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Only one sibling has looked after them for 7 years. After mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and was unable to manage by herself at home it was agreed that she would sell her small house and move in with one of her 5 daughters.Some of the money from the sale of her house has been used to buy daycare which is now up to 3 days a week.The other 4 daughters are unable or unwilling to to share in the care of mum and make a few visits each per year but at the home home of the sister and her husband where they care for mum and in latter times this is more of a hinderance than a help.Should all siblings have an equal share of any money that MAY be left?

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Sorry, I did not mean to press like, I meant to press the link to respond. If there is nothing to inherit and the house is already deeded to you, I don't think you have much to worry about because they will not have a leg to stand on. Frankly, the house may end up being sold as part of the Medicaid regroup of money for paying for nursing home expenses if he goes on medicaid. That issues I think you can research using the site search in the upper right had corner of this page.
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I keep hearing that if your parents or parent does not leave anything to other sivlings they can take you to court. My father already deeded his house to me, and placed all decisions to me, health poa and financial. However im afraid if my dad doesnt leave them but $1 , they could take me to court and ask for part of this house. Is this true?
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I agree with what the others said. There will probably be little left at the end, if anything at all. It is the nature of the disease when the people are not wealthy.

My mother was upset that my brothers did not pay attention to her and talked to me about leaving everything to me. My self-centered side thought it was a good idea, but I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. If anything is left of her estate, it will be divided equally four ways, except the house, which goes to me. I told her I did not want her to change the will because she would be doing it out of anger. I didn't want her last words to her sons to be words of anger.

There was another big thing to consider. Most of the money in the estate was earned by my father, who would have probably preferred to have things shared equally among his children. If there is any money left, it doesn't mean enough to me to hurt my siblings.
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Dilly, Yes the estate should be divided up equally. Since it is small to begin with, why worry about it.
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I totally agree, cmagnum, I only mentioned the hotel because OP was becoming tired of having them stay in her home, and I wasn't positive that the sisters could afford to visit *and* pay for a room. Rooms have gotten very expensive over the years. I didn't think it would look good if it could be said that OP was discouraging the sisters to visit.

I agree that it will be highly unlikely that there will be anything left to divide, as long term care (LTC) is very expensive.

I just think OP is putting the cart before the horse, and listening to other people who are only speaking out of loyalty to their friend will just stir up animosity. I got from this post that this arrangement has gone on for several years, and who really knows how many years are ahead?
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There won't be any money left. I wouldn't worry too much about "fairness" in a will.

What is fair, in my mind, if for the parent receiving care to pay for it as it happens, with a monthly amount for room and board and/or care. Few parents can afford to actual fair market value of their care, but paying what they can helps may distributing anything that is left equally more fair.
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There will be nothing left. Mum is headed for memory care soon. Guaranteed.
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I see from your profile that your mom has Azheimer's and that is a possible major game changer. There just might not be any money left in her estate at the end for her money may have to be spent down if she reaches the point where one person doing 24/7 care is totally impossible and she will likely need a memory care unit in a nursing home which at that point you would likely need to apply for medicaid for her. I hope she gave you durable and medical POA.

I hear what you are saying about the fairness issue, but if she is not of sound mind to change her will, then what the Will says is the final word. Do your siblings know what is in the Will? Who gets to execute the Will? If she is of sound enough mind to make some changes from her own free will, then I would not show them the current will. I think that your sisters could pay for their own hotel room. I pay for mine when I go to visit my dad who is in another state and 7-8 hour drive away.
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Things could still change. Especially since you are beginning to resent having Mum live with you and your ill husband. One of the other sisters could still step up to the plate and take over full time care for your mother. Then what? I think you are looking for trouble where none may exist.

Money comes between *more* siblings than you would ever believe. Your friends have given their opinion based on facts as they know them, but like you said, Mum has Alzheimer's and may not be of "sound mind" necessary to alter her will.

Maybe Mum could pay for a hotel room when the sisters come to visit?
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The will was made before the Alzheimers.Should I broach the subject with siblings as I don't think it has entered their heads but close friends have made me feel the situation would be unfair as they appreciate how our lives have been completely put on hold and now my husband is in ill health too.
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What does your Mum's Will say? When someone is first diagnosed with memory issues [if caught soon enough], they are still able to have a say on how an estate is distributed among the heirs and put that into writing. Otherwise, the other siblings should share some their own share with the person who took on looking after a parent.
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