I went back to work in September part time because staying home with my mother who has Vascular Dementia was getting to me. Now she has gotten worse and hospice comes in to help some. She falls a lot and can’t really talk that much. My husband cares for her while I’m working. But I feel like that’s not fair to him since she is my mother.
I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?
Have you consulted with a Medicaid specialist , or eldercare lawyer ?
If she has assets use that to pay for her care in skilled nursing until she runs out and then she goes on Medicaid.
If she doesn't qualify financially for Medicaid, great! That means she has assets and can pay for her own memory care. Sell her house if she has one, cash in her savings accounts, and get the professional care that your mother needs and deserves.
Did you actually go through the Medicaid application process? Or are you assuming she won't qualify? If you did apply, on what grounds did she not qualify? Financially or medically, or both?
Please consider seeking an Elder Waiver through your county's social services. Or a QIT (Qualified Income Trust) to get her to qualify financially.
And also consider hiring some hourly help to give you or your husband a break.
Most likely her mother won’t even know where she is soon , or maybe she already doesn’t know where she is .
Your mother needs to go into a NH.
What has he said to you when you tell him what you told us?