Ok I have a question. I just found out by searching online that my 63 year old brother died. In 1994, a few months after my dad died, my middle older brother blew off the whole family. I do have another brother, the first born also. I don’t know what happened if he had a falling out with my brother or mom. She can’t figure it out but I think maybe older brother probably had some words with him over something or asked for money,etc.. and he was gone. This was now 28 years ago. My older brother tried contacting him for a few years while he still lived in our state but he wouldn’t respond. A few years later he moved out of state I’m guessing due to his job, and also remarried. My older brother found that out from googling. A few years ago I looked online and figured if I can find a phone number maybe I will talk to him just to say hi. He had absolutely no beefs with me (I was his younger sister by 10 years) anyway no luck. There was no pictures or info on him at all other then addresses he lived at or phone numbers that were old. Very strange. Anyway I decided to Google again yesterday and finally something came up and wasn’t expecting it. An obituary with his picture and drum set (he was a drummer and software engineer) which he died 4 days ago. I’m a bit sad even though he blew us all off I remember being a kid and having the best time with him.
Now the question is do I tell my mother? Yes she was upset over the years especially in the beginning after my dad died, I think It took a long time for her to accept it. What is my role now that I have this information? It is her son and I feel she should know. My older daughter says not to tell her so I’m not sure what to do and and would like other peoples opinion on this...
My mom has been in rehab the past month. She is doing ok with her rehab after she had a fall 6 weeks ago. She got injections in her knee to help get her around and is doing the therapy and everything they ask of her. I’m not sure how much longer she will be there or what the end result is going to be. She seems fine mentally no dementia or anything that I can tell. Any advice would be appreciated.
If your brother had no beef with you why did he not contact you?
Did your brother have a family? How do you or would you feel if you extended the family? Your mom may have grandkids that she would want to know.
IF your mom had dementia my answer would be completely different. I would say no you do not tell her.