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dedaughter Asked June 2019
Should I tell my Mom who has advanced Alzheimer's that my dad recently passed?
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My 91 year old Mom is confined to bed in a nursing home and has advanced Alzheimer's disease. When my Dad recently passed my brothers and I decided not to tell Mom after consulting with several professionals. She would not have been able to attend the funeral. She was confused when he was brought to her by medical transport the night before he passed according to his wishes. She thought he was her father. Now I am wondering if this was the right decision and also concerned that if I do tell her would will push her over the edge.
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Jessica40 Jun 2019
No, don't tell her. If she has any recall it will just hurt her over and over. If she asks where he is, make up a white lie. I'm sorry about your dad.
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cwillie Jun 2019
No, let it be. If any small part of her still retains the ability to understand she will already know because of his final visit.
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Sunnygirl1 Jun 2019
I'm sorry about the loss of your father, but, I'm wondering what would be gained by giving your mother this news, especially, after professionals have advised against it. People with dementia, after a certain point, aren't able to properly process information. So, while it might upset and confuse her, she wouldn't likely remember it. So, I don't see the point of causing that pain or confusion.
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