I don't get how so many of you manage to get an actual formal diagnosis and keep your loved one unaware. Why is the doctor talking to you and not the patient? In the early stages the patient should be the person addressed, of course as I have already said in the later stages it is different. Are all these specialists wusses? The person with dementia may choose to disbelieve, but in my opinion that is another topic.
Yes - they should be told and as others have stated, if they are still competent, the POAs, DNR, Living Will, and Will should be completed. Also, co signor added to bank accounts, bill paying assigned to a trusted family member. A short and long term care plan must be discussed with siblings or children. It takes a village as caregiving is 24/7 if done at home. Peace and Blessings.
There is no set answer to this question. In my case I am the POA of a friend who wasn't diagnosed until he was 88. (2 years after he retired). He never questioned his memory loss or any of his other symptoms. They just became a part of his life. Thus I felt no need to tell him he has dementia. I wouldn't lie if he asked but why burst his bubble if he is happy.
Yes, the person should be told. If still pretty cognitive, they have to be able to set up POAs, wills, NRA and get finances in order. I didn't like doing Moms bills when she was still living home but by doing them I found where all the stuff I'd eventually need was. Made things so much easier.
Sue, your story reminds me of one told to me by my cousin. She went to visit her aunt (from the other side of the family) in the nursing home and asked her how she liked living there. Auntie was full of praise for the place, and then confided "I'm so glad they didn't put me in __________", which was the name of the NH she lived in. LOL.
My mother also feared getting dementia but her fear was she would be 'comitted' in a memory care facility. Even at stage 5 Alzheimer's she'd say, "You're never putting me in one of 'those' places!" The reality was that, at 92, she HAD to go into a memory care facility due to the confusion for her own safety. I had to trick her to get her there. She was irate in the beginning but has grown to accept it. For many of us there is no other choice.
I think they remember what 'nursing homes' used to be like... dark, smelly places filled with 'crazy' old people. Maybe they visited their own grandparents there. They remained scared about institutions ever since. Unfortunately, they have not been updated on how they are now... bright, cheerful places with activities, games, classes, music, good food, lovely surroundings, etc.
I hope I can accept my own failing mental and physical health and not resist the inevitable. My dad realized what had to be done as he declined (he lived in a board and care) and went along with the program. It made his last years so much more enjoyable knowing he was being taken care of and took a great load off my mind too. It's too bad that we have to have this disease at all.
I feel it is a personal issue! My Mom's mother and brother had Alzheimers and she was anxious and feared it worse than death after seeing what they went thru. We chose not to tell my mom but in my heart I know she was aware of it and struggled with it for 10 yrs and finally passed and is at peace. I think she knew me she couldn't communicate but smiled and at times said I was her sister(she had none) but I spoke to her about everything pertinent and what was going in in life. The brain is an interesting organ we don't know what these patients comprehend or not! So its up to you! In most instances they must know!! know the person and what they can handle! good luck its not easy!
's Mom and broter had it nd she feaed it worse than death
Fisherman, are you asking specifically in relation to your wife? Because I see that she presented with the beginnings of dementia two years ago, so presumably you and she have talked about - or at least around - how she's managing over that time.
How does she generally respond to the subject when it comes up during medical appointments and so on?
The afflicted "know" something isn't right. Upon finding out about their dementia, they can accept it or reject it. If accepting the diagnosis, they can make plans with family and friends and plot their course. If rejecting the diagnosis, play along and keep them as happy as possible, while explaining to them that they should sign you on to bank accounts and power of attorney "just in case" IF something happened later. You can't force someone to accept a diagnosis they don't want.
It depends. If someone has dementia and is in denial about it, is having reasoning and memory problems it serves no purpose to try and convince them anything is wrong.
With my dad the best I can do is gently remind him that he's getting a little forgetful. He will accept that but would go nuts if I tried to explain he has moderate dementia. For us, it's just not worth the battle.
I tell my mom she has dementia not Alzheimer's because her dr.has told me directly that she doesn't know if my mom has Alzheimer's. I guess I'm splitting hairs, but she forgets anyway. I wish I knew if she had Alzheimer's versus dementia. I know Alzheimer's is one of up to 50 different types of dementia , but I would feel more knowledgeable , and better able to plan the future if I had a more definable diagnosis.
Yes, I believe someone should be told if they have Alzheimer's. Primarily because it's their body and mind and they have a right to know. Not being told is the same as being lied to.
Yes, absolutely, it allows the person to make plans for their future, just as they would if they were diagnosed with any other life limiting condition. There was a local man who became a vocal spokesperson and fundraiser for the Alz Society and was able to participate in an annual walk for donations for years after his diagnosis. The exception would be if the diagnosis is not made until the disease is more advanced, because by then they really aren't in a position to understand.
I think they remember what 'nursing homes' used to be like... dark, smelly places filled with 'crazy' old people. Maybe they visited their own grandparents there. They remained scared about institutions ever since. Unfortunately, they have not been updated on how they are now... bright, cheerful places with activities, games, classes, music, good food, lovely surroundings, etc.
I hope I can accept my own failing mental and physical health and not resist the inevitable. My dad realized what had to be done as he declined (he lived in a board and care) and went along with the program. It made his last years so much more enjoyable knowing he was being taken care of and took a great load off my mind too. It's too bad that we have to have this disease at all.
's Mom and broter had it nd she feaed it worse than death
How does she generally respond to the subject when it comes up during medical appointments and so on?
With my dad the best I can do is gently remind him that he's getting a little forgetful. He will accept that but would go nuts if I tried to explain he has moderate dementia. For us, it's just not worth the battle.