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I have four sisters and two brothers. They all live away except for one older brother (63) and he suffers from severe depression. My mam took very bad on St Stephens day and nearly died. I have been looking after mam since she came out of hospital and even before she was ill, I was always with her and so were my children, we like be her to bits. But when my mam came home from hospital, the ne of my sisters (who I thought was genuine) flew over and brought my mam back down to her own house. She then brought my mam to her solicitor , with my older brother and got my mam to make a will leaving my brother in mams house until he died after she has passed away. ( He has his own apartment and cottage in the country). I do not really much be that as if that's what mam wanted I'm fine with that. Now the rest of my mams dealings with her will was sapposed to be between mam and her solicitor but seemenly my sister has told all my family about it, that my mam gave my brother money and I was left money in my mams band account. She told my mam before she got this will done that she would be home every few weeks to help me out with her but that all changed when she seen what mam did with her will. This sister got drunk before she went home and caused a lot of trouble in my home and even involved my children. She said with drink on her she had been instructed by my Oldest sister to sort out my mams affairs. I have been left so hurt by this carry on . I have been on here before about my mam but now , this sister is completely big hit me again and my mam will be going back to her house to stay with her for a week. The question is , should I bother talking with her at all as anything I say is carried back to all the family, but I know my mam is upset because I don't want to talk with her at all. Now my mother even got annoyed with her on the phone as she was saying she could not come over as promished as she had to mind a friends kids and then we seen pictures of her with another friend of hers over in Spain in my oldest sisters villa , staying for two weeks. It upset my mother to see she was telling lies. But as you know , she is my mothers child also so my mam still loves her. Should I just go away and avoid her completely.

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Dublingercare - any update? Did you talk to mom about straightening out her will? How did it go?
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Dublingercare Jul 13, 2019
No polar bear I have not got the chance yet as my sister is home and she is back down in her own home until Tuesday. She will be coming back up to my home then and I will sit down and have a talk with her when we are alone togeather.
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Your sister is upset because she's not getting anything out right when your mom dies, so she feels she doesn't have to take care of mom. I think this is your mom's responsibility to explain to her children why she gives to some and not to others.

In her case, I don't agree that she should make it private. What's her reason for keeping private? To avoid a fight? Or just delay the fight until she dies and she doesn't have to deal with it. This is her mess, and she should deal with it now, especially that it's no longer private. She is causing her children to fight already.

IMO, she should also decide how the house should be handled beyond the death of the brother, because that will likely be a reason for another battle, possibly in court.

If I were you, I'd be encouraging mom to clean up her mess before she goes, preferably now.
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Shell38314 Jul 8, 2019
Polarbear, What a prefect answer!
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I'm a little unclear as to the will. Your mother has 7 children and in her will, she leaves her house to one son, and the money to one daughter, you. Do I have that correct? Will the other 5 children get anything?
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Dublingercare Jul 7, 2019
My mam has six children. My mother has left the house to my brotherp until he passed away and then it's to be decided among the family. All my sister's have been away from home for over forty years and I have been with my mam here. My mam as far as I know does not have much money, only what she has in her credit union , which my brother pays in for her. I have not been told anything about my mams will as my sister went with her. All I know is my brother was given money from mam and what is left in her credit Union goes to me. I don't care about the house been divided but my mam wanted her will private. But now all the family knows and it's very upsetting.
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I would keep any conversations only on the subject of your mother and how she is. Keep the conversations short. Do not involve yourself in making accusations, blaming anyone for your hurt feelings, or get in any arguments with anyone about anything. When you get your answer about how she is, say thank you and get on with your life.
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Dublingercare Jul 5, 2019
Thanks Ahmijoy.
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