Should my daughter be in bed so much?

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my daughter now 38 years old was in a car accident 12 years ago. she has a medium dai. (diffuse axon injury) as a result she spends about 21 hours a day in bed. I visit her as much as I can. she is bored to death. but the nursing home always seems to have a reason for her being in bed so long. I have tried and trie. does anyone have any ideas for me .
thanks

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Jeez. Talk about life being unfair! I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. No suggestions. Just best wishes and prayers.
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thanks jenne:my d aughter has gotten to the point where she likes to sit with the old women ; I think it's just for the company. if not she sits in her room or in her doorway. however it is difficult to have the staff allow her to sit with the older women because some of these women are not mentally fit and 'hang all over my daughter... this causes some problems .
our local hospital has a 'day recreation' program for peoope who do not live in a nursing home but for people who stay at their own homes and go to the hospital for recreation. my daughter however does not qualify for this.
her problem is that because she lives in a nursing home she receives all the benefits of living in a nursing home and no more. so she is treated like an old person.
fortuneatly my daughter did receive some insurance money not long ago. I am presently trying to hire a sitter to help me.
presently I take my daughter home 3x a week for the day. this is very very stressful. I am getting so stressed about my daughter at the nursing home ; that I am wondering if I could keep her home every day and take her back to the nursing home in the evenings. some people already told me that this is very very stressful and would put me in an early grave. I have no idea what to do Jeanne. thanks for your letter.
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This is very sad. My son was in a rehab facility for several weeks after an accident. In his early 40s he found the activities totally unappealing for him. He did strike up a few conversations with "old geezers" once they discovered they had something in common. But he mostly retained his sanity by being on computer, and by the knowledge that for him this was not permanent.

I feel very sorry for younger people who have to remain in a facility geared toward a couple of generations older than them!

Are there any facilities in the area that might be a better fit?

Are there even any day programs that might be suitable for a few hours some days a week?

What about hiring a companion for a few hours a day, to take her out in the sunshine, have "conversations" via the alphabet board, or just give her something to look forward to? Did the accident provide any kind of settlement that could be used to pay for use services?
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thanks veronica: I spoke with the activities people several times over the years. what it boils down to is:: if my daughter can't get involved in the activities they offer at the home there is nothing they can or will do to help my daughter. sometimes if I pester the activiites people enough they will do a small bit then we are back to nothing. my daughter can use an 'ipad' she has several games which she plays when I am visiting her. but that isonly 3-4 hours a day. thanks again veronica
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Talk to the activities directer and ask if there are any crafts she could do that might interest her. Even adult coloring books might prove an interest, or rug hooking, weaving knitting to mention a few.
I agree about the bingo, fiddle players not to mention square dancers. and anything else you might mention. Could she manage a computer, listen to music, learn an instrument or something similar.
You are right she should not be in bed for so many hours. She could be pushed out side in a wheelchair and enjoy the sunshine. that is something you could do .
Your daughter runs all sorts of health risks by remaining in bed so you do need to advocate for her. Don't just accept what the NH tells you if you don't think it is right...
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thanks for your answer. yes my daughter can commun icate. she uses an 'abc' board to spell and she can read. however she cannot hear or speak. one problem she has at the nursing home is that all the activities are 'geared' toward older people. my daughter does not like 'bingo' or fiddle players ha and there is nothing offered for her.it is a real concern for anyone in her position.
thanks
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Can your daughter walk? Is she able to be transferred?

Is your daughter unable to communicate?

If I spent 21 hours in bed I'd be bored to death too. She should be up and going to activities and being around other people. Have you discussed this with the facility?
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