Mom is 65 and suffers from a lot of things. Should I take care of her when the time comes?

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She has COPD, high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis and a heart problem.

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It's a personal choice. I take care of other seniors and worked in a nursing home. After working there I promised my parents I would take care of them. It's a hard decision to make. Many questions you need to ask yourself. There is help and support when that time comes, do what you feel you can.. Not everyone can do it due to other obligations, and saying I can't is not a bad thing..
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Out of 7 siblings, I was the one to care for Mom. For me is what the most gratifying selfless act I've done in my life. Of course, the decision was mine. I have to say that those last years with her I had the opportunity to know a person, a woman that had a very complex life. I learned things about her that I never knew. I would never change those 5 years of my life with her. But like a lot of people say here, do what's in your heart. Do it because you want to...
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I think by just posting this question, you have some worries or doubts in your mind about attempting to care for your mom. I have to tell you that dealing with my Mom has become one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. I went into this wanting to be there for mom to be her champion and take care of her as she took care of me. Dementia has robbed me of my mother and I now find myself in a situation that I wish to God I was not in. This has gone on for 7 years with my mother and prior to that it was my father. I am exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. Mom's doctor recently told me to put her in a NH, that I could not handle this situation alone, I would fail, I would hate myself and I would wind up sick myself. He is right but I have been doing this for 7 years and I just can't bring myself to do it because she is still lucid at many times and seems somewhat "normal." At other times she drives you nuts and you feel like calling someone to come and get her.

If you can give up your life and you are willing to, and if you can get help from other siblings on a consistent basis or if you have money to hire in home help, then go ahead and try it. If you have any doubts or fears I would not even attempt to care for her but visit her very often in a living facility.
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I have a different opinion. My goodness, your mother is only 65 years old. She barely is eligible for Medicare. I would definitely not be bringing up this subject yet or setting down anything that could be misconstrued as a plan of action for her care. Your mother is young and should be making her own plans for an independent life that does not burden her children. If you start talking caregiving, she will just assume that she can count on that.

When the time comes, whatever happens will happen. Maybe you will be in Paris and not want to fly home. May she marries rich and should be putting away for that retirement village. My aunt took care of her son for over twenty years who had Aides. When he passed she was in her late 70's and decided it was time she could find someone. She met a wonderful man to enjoy her golden years and has a nice life with security. Do not make any decisions or put worries on yourself at your young age. Live your life and have fun. Expect from your mom that she strive to be independent. That way she will be a world more independent than if you let her know that you expect from her to be dependent on you. I do not know why you are asking this now, maybe she is preparing you for her use "when the time comes." If so, don't let her.
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Excuse me, but "placing them" is NOT easier on us, but harder on us. Get it right
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It seems that placing them is easier on us, we can let others do the caregiving. But so many different thing come into play that need to be considered. You could always try it for awhile, but make sure you have a backup plan, just in case that can be implemented within a day or two. While she is not having significant immediate problems try it for a week or two where ever the caregiving will be done, your home, hers? That will at least give you an idea as to whether it will work for you.

I love this, the spellchecker on my HP touchpad, don't buy one, corrects caregiving to sacrificing. It is so appropriate, I wonder if it is intentional.
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I'd advise against it. It is so much worse than we can imagine that, if you have any choice, place her, but be her advocate and love her, but don't get taken down with her.
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I couldn't take care of Mom. She is difficult, at best. 65 is young. She could live 30 years. How old will you be then?
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If you don't is there anyone (or any institution) that will?
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One more thought on sibling involvement. If they do not help, are not willing to help, it could potentially destroy your relationships with them. Make sure if you decide to do this you consider whether you are willing to do it for no compensation which will benefit your siblings at the time your mom dies if there are assets involved. What your mom wants is primary and document everything.
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