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My brother is disabled and not able to hold a full-time job. He gets paid for doing housekeeping tasks for Mother, by the county program she is on. He puts in more time than they pay in for but some of it is companionship. This arrangement is good for the whole family.
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Macada....thank you for your opinion. It sounds right to me. I give him money for
Especially difficult and demanding situations. He's a very helpful and loving son.
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mythyme- I think a person should be paid by their parent if they have given up their job and social life to care for their parent(s). Before I was my mum's live-in-caregiver I was just her POA and I did a lot of running around for her financial matters etc. but I didn't charge her for my time for errands. When I gave up my employment to look after her.. that is when I started to take a salary.
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What if the son is putting in a lot of effort and time on our behalf but is not caregiving as such. Should we pay him?
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Check out how much Assisted Living or a Nursing Home would cost. Then do a little research into what a great job these people do. I hear it is a mixed bag. Then instead of asking if your sister should be paid, why not ask how can I show her my gratitude for a job well done.
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I agree with all of course she should be paid..
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Of course
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Absolutely. Especially if the care provided by the sister is keeping mom out of a care facility or taking the place of paid in-home care. Your sister may have "plenty of retirement income", but she is giving up a relaxed, relatively care-free retirement to care for mom. You and your other siblings (if there are any) should do everything you can to thank your sister, give her breaks whenever possible, and compensate her for her time. If Medicaid may be in the future for your mom, you should have a care contract written up so that the money paid to your sister is not treated as a gift on mom's Medicaid application.
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Yes, I think she should be paid for taking care of your parent, as long as your parent can afford to pay her. The fact that your sister has plenty of retirement income should not enter into it, in my opinion.
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Yes.

I believe that every caregiver should be paid and that it is especially important when there are siblings. I don't think the pay should be a huge hardship for the parent, but most seniors have SS and/or some retirement income. They should have the dignity of paying their own way, even if it is not full market value.

What is "plenty" of retirement income is not for others to judge. And giving up personal time to care for someone else (even someone you love) is a sacrifice. That should be recognized and rewarded by the rest of the family.

Paying the child who is doing the caregiving allows equal distribution of the estate (if there is any to distribute) after the parent's death. For one child to "donate" three years of her life to caring for the parent and then all the children to inherit equally leads to hard feelings. Pay-as-you go for the caregiving avoids this completely.

It is also important -- critical -- that some arrangement be made for respite for the caregiver. Regular time off is essential to avoid burnout. This could be provided by a paid professional, or by other family members.
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