My 94 year old MIL recently came to live with us after fracturing her hip. She had surgery and rehab. Until recently she actually lived on her own. She's been doing fine - going to the bathroom on her own, I helped her shower just last night, and she's been sitting in the living room with us watching TV and joining in conversation.
She eats little to begin with, but I've noticed yesterday and today so far she seems weaker and has refused food, although she had some tea. (My husband is currently out of town so I am with her while I work from home.)
My question is should I, for lack of a better word, "allow" her to refuse food? I'm not sure how I could force her to eat, but should I try to spoon feed her? I have some really good soup that I think she would like, but when I ask her if she's hungry she almost gets angry and tells me no. She hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Currently, it is after 10:00 a.m. the next day. And she went to bed at 7:30 last night and so far has only gotten up to go to the bathroom. (My office is also the guest room that she is in so I am sitting with her.)
To be honest, I have a weird feeling inside. I wouldn't have been surprised to see that she had passed overnight. This is all new to me, any advice would be appreciated.
You surely should OFFER anything you know she loves, perhaps easy to take puree, high protein puddings, and etc. You surely may think now to contact the MD and discuss palliative care and Hospice support if you wish.
But no, I would NEVER under any circumstances, force anyone to eat, against their own will. And at minimum, you could be looking at choking food into the lung and death due to aspiration pneumonia.
It is time to have discussions about end of life with your MIL, your family, her doctor.