)

For Thanksgiving, our family took KFC chicken meal to the LTC facility where our Mom is and ate in one of their small dining rooms. I brought a couple of dinner plates and dessert plates from each of the china sets that Mom has. She told stories about who the china had belonged to, what events/celebrations the china had been used for and other interesting facts. We have a GREAT time reminiscing past holidays.

Hope that these suggestions are helpful. Have a Merry Christmas.
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