Should I give the keys back or say no?

She is impulsive and stubborn....only she is right type! I wish someone could tell me what her issues are so that I can understand.....Thanks for the hugs and good wishes!!!!

Chris; Sounds like your mom is a very impulsive person. You need to get some help in understanding her issues, long term. Hugs and all the best to you!

MaggieMarshall.....glad I could help you out!! Smiles are always necessary but not always as available as they should be!

My husband is going to be here with her for the weekend....she also has my niece and a nephew close at hand. I am still working on driving resources for her and that is coming along. Time, however, and wait are four letter words for Mom. Patience has never been her thing and now it is really non-existent.

You just made my day, Chris. ;)

You could always say "I'll call the doctor before we leave and we'll see what s/he says and kick the can down the road a bit. But it's still gonna be no in the end.

Chris, Does mom have access to transportation (cab, other relative, neighbor) etc. While you're gone? Does she know how to contact those resources? Unless she's a lifelong narcissist, has dementia (and therefore can't understand why everyone is telling her she can't drive) or is significantly mentally, then maybe she's scared of not being able to get what she needs. Maybe you need to go over again with her how respite is going to work out , and write it down for her so she remembers.

All, thank you for this reaffirmation that NO is the right answer. All of these things I've been telling myself for the last 3 weeks when the episode started. Pouting, ranting, raving I can handle...at least I think I can--that's why the respite! I do love her enough to stand firm. I was hoping there was a magic way to not have a tantrum. I was practicing delusion....not working out for me though! I appreciate the answers.....especially the chuckles I got. Plain speak is my preferred! Chris

Not to be rude; but what part of the Doctor and Care Manager saying NO did you and Mom not understand. Take the keys with you and for safety have the car disabled (removed battery or distributor cap). We are talking about your Mother's life and the lives of others should she have an accident. That is a lot to live with the rest of your life! Your Mother has no vote on this matter. She is better off sitting at home pouting!

Will she be angry? You bet. Will she rant and rave? Oh yeah. But you need to love her enough to let her be furious if that's what it takes to keep her safe. (and every other driver in the area) You can do this.

Smarty-Pants answer, no? ;) This isn't about you and how bad you'll feel hurting your mom's feelings, Chris. This is about doing the right thing even when it makes you squirm.

You put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth. Make a pursing motion with your lips . . . mouth open . . . and exhale while engaging your vocal cords. Is that what you mean?

If you "go with" anyone else besides the care giver, you are being negligent in your responsibilities to your mom -- and every other driver on the road. Period.