Should I move half way across the world to support parents with recent cancer diagnosis?

Can you tell me what the primary cancer is? It makes a good deal of difference. If lung and not operable you are looking at shorter time. If pancreatic it could be a VERY short time. All of this makes a difference.
I myself would not move back from across the world for my stepfather; you have your life, your mate, your job I assume. I would pay what visits I was able, say every three months if you can possibly swing this.
Is there other family to support your Mum? Or good friends?
Only you can make this decision. It's a tough one. My own parents would not have wanted me to disrupt my entire life were they suffering such a diagnosis; but that was how I was raised. I am certain visits would have been treasured as this is definitely end of life diagnosis.
Only you can really decide for yourself. This is a hard decision. Chemo can sometimes buy time, but often not a lot over what the expectations are statistically. I think that the doctor is hedging and could likely provide more valuable advice in terms of months or years. But that is only a guess on my part. I wish you luck. This is a difficult decision.

I don't envy you having to work out the timing of your return. If it were me, I would weigh out going "too soon" (but being there for the entirety of his health journey) against not going "soon enough" (and possibly missing some profound time together) -- and which of those 2 would cause me the most regret. May you receive peace in your heart.

" My mum immediately said she would never expect me to drop everything and move home and that the decision is entirely up to me".

You can wait to go until you are needed.

"leaving behind my time abroad" Not sure what this means. Are you on green card and lose that statis if you move where parents live?

I read your reply where u really don't like your job and fiance and you
planned on moving near parents in the next year or two anyway. So what's keeping you from doing it now? It seems you want to be there for StepDad and Mom. Seems there is nothing keeping you here. Fiance can join you later if he needs to "tie things up". So, you do what you feel like u need to. But I too suggest that if/when fiance joins you, you live by yourselves.

Do what you want to do. Your mom is understanding that it is your life.

Speak to your fiancé. Take time to make a decision that is right for you.

Best wishes to you.

I suggest you and fiance live Near them, Not with them. You can be there, and still have your space. Find a job, build your life, while checking in to visit. Don't get stuck, set boundaries.

Wish you the best

"Am I crazy to jump to such fast conclusions?" Talk with your partner.. your mom and be there for all of them..
so before you leave your job... make sure you have another lined up... somewhere.. if need be..

After looking at your post... NEED TO TALK WITH LO AND PARENTS... Perhaps LO would want to go with you... PERHAPS loved one could relocate and find another job nearby...
If you are in it together.. work it out... somehow...l

Cancer Spread Through Body....
Chemo may give him more time here... but What About The Quality?

Close Friend Just talked to me tonight... Her LO has tongue cancer and it's all about.... He Is Older.... So how does radiation and chemo feel in the throat? Not Good, from another friend told me.... It was LiKe You are Burning From the Outside-IN.

Not sure what your LO cancer is... and I have been around the block a few times.... ..
This is not easy to say... When God or Higher Self calls you UP... go...
Liver Cancer, Pancreatic Cancer, Lung Cancer... Brain cancer, "Cervical Type" cancer... Lymph cancer, bone cancer,..... if it gets in the blood... blood travels to all organs.... Make Peace... Be there for you LO's who are there... take time to visit....
As one of my Lo's told me: THESE BODIES ARE NOT MADE TO LAST ..
He believes / believed in the Bible,,,, and he was good... I too believe Are Spiritual... I BELIEVE ... in a Higher being.. God, spiritual...
All knowing.... we here on Earth, and these bodies are just a moment...
Just know You Loved One's Base Line is Now. Your Loved One's Best Moment in this time is Now.. The body Now, is the New Base Line.. It will NOT IMPROVE... THIS IS THE BEST THIS BODY WILL BE... it's not going to get better. An ER doctor told me this with my LO.. Every time you visit the ER,,, this will be the new baseline...

geez... I was just told... everyday... this is the new baseline for me.... from this day forward.... This is the Best I will Be.... If I go to the ER... Or If I am at Home, work or play... TODAY IS MY NEW BASELINE..... The ER DOC did not mean it that way, but when you get to a certain age... It Becomes More Realistic.
Do not put your plans in the holding pattern... Every Body Has a Time Limit...
Understand that... when you can... I have more LO's in Heaven, than I do on Earth..... please don't judge me... this is what I have experienced...
Prayers Are With You... Good Luck.... Take your fiance with you to visit... They should understand.

Just Know You Cannot Live without an organ...blood travels... if it is in the lymph nodes... it has spread.... that is one of the portals for blood to travel...

Bijou, the mobile world can be difficult for all of us to manage. Where should we be when our hearts pull us in more than one direction? How do you keep all the love-threads intact?

I read a lot of history, especially Australian history. When people came to Oz before or after 1800, it was usually for life. The rich could afford a couple of trips back to England, though the sea trip was dangerous and took over 3 months each way. Further down the social scale, if you went back, it was for good. The letters that migrants wrote back home to describe their new homes and lives are heartbreaking in their acceptance that they just couldn’t explain what it was like - they mostly talk about the vegetables they can grow. Their families back there fully understood that they would never see them again.

These days (at least before Covid) going back and forth is much more possible. I did it 3 times, my daughter has done it far more. Everyone wants it all – to keep their culture and their ties from home, but to be fully accepted in the new place as well. My daughter’s husband wants their son to feel both Irish and Australian. I’m not sure that it’s possible.

Sometimes you have to accept that you cannot live in two places at once. This doesn't help your dilemna, but perhaps gives you a historical perspective. And sometimes we find that the world hasn't changed as much as we thought. Just do your best! You can't 'win 'em all'. It’s yet another ‘least worst’ situation!

Thanks so much to all of you who have replied so quickly! In a way I am very fortunate as the weight wouldn't be entirely on my shoulders but rather supporting my mum in whatever is to come. They are both in their early 60s so moving back wouldn't mean I would have to sit at home and take care of them full time as my mum is fully independent and for the time being my stepdad is too. We have a lot of family and friends around as well and my actual dad is also not far away so I would always have a place to escape to when I would need a break. I would basically move back, settle in and find a new job. My partner and I were planning to move over in 1-2 years anyway so that's why to me it doesn't seem to be such a big deal. But yes, the biggest issue is not knowing for how long this would be - it can be 6 months, 12 months, 18...who knows. And on top of that, the pandemic doesn't make it any easier.

You wouldn’t be going to “help during a difficult time”. You would be moving back there. Moving away. For months or maybe years. Leaving fiancé, work, pretty much your whole life behind. And they all might not be here anymore for you when you came back. How much could you really help them there, besides moral support?

I was in a similar situation a few years back. I am an only child who lived on the west coast and had two parents on the east coast that I instinctually felt needed by help. I moved back to the east coast and 3 months later mom was hospitalized with a nearly fatal septic infection. This resulted in me taking in both my parents. Fast forward to now they are both on hospice. My life is hell and there is no where else I would rather be. I couldn't live with myself knowing I wasnt here to help them. This is the hardest most important thing I have ever done. They only have me so I knew crystal clear it had to be me. I am 41, not in a relationship, and live in the same country. We are in different places in life. I want to tell you to be young and experience the world but if you will be guilt ridden it's not worth it. If your heart calls you home listen to it. I don't know if you have any help but keep in mind that it could be a one way ticket for awhile.

go be with your parents . you will never regret it .

My suggestion is seemingly opposite the first answer you received. My thinking is about the motivation you appear to have, to help your parents.

If they aren’t saying, “Don’t come,” and if you aren’t thinking, “I’d rather not go,” ... then why not go? Imagine yourself in a timeline of each scenario — before, during, and beyond. Down the road, after 6 months or 6 years, are you more likely to regret that you didn’t go to them now; or are you more likely to regret that you went?

Your mom wants you to live your life. There is no way of knowing what will happen with the pandemic. That could get you stuck there. Step dad may get better then what? There must be resources for help where ever they are.

You are very sweet to want to help out, you are young, live your life. Time away could be relatively short, or very long. Travel could be locked down again, especially to other countries. If you are unhappy in your job, look for another one and do not use that as rationale to go help your folks. Stay home and check on folks regularly.