I am executor for my Mom who passed in January and POA for my bonus (step) Dad. They wrote their Will 8 years ago and were married 38 years. My brother and I are noted in the Will as the beneficiaries. Our step-sister who has been estranged for several years due to poor life choices and only since the passing of our Mom has been resurfacing. While she is noted as his child in the Will, she is not noted as a beneficiary. I do suspect this will cause us some issues and likely be contested by her.
I am still in the process of taking my Mom's name off of accounts and putting them in our bonus Dad's name. This includes our Mom's Retirement account, IRA's, CD's and their house. I find this very intimidating that her name is being taken off of her assets etc...
Should we be worried if this is contested by step-sister? We are working with an elder law lawyer and I do have a phone conference set up with her for this week.
Also, my brother and I are not opposed to giving her some inheritance. Do others do this when a (step) sibling was not named as a beneficiary?
Thank you for your thoughts and advice
My husband was involved in a situation where his mom passed, he was executor, and she left all of her assets equally divided to her three children by two different husbands. She was divorced from both husbands. (Leaving out some of the complications here.) But the adult children from her ex-second-husband’s previous marriage got super mad because they believed she had duped him out of all his money while she and ex-second-husband were married, and tricked him into divorce and so these adult children felt like THEY in turn had been gypped. This grievance got them nowhere legally or financially, just led to permanent mutual bad feelings with my husband and his two siblings.
The big question is what will happen when your stepfather passes away. Does his will say to divide his assets between you and your sibling and leave nothing to his child from a previous marriage? That seems seems like the wrinkle (for your stepdad to give nothing to his own child) but it’s not that uncommon.
Keep working with your lawyer step by step. You can’t control what Unstable Stepsibling thinks or does, but you can follow legal advice and do everything according to the will which will protect you — and accomplish your mom’s and stepfather’s wishes.
My Rude Aunt sued me over administration of dad's estate, of which I was executor. It was only to intimidate and stir up trouble as she always has, and her suit cost the estate thousands to defend. This eventually meant less money for my mother, and Rude Aunt hated my mother. The judge threw the case out of court because it was clearly bogus and easily proven so by the estate attorney. So yeah, stepsister could come up with some ridiculous and unfounded claim, but not unless she has a lawyer who is willing to help her do that.
What I don't under stand is when Dad dies everything reverts back to you. Is the step not in her Dads will? How does his Will read to protect what originally was your Moms.
I am not sure that it does read in a way to protect my mom's assets. It is my understanding that because he is my mom's beneficiary, All that was hers- is now his. When he passes, it sounds like we have no choice but to go through the probate process, which opens the door, I believe, to all he has, including my mom's assets (Now his). Although my brother and I are the beneficiaries, we are worried that even through she has been the estranged child for years, she can now come back and contest to Will.
They both chose the other one as their beneficiary. (With my mom passing first, Anything belonging to my her, now goes to dad.) When he passes, to my brother and I.
There is a $1 clause to anyone who tries to contest it. I am not sure how this works. I have been told that it doesn't always stand.
Bottom Line, I think you should:
1. Make sure the will is clear and valid
2. If so, follow it.
If wayward stepsibling complains, you can then say you are carrying out mom’s wishes as you are legally required to do. (What wayward sibling should really be asking is what is in HIS will?)
To answer your question, my husband was executor twice and both times, people claimed they had been cheated but both times, he followed the wills. One of those times, he and one of his siblings ended up using most of what they inherited to establish a special needs trust for an elderly and disabled stepparent to be used to pay for assisted living. Their choice. Likely not what their mom would have wished.
They both chose the other one as their beneficiary. (With my mom passing first, Anything belonging to my her, now goes to dad.) When he passes, to my brother and I.
There is a $1 clause to anyone who tries to contest it. I am not sure how this works. I have been told that it doesn't always stand.
It’s sounds like mom had a “pour over” will. So whatever she had poured over to her spouse / your bonus Dad. And that is what you seem to be helping him do….. helping pour/move mom’s assets over to him.
If his will was like hers & it too pours over to your mom, it kinda becomes time for him to do an update to that old will of his. He does a codicil to his will. & ASAP. The atty who is guiding y’all in your mom’s Estate stuff can do this for him. To me - in my NAL opinion - it is important that he does this. He does a codicil and in it has something to the effect that “if Lil Nasty should contest this, she shall get $1.00”. The atty will know how it should read for what works in your State on this.
As your his POA, it would be good to have the atty also glance over at any other legal bonus dad may have done in the past. Also you as his POA do a recheck on all his banking so that mom’s signature is removed and that you are a cosignature on all his accounts and do online banking access so you can track it. Make sure the bank is absolutely 100% ok on if you write a check on his account a ddoonkine access. He may need to sit independently of you with a bank officer while they go over all this. Personally I would not have him use a debit card but instead have a credit card to use for all his shopping stuff. You can get one as well tied to it as an authorized user. You may not need to use it now but eventually that will happen as he ages. Debit cards can be easily for the unscrupulous to find out what the pin is…. So if Lil Nasty is visiting her dad, she could find it and use it. Can’t do that easily with a credit card and get away with it.
please try to get all this done soon & stay active in his life. A fresh widower can be an oh-so-easy mark for the unscrupulous in this world.
I am very close to my Bonus Dad, taking him to all appointments and spending 1-2 days together each week. He is lonely and missing my Mom and really appreciates getting out of his adult care home and going for drives and out for lunch too.
In your situation, your Moms Will probably mentioned her bio children. There was no need to mention her step child and the stepchild, IMO, can't contest because Mom is not her parent. Even if there was no Will, stepsister would not be in line for an inheritance.
Now Mom is gone, Dad will probably need to make a new Will once everything is put in his name fully. If he does not want his daughter to inherit, then he needs to say why in his Will. He can leave her a small amount saying if she tries to contest, she gets nothing.
Your Moms Will has nothing to do with a stepdaughter. IMO, she has no grounds to contest. She is not blood related to your Mom.
Much at this point would rest on just how your step father's will reads. If he SPECIFICALLY disinherits his own progeny, and if you are executor of his will, and he stipulates that you stand to inherit, then you would WIN any contest. However, money and assets inherited would stand to pay for a fight in court. Hopefully the will stipullates that court costs will ALL be paid by the loser in any contest of the will.
Again, everything now rests on how well written the documents are.
Either way, step sister can contest the will in probate court and the court will decide if she is entitled to anything. I would strongly advise getting an attorney.
I would also stop moving assets into the dad’s name if you and your brother are beneficiaries. Again, you need some professional legal guidance here. I wish you luck.
FYI if you are the PoA, this role ends the moment your stepFather dies. Did he name an Executor? The Executor doesn't have any power to change the Will either, but has to follow laws and put the estate (what's left of it) through probate once he passes.
If your stepFather is able, he can make you and your brother beneficiaries on accounts (bank and IRA accouts, life insurances, etc). This is done within each asset and investment and not in his Will.
He can put your names on the house title (but this may have implications if he ever needs Medicaid, and creates a tax exposure for you). Then during probate, only whatever does not have a beneficiary will be available to inherit through the Will. But this is really a question your stepFather needs to ask a certified elder law attorney.
If your stepFather is too far gone cognitively to change his Will, then it will have to stand as is until he passes.
The expectation of inheritances can cause people to make some very poor caregiving decisions.
Regarding your step-sister, my suggestion would be to deal with distribution according to the will. When that is all settled, you and your brother can give her a present if you wish. That makes it clear that it is a gift, not an entitlement.