Should my Mom (85) attend an outdoor wedding and reception in late August in Austin, TX? - AgingCare.com

Should my Mom (85) attend an outdoor wedding and reception in late August in Austin, TX?

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My mom was hospitalized for nearly four months with septic shock earlier this year. Nine days on a ventilator. Although she is making a good recovery - slow but steady - she's frail in a way that she wasn't before, and is often too hot or too cold.
We want to make an informed decision about her attending this wedding. She will have to fly across the country and will have only a day or two to get acclimated there before the wedding, then fly back home. My feeling is that her recovery is still underway and the August temps in Austin are beastly high - much hotter than she is used to. The focus will be on the bride and groom, as it should be, but knowing my Mom she will not tell anyone if she's not feeling well, the whole thing is out in the country, all outdoors, and if her body can't handle the high 90's into 100 degree temperatures it could be too late.

I would appreciate some advice on this - thanks!

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I wouldn't risk it. The downside is too high a price to "maybe" have to pay.
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The good news is that there are other options out there. Option where your mother can travel in comfort and safety with out dealing with the often scary issues of travel. There are medical motor homes that travel to events just like this, they are great! Your mom would have a hospital bed to lay on and a nurse to travel with her. The nurse can even go with her to the wedding if you wanted. The trip it's self would take more overall time than flying but she would have a rolling room equipped with a comfortable bed, couch, private restroom, kitchen and some amazing views to boot!
their website is medtransportcenter it is truly an amazing service from a top notch company! Happy travels!
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I love the "special day" after the wedding, if that is possible.

I also like the idea of streaming video. I don't know exactly how to do that, either, but you could probably find an eleven-year-old in the family that does. I viewed by granddaughter's distant wedding online, as it was happening. I just wish I'd thought to buy me piece or two of wedding cake to eat while watching it!
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Any air travel is stressful these days for anyone including an elder that may not be in tip top shape or recovering from an illness. So many things can go wrong - particularly when storms can delay flights for hours, changing gates, on and on.

My mom wants me to travel with her across the country to see my brother. I thought about it and have decided no way. She is 91 and hasn't flown in years. Although she sees it as a direct flight, there is arriving a few hrs in advance of flight, then hoping the plane isn't delayed or worse yet being trapped on the tarmack without food, water, then the tricky bathroom on a long flight. I could go on, but I wouldn't take an elder unless absolutely necessary or they can be accompanied both ways by a caregiver.

We also have a wedding coming up. I've decided that she will be happier to not be in a crowd of strangers, having to sit thru a long day, and for my sake; being able to enjoy my sons wedding without worrying over her or having her "only want to be with me". I've decided as others have posted to have the wedding couple visit afterwards, share pictures and make it a special day with her after the wedding.
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Linda22, back years ago I use to get pulled out of line on a regular basis for extra screening, mainly because I had an one-way ticket going from Dallas back to Washington D.C.

Eventually us frequent flyers learned the drill.... don't wear any metal [such as pants that have grommets or glued on metal decorations] .... don't put on anything that contains glycerin [hand lotions, face creams, etc].... don't bring on gift wrapped items as TSA might need to unwrap said item for a closer inspection... the TSA website has a list of what food items or perfumes and sizes you can bring in your checked suitcase [cannot be in carry-on]. It's all a learning process.
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Took Mom just an1-1/2 hour flight to see brother. Spent at least 4 hours waiting for a plane to show up. Hotel was new and different enviroment for mom, she couldn't find the light in bathroom, ended up peeing on floor since i didn't think of leaving a light on. Getting her to and from hotel wasn't too bad, but was it worth it? Well, it wasn't 100 degrees out either, so it wasn't bad. Keep mom safe at home.
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Enjoy the wedding, visit her with dvds photos, make a special day with Mom. Flights can be cancelled, delayed, don't put her through that. Go to her when you have the time.You can do a small revised march down the isle at her place :) She can be the flower girl...
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I know this is an extreme case - when my mom was in her late 80's, she was travelling cross country by air. She was in an airline wheelchair, wearing a full leg brace (polio as a kid) with leather padding at the top. She was escorted to a separate area out in the open while a newbie TSA agent patted her down. The girl freaked when she got to the leather, no doubt thinking this tiny woman was carrying contraband. They assured her it was ok and she moved on. Then the hand scanner picked up something evil from her hands - they scurried about looking very serious, speaking in hushed tones. By now, Mom is scared about more than missing her flight. After about 10 minutes of this, not talking to her, I got a bit testy and demanded that they at least reassure this lady. Turned out that their sniffer device was misreading her flipping hand lotion as something evil.
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There's also the issue of sitting for hours with the legs down and the possibility of older veins not handling that kind of pressure well. Disorientation is also a possibility because of so many changes in such a short time.

I had to fly from Michigan to Texas in either March or April (dont' remember for sure) to bring my parents back when my father went into CHF, and although we made it w/o incident, it was a real challenge.

Bathroom lines were long; both were in wheelchairs, we needed assistance just to make our connecting flight and almost missed it, and we did ankle pumps and lega raises on the plane on the way home to avoid coagulated blood in their older veins (and in my veins as well!).

Personally, I wouldn't take the chance. I was going to suggest what VegasLady suggested - either video stream or video the wedding and send a tape to your mother.

So many events are videoed these days. When my mother died in 2002, one of the church members videod the funeral, made copies for us, and we sent them to relatives.

Perhaps the happy couple could even set up a special time to call or Skype with your mother so she can personally share her greetings and best wishes for them. I think this would be a really personal touch for the couple and for your mother.

It'll be much more pleasurable than the disruption and stress of flying so far and back in such a short time.
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I think staying home is the best option. As well as the issues brought up by others, sitting on an airplane for the time it would take to fly across the country is not good because you can get blood clots. Is it that she really, really wants to go? A phone call from the bride and groom the day before and lots of pictures might help her feel better. Also, maybe you can plan for her to do something she really likes with a good friend that day.
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