My Mom (AD) has been in an assisted living since mid April. Should I move forward with renting her house out to cover the cost? - AgingCare.com

My Mom (AD) has been in an assisted living since mid April. Should I move forward with renting her house out to cover the cost?

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She has not been officially diagnosed, but Alzheimer's is highly suspect per the neurologist (couldn't do the MRI because she has a pacemaker). Logically, I know she will not be able to live alone in her own house (she is defiant against any rules that she'd have to follow with in home care), but I feel that I'm dragging my feet getting her house ready to rent (for the income to cover the cost of the assisted living); my heart keeps saying "what if....?" I feel bad because she hasn't seen her home since Easter (took her to ER the next day because she wasn't eating & not taking her BP & diabetic meds ). It's so hard because sometimes she seems so absolutely fine and goes along with the program; other times she repeats herself, gets angry, is paranoid, and wants to know exactly how long she will be there.

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Cap'n so what did you do with all that glass…..one heckofa weekly recycling bin.
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id think long and hard about ever renting to anyone again . i had a woman living upstairs in my house swilling 1/2 gallon bottles of everclear , chain smoking and passing out cold about every 12 hours . never again..
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Also try to find out what type of dementia your mom is likely to have. If she's possibly Lewy Body dementia, well, those can go for a decade before their demise and can be quite cognitive and competent for periods of time and then periods of confusion. Alz is a shorter run life expectancy for dementia. Not to be crass, but dealing with a home for a decade is quite different than having to deal with one for a couple of years
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Denise - it sounds like you are getting 2 different placement options…NH & AL. I'd like to suggest that you get a consensus as to just what level of care mom needs. The cost of AL is going to be very different that the more costly NH.

If it seems like mom is really better going into a NH, will the rent paid be enough to private pay in full for the NH as well as all the costs related to renting out the home? NH can run from 5K - 15K a month, so really get a hard cost estimate on all this. If rental won't cover private pay, then carefully speak with a Medicaid caseworker as to just how your states Medicaid program deals with rental property owned by a Medicaid recipient. Make sure that the tax assessor value of the property is within Medicaid's rules too. Depending on just what you can realistically rent it for, you may find that you or other family members end up having to pay for many of the costs associated with the property and that you will have to do this for the property for the rest of mom's lifetime and then seek reimbursement of these costs as your own claim or lien against your mom's estate in probate later on after she has died. Also check with mom's insurance to see what is allowed for rental once the property owner has moved out - you likely will have to get a separate policy for rental property. Mom's homeowner policy will not be valid once she rents it out. Make sure rentals are OK for mom's neighborhood too - both as whatever is in city statues or HOA but also what the vibe is from the neighborhood association viewpoint as to rentals.

If mom's likelihood of being in AL is maybe just a couple of months and she is best in a NH and could be there for several years, then think hard if dealing with rental property or moms empty house is really something you want to take on both physically (like having to do things at the property) and financially (roof needs replacement and cannot be rented till done and mom's income is going towards her payment at the AL/NH so its all on your purse to pay). Good luck whatever path you decide on.
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I did and felt almost the exact same things. It took me a loong time and several supporting opinions besides mine to accept that Mom would not be able to come home and live by herself again. Mom really never did, but that I think was good because it helped her feel hopeful. So, I never even told Mom much about it all. Felt bad about that too, but I think in retrospect it was the right thing. If you are renting the house, maybe take pictures of the way it is before you do that will be a comfort to you and mom both. Mine did not ever want to visit until she could go back for good, but having pictures showing the lawn was being taken care of helped her a lot...I would not have dared to show her the ones from inside because I had rearranged furniture so she could have used a wheelchair there even though she did not want me to! THOSE pictures were for me...Making the decisions and then selling the house and using proceeds to pay for Mom's care (she was 15 hours away until we moved her out of her home state to ours) was possibly the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life....hugs.
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Thank you both! The docs @ hospital after ER told me (via the case worker) that she needed SNF when discharged and then I needed to think long term as she shouldn't live alone. It didn't feel like doc at SNF wanted to commit to ANYTHING, he just documented confusion. We had the appointment with the neurologist already scheduled for early (I had taken her to her primary care back in March before all of this happened - she had suspicions enough to refer us to the neurologist). As I type this, I feel like I am answering my own question & just want to tell myself to "get on with it - rent it out!"

I'm taking her back to primary care again next week (my Mom says she likes her) to get one last supportive opinion :) and then I'm going for it on the house! The alf is not cheap!
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Get the dumpster!! We cleaned out everything, steamed carpets washed curtains and had a painter brighten up the living room and bedrooms plus strip the kitchen wallpaper and repaint that too. Got it rented in 3 days by posting it on Zillow.
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What do her primary doctors say - not the ones in the ALF but the ones who treated her in the hospital?

I don't think your indecision is unreasonable; you don't know what will happen and you don't want the house to be unavailable if she does come home.

Was she sent directly to an ALF from the hospital? What were the justifications? It sounds as if this is going to be her permanent home and that she won't be returning to her private residence. But I think it really depends on the justification for the ALF placement and whether or not that can be reversed, similar to remediation from skilled nursing placement for physical issues.
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