This has been going on since 2020 and slowly gotten worse. Mom is being romance scammed. Is in charge of her own money. Has been in a homeless shelter early 2025. This particular shelter recignzied a physicans note she had that stated she needed bedrest and couldn't leave daily like most shelters require(that is how she lasted so long there). She has never been homeless in her life so that was a shock to find out. The shelter was setting her up with an apt that she could afford. She gets a decent amount monthly from SSD. The Day before signing the lease she fled to Illinois to meet her scammer. That obviously didn't happen but she had no plan or money. So she ended up facing homeless again. I panicked and flew her to my state and for a hotel stay. She has issues with bathing, cleanliness, alcohol use and opioid dependency im a 35 year old single mom who cannot have my child around that. While here in my state I did her laundry, grocery shopping, driving to appointments, cleaning etc. We found an affordable apt for her and were planning to get home health aid in to help since i also work full time. The day before she signed that lease she fled back to Illinois. She has run out of money each month facing homelessness and or has ended up in rehab due to falls. She passed the slums dementia test with mild impariement. The doctors in illinois do not think she needs a guardian but this is not normal behavior for her. She is a frail 75 year old who has frequent falls and seizures who is facing homelessness monthly. I have spoken to social workers and guardianship hotlines and they just say sometimes it needs to get worse before it gets better. But its winter and if mom ends upHomeless and outside she will literally not make it. What can I do to help her? I had a consult with an attorney but I fear taking on the role of conservator and im afraid they wont see a need for guardianship for her. Taking any and all advice. TIA
You can do what your mother never could, which is to put the needs of your child over her wants and needs. You and your child are your priority, and by attempting to control a mentally ill, demented addict there's nothing to win and everything to lose.
Maybe she needs rehab first. How long has she been an alcoholic? If long enough then maybe she has Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome. Regardless, you can't have her recovery for her. She has to want it and do it. Maybe she's beyond that now.
Even if you gained conservatorship or guardianship, you still can't physically keep her from running away. I would press social services and the courts to assign her a 3rd party legal guardian. Your first priority is to your child and self. You can't help your Mom if you're broke and burnt out from chasing her around. Court guardianship is the only sustainable solution.