Should my parents buy a house and move now?

STMdog
The fact that all this came to light now is fortuitous.

Regardless of whether your parents stay where they are 700 miles away or move near you, it appears the new build is not a good idea.

The only rush at this point is to cancel the contract (if it makes financial sense) and give SDad a chance to recover until he can decide where he wants to live.

Does he have family besides your moms or will you be his caregiver when the time comes?

I don’t know the law about this in the USA, and it may vary in different states. But where I am, if Stepdad “put a contract on a new build house”, it would be enforceable.

We have our own personal troubles with a house build. Here, house prices have soared and then tumbled, while building material prices have just soared. This makes damages for getting out of a contract quite complex. Please check before you make decisions.

If you execute on the new house, that will kick off a lot of new problems - closing and selling previous house, the move, the ongoing issues with the move such as what to keep and pack and unpack, getting rid of the moving boxes and packing materials, etc. Then their disorientation as they settle in. Where will they shop? What is their new drugstore? How do you establish them with their new doctors, of which there will be several, when it may take three months to get them new patient appointments? Who decorates the house, which will presumably need draperies, pictures hung, and so on? Do they need a church? A house cleaner? Drivers license, vehicle registration, insurance and tags for a new state, and do you need to get their car inspected? Moving isn’t easy, especially if they can’t do much themselves. What if they miss their friends and neighbors? Will that be a burden on you if you have to supply all their social needs? You’d be taking on more than you would need to do to keep them happy. It would all be on you. If you can leave them where they are, you’re all likely to be better off. That’s what I would do,

If they are happy where they are and have a friends support network/group they would probably do better in AL/MC where they currently are. And you can "worry" about emergency visits if and when it comes up.
The other option with remaining where they are is finding caregivers that you/they can trust that may have to become 24/7 caregivers as both mom and dad decline if they remain in their house. (although with AL/MC living you do not have to worry about homeowners insurance, maintaining the house, electric bills, gas bills....)

That said though 700 miles is a distance that you have to travel if you need to be there for medical reasons for either of them. Would it be easier if they were in AL/MC closer to you?

And side note, if the New Build house was not built fully accessible I would not even bother with moving in, sell it if it has already been purchased. Do not complete the sale if it has not been done

Based on mom being in memory care i would say no.

Step dad needs to prepare for the real future where he may require assistance too and not the fantasy future this new house implies.

I would opt out if this house and be thankful this happened before they closed on the house and moved in.

I don’t see how the deal would work given the current cash needs for moms mc, let alone the fact stepdad would be separated from her and all his community.

I live in a large 55+ community. My answer is , that depends. I saw one lady who had moderate Alzheimers who kept asking neighbors to help for rides for groceries and small stuff. Come to find out her car sat in the garage for a year unregistered and one neighbor found that she was not eating much. Her house went on the market once the son was notified and threats to calling APS was next.

My neighbor who has familly living nearby has heart problems, including a bout with sepsis and needing a new valve. He is still here with neighbors occasionally helping him for minor things. His family had him sell off a lot of furniture so that he only uses 1 bedroom, a study and his living room only has a sofa and chair. So he downsized.

If dad can still walk, toilet and remembers to have meals, maybe the first step is Independent living where he goes to a community room for dinner and his laundry and light housekeeping is done once a week. His friends in the facility will notice if he does not show.

So maybe you need to find an in between living quarters where he really downsizes to an apartment for seniors. If you feel that he may have a rapid downhill slide, there are facilities with 3 to 5 levels of care. In that case a move would just occur in a different hallway and maybe the apartment configuration does not significantly change. Dad and mom could be in the same facility, just different levels of care.

For the COVID issue, just keep wearing masks. N95s are also not hard to find. Unfortunatly, this may go on for the rest of our lives.