Should I have a contract, to be my boyfriend's caregiver? - AgingCare.com

Should I have a contract, to be my boyfriend's caregiver?

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My bfn and I have had some major problems, but while being his father's caregiver, we just put our problems on the back burner. I cared for his dad five years, and he was a good man. He cared a lot about me. After dad passed away in May of last year, my bfn has not done one thing he said he would do.........getting me a used car, was and is important, as we live out in the country. I am in the middle of disability, but still wanted to move away.
Now, my bfn has lung cancer, and I do want to be by his side.
The house is to go to his oldest son and he has made it clear that him and his sister's are going to sell it. It is an old double wide and I am scared that they will ask me to leave, after my man passes.
Can my bfn, draw up a will allowing me to live here for a few months. By then I should be close to getting my disability....I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, that leaves me with chronic pain.
I did love my boyfriend very much at one time, now I'd like to think we are friends. And, I do want to care for him.
My question is, am I being smart by having him add to his will that I can stay for a few months. And when is the right time to bring this up?
Thanks,
Dina

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Dina, I thought your post sounded familiar, I came across this one you had written earlier https://www.agingcare.com/questions/worried-family-is-preparing-ahead-of-time-198692.htm
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Thanks, they are all good answers. Funny, i ne
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Also, my father died of lung cancer one year after surgery. The man my mother was remarried to died 3 months after his diagnosis. There is just no telling.

Sorry that you are struggling in so many ways. Your life is valuable too!
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Pamstegma, that is it, exactly! Good advice, because while pressured and guilty to care for Bf, Msgreynite is not likely to make big changes just yet. But future affordable housing is a good plan.
Msgreynite, you should plan to accept the housing imnediately when offered, and not wait for your convenience. The waiting lists are long.
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My advice is to get on a waiting list for subsidized housing for disabled seniors. When the opening comes, take it, notify the kids you are leaving. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
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Cute kitty as your avatar!
Where are your parents, children? Any family?
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Agreeing with the above posters, they could not have said what they did any nicer!
Go to classes that teach how to be a caregiver, maybe get a degree or certificate.
Separate your career choice or calling from your personal relationship, or choice of a bf or husband.
Go to therapy to discover your true underlying motives to get your own needs met
through a dysfunctional relationship.
You mentioned inheriting a double-wide-could you set your sights a little higher?, maybe like the others who mentioned becoming self-supporting in a career that would satisfy your choices?
Don't settle for less now that the time is short for your own self to be fully functioning into your later years. Bf dies, and whether or not you have a home, where do you see yourself in 5 more years? There will always be people needing caregiving, but you have not wisely planned out any viable future for yourself.
That doesn't sound smart at all. imo.
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I've been wondering as well how someone with so many medical conditions and RA to the level of being on SSDI can also have the strength, stamina and flexibility to take care of some one else.

But if you feel it's your "destiny" to be a caregiver, find an agency that will give you training and pay you so you can learn to be self supporting and not reliant on someone else.
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My turn to be a bit blunt. Seems to me you are sticking your head in the sand willingly. You seem to see the situation for what it is but are choosing to accept it under the guise of bring a compassionate caregiver. Compassionate caregiving is all well and good but when this stint comes to an end you are most likely going to be penniless and homeless. Don't you think it's time to take care of you?
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As far ad my R . A., i am under a doctor's care. I perform yoga and am active, until i get a flare up. There are some other issues with my ribs and sternum.......apparently RA can effect a lot. I thank you, again
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