You haven't provided any information. How do you know she has dementia? Has a neurologist determined that? Do you suspect that? Has she undergone a comprehensive evaluation; an MMSE test? Bloodwork to rule out anytreatable conditions? an MRI or CAT scan? If that's all been done and dementia is determined, why didn't the dr. tell her? I think it's immoral for a dr. to put the onus on the family. If she hasn't been seen by a neurologist, that's your first step.
Would you tell her if she had cancer? Heart disease? MS? I'm sure you would. Rather, I'm sure the doctor would. Once diagnosed. a treatment regimen would begin. But those diseases don't have the stigma that dementia has. And because of that, and the fact that most dementias have no treatment or cure, some doctors don't have the guts to tell the patient, afraid of the reaction by the patient and/or family.
I'm sorry this obligation has been placed on you but yes, you should tell her. Many people live a fruitful life in the early stages. Encourage her and support her to live as normal life as she can.
My Luz ask me "what is wrong with me" and I told her. She seemed to understand at that time. Who knows what she knew months later. I do know that later she would come to me for hugs and such. I like to think that it helped both of us to take care of her. She was never difficult with me. Still she did things that did not work like they should, like pouring a cu of coffee. But we worked around all of them . Some times we would cry together or just hug and I would tell her it was okay and I would take care of it. And I did.
My mother asks me if she acts like she has dementia. The fact she ASKS makes me know she has more lucid moments.
I say "Well, we all have memory issues, mom, I know it's frustrating. Maybe you should bring this up with the dr."
She never does, and we just deal with her fairly gently....yes, she has some level of cognitive dissonance, but what's the point of telling her she has it and it's noticeable? She forgets as soon as you say something.
Yet she makes fun of those people she knows who do obviously suffer from a higher level of dementia, like the fact she can do a puzzle makes her 'better' than them. That's the only part of her memory lapses I can't handle.
Yes, though if she is not aware of it, she also may not remember after you've told her. The world can get very confusing to her, so a calm explanation will help her realize what is happening. Everyone is different with this, so be prepared that she may not believe you.
Yes. Honesty is best. I would do this with your Doctor. My brother was aware of his probable early Lewy's Dementia diagnosis. He said that while he was not happy with the fact of it, he was happy to have the information if this is what he would have to deal with, and relieved to know the ways in which his b rain perceived the world differently.
You should be truthful with your mother about what is known, yes, if that's what you mean. It is her information, after all, and her life that's affected.
But if you'd like to say more about the situation you're faced with, perhaps we can suggest how to put it so that she benefits from the knowledge and isn't frightened by it.
Would you tell her if she had cancer? Heart disease? MS? I'm sure you would. Rather, I'm sure the doctor would. Once diagnosed. a treatment regimen would begin. But those diseases don't have the stigma that dementia has. And because of that, and the fact that most dementias have no treatment or cure, some doctors don't have the guts to tell the patient, afraid of the reaction by the patient and/or family.
I'm sorry this obligation has been placed on you but yes, you should tell her. Many people live a fruitful life in the early stages. Encourage her and support her to live as normal life as she can.
I like to think that it helped both of us to take care of her. She was never difficult with me. Still she did things that did not work like they should, like pouring a cu of coffee. But we worked around all of them . Some times we would cry together or just hug and I would tell her it was okay and I would take care of it. And I did.
I wish you the best.
I say "Well, we all have memory issues, mom, I know it's frustrating. Maybe you should bring this up with the dr."
She never does, and we just deal with her fairly gently....yes, she has some level of cognitive dissonance, but what's the point of telling her she has it and it's noticeable? She forgets as soon as you say something.
Yet she makes fun of those people she knows who do obviously suffer from a higher level of dementia, like the fact she can do a puzzle makes her 'better' than them. That's the only part of her memory lapses I can't handle.
But if you'd like to say more about the situation you're faced with, perhaps we can suggest how to put it so that she benefits from the knowledge and isn't frightened by it.