How do I control the Walmart addiction to conserve assets? I want to do the right thing. Dementia is progressing and I have DPOA for Dad & Step. They currently reside in their own condo in a senior community. Physically Dad is healthy and could go 10-15 more years. Step is much more feeble and refuses knee surgery to increase mobility and is age 86. We are spending ~$1,500 more a month than they receive paying for caregivers part time during the day and all night. Step has a Walmart addiction that is not helping and is angry that Dad is sick and costing them so much money (with caregivers and medication for PD). I get it but he can't help it. The deficit is being taken from an equity line with a 10 year draw that currently only requires an interest payment. At the end of the 10 years in 2023, payments for the interest and loan will begin. They also have a small IRA that is providing $1,200 a month without diminishing the principal that is in Dad's name only. Step had one also but she cashed it out and distributed it to a step-sibling a while ago.
I'm considering placing their condo in my name using the DPOA and including a provision for lifetime rights with stipulations. If I tell the folks, Step will sound the alarm to her kids that I'm "stealing", when actually I'm trying to preserve the estate. If Step passes first, Dad will either move to AL or NH as I won't subject my marriage to any more than it has already endured. I want to protect the assets due to the 5 year lookback. Condo is in Dad's name only and Will provides a 4 way split on their estate, once they are both gone. Is there a way to write it up that it is in my name now while protecting the step-siblings so they won't freak out? Also, how do I control the Steps out of control spending at Walmart so the equity line isn't exhausted before the 10 year draw is up. We are also using it to pay yearly property tax on the condo ~$3k. I have been handling their finances for years now but step-sibling can look into the account so they don't say anything. I'm the only one with my name added to the checking.
I'm worried sick that A)the money will run out too soon and B) we aren't going to be able to pay it back when it's due. I paid for one meeting with an elder care attorney ($300 for one hour!) and intend to visit him again. But I'd like to be able to offer any suggestions that you can provide. Thank you for your help!