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My single daughter plans to leave her money to a charity that takes care of animals and not to her brother or his two daughters. She has never been close to her brother and hasn't seen them in years although we all live in same city. That's because she chooses to work on every holiday and almost all weekends--she is an RN in a psychiatric hospital. Right now all of her spare time goes to the care of her father, from whom I was divorced 48 years ago. He has been in nursing home with Lewy Body dementia for over 2 years. My son goes to visit his day on Father's Day and birthdays, that's all. The two kids will split any money left over when their father dies--he has about $1 million in stocks, which probably won't last more than 10 years at current rates, but surely he won't last that long--he is 84 and in good health except for the dementia. He can't walk or even sit up for long unassisted, but he can feed himself. Whatever money is left after he dies will go to our two children.


I myself may develop dementia as I carry an ApoE4 gene, and at 81 am constantly misplacing keys, cell phone, and having hard time remembering names. My question is, should I leave money (providing I have any!) to both my son and daughter knowing that if she dies (she is very overweight, never sees a doctor and has arthritis in one knee) all money goes to animal shelter? I do intend to leave something for my niece (to whom I am closer than I am to my kids) but not to my younger sister, who says she is leaving nothing to her daughter, my niece, from whom she is estranged. My sister's husband is an MD and they are fairly well off. I am re-writing my will etc next week but don't know yet who I really want to be financial POA. My daughter is definitely the one to make my medical decisions since she is RN and will definitely honor my request for no feeding tubes, etc. My thought is to make them both financial POA in event I am incapacitated. For executor of the will it doesn't matter if they are joint (but able to act without the other's permission) since all of the big bucks have named beneficiaries.

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APO€4 gene really is highly overrated. Some people have it and do not develop dementia, some people without it do develop dementia.

Your daughter's assets are her business and hers alone. You control yours and yours alone. Son should plan on setting up trusts for his kids if that is something he wants to do and not hope for your daughter to setup her nieces.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Arleeda, if your daughter has a passion for saving animals then let her give whatever money she has left over when she passes. Without people leaving money to charities in their Wills, the charities would be hurting big time.

Oh by the way, billionaires Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerburg, and Bill Gates plan to leave their fortunes to charity, not to their child(ren).

Oh, don't worry about forgetting names. By the time we are seniors, we have million of names to remember compared to back when we were in our 20's. Thus, it takes us a bit longer to remember those names. That Rolodex is full !!

As for phones, thank goodness I have those old fashioned landlines, can't misplace them :) Next time you put down your cellphone/keys just say out loud where you are putting the cellphone/keys. It will help you remember.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Once you give someone something, what they do with it is their business. What is so bad about donating to a charity? Your daughters plans should have nothing to do with your decision. There’s really no way to know if, at the time of her death, any of the money received from you, will still be left.

You arent obligated to leave ANYONE anything when you die.

Your daughter isn’t obligated to leave ANYONE anything when she dies. Quite frankly it’s none of your business what she leaves to anyone and you have no say in the matters they are her assets. What is your business is what you do with your own assets......
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Reply to worriedinCali
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