So the latest thing is my Mother has decided she isn't going to follow through with long standing doctor's appointments she's required to have for ongoing prescriptions etc.
These are quarterly or some of them every six months. Literally life or death if she stops treatment.
So citing covid and other possible reasons, she just won't go.
100% going to die if she refuses prescriptions, 100% going to disown me if I fight her until I'm literally forced to move because providing care isn't wanted and I don't think I can watch her end without a fight.
So, is it time for me to abandon "operation help mom"?
It isn't illegal to just not follow drs advice, and I don't have to stay here.
Thank You for any advice
I’m assuming that she has always followed the doctor’s orders before since you said if she stops treatment it will be certain death.
Her fear is crippling and I suppose she is just plain tired of it all. Do you think if she spoke to an outside objective person such as a social worker it would help get through to her?
If you are interested in a social worker then contact her doctor and ask if a social worker could call you and you could explain the situation to her and then have her call or perhaps write your mom a letter.
Bottom line is that you can’t force her to receive treatment. To answer your question about what is legal, I have no idea. Do you have any authority to speak directly to her doctor concerning her care? Call and at least speak to him/her about your mom’s behavior.
Has your mom spoken to her doctors about ending treatment? You are totally correct that she has every right to not follow doctor's advice. However, she should speak to her doctor about this. If stopping treatment will lead to her death, what sort of a death is she looking at? A quick, peaceful, go-in-your-sleep death? Or a long, drawn out painful death? It's a reasonable question for her to ask her doctor.
If she declines further treatment, will that make her a candidate for hospice care? If so, and she is agreeable, I would strongly recommend she speak to them (hospice). They can help her manage her pain (if any) as well as other issues that arise as someone comes close to the end of their life. And just as important, hospice will give you some much needed support as well, which you might find helpful.
It's very hard to stand by and watch our parents decline. I wish you peace in this with your mom.