When I first decided that an Alf was the best solution, with help from this forum, she could use her walker and wheelchair to get around. After a fall and ER visit where multiple tests were run, her doctor recommended hospice. She is now bedridden and sleeps most of the day. I visit twice a day to feed her lunch and dinner.
She begged me to take her to my house which I can’t do. She can’t get up by herself and I can’t lift her by myself. I stayed last night sleeping on an uncomfortable couch. She slept through the night and basically slept through me feeding her oatmeal. She is scheduled for a shower today so that should wake her up! She will resist but I think if I’m not here she will cooperate.
She is basically left alone all day and if she is awake very lonely. I can’t spend all day every day with her. She does make me feel guilty when I leave and when I tell her I can’t care for her in my home. Last night I told her if she continues to say I don’t want her or I’m throwing her away and she never thought her only daughter would be like that, I tell her I’m not going to stay and listen to that. Last night she stopped saying it but will likely say it again.
I think she is lonely and wants someone around to listen to her. In a nursing home she'd have a roommate and hopefully more attention from the nurses. I’ve been told she doesn’t have much time left and even said it would likely be 1-2 weeks so I hesitate to move her. She has outlasted that prognosis which really doesn’t surprise me. She always does things her way.