Two weeks ago I moved Mom into AL but Dad refused to go to the doctor in order to be admitted with her. Mom had done okay in AL by herself, but was very confused, calling me all the time, asking where everyone was, etc. After a few days in the apt alone, Dad relented and went to the doctor,and a few days later he move in. Done deal, great I thought, things were looking up. Now Mom loves it there, but Dad is poisoning her with his delusional talk of driving back to Utah and finding another place to live. She just called me a minute ago and asked if they could "get out" of the AL deal. She said she doesn't like it, its too small, she wasn't part of the decision, etc I could hear dad in the background telling her what to say. Now I'm not sure if they can be together. I hate to split them up as they have been married 65 years, but Dad is an absolutely hateful madman to me (because I won't give him his truck or guns), but of course nice to the staff and other residents (so far). The doctor that filled out the report for the AL, agreed to prescribe Depakote sprinkles for Dad, but the nurse at the facility wanted to wait a week or so to see how he adjusted naturally. UGH.
I'm a mess and it's all on me. I told Mom we'd talk about it tomorrow (the light of day is always better), but if she insists do I just ignore their requests hoping they will come around or wait until my Dad drives my Mom completely over the edge. She may be there already. I've been tempted to just give Dad the truck keys (hasn't driven in 6 years with no license) and say "go for it!" I know I can't do that in reality but I'm tired of the constant battles. So much for my hopes of spending happy, quality time with my parents in their remaining years. Tears.