Should I give the keys back or say no? - AgingCare.com

Should I give the keys back or say no?

Follow
Share

My 86yo mom just had a major health issue landing in hospital & rehab. Now is home. Primary doc told her "no stairs, no driving--non negotiable". I have the keys, not in the house. She is insisting on me returning the keys before I go on a weekend of respite! Care Manager tells me absolutely not, which I tend to go with. Has anyone any success in HOW to say no????

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
41

Answers

Show:
1 2 3 4 5
The doctor said NO - what part of NO do you and your mother not understand?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When my Dad retired, both he and Mom where in and out of the house at least twice if not three times a day, on the road to one grocery store, then another, and another, or to the mall, pharmacies, appointments, to the movies, dining out, volunteer work, etc... they were always going somewhere, no wonder I had a hard time catching them on the phone.

Well, I am the opposite, once I get home from work I stay home... you couldn't get me out of my house unless it was on fire.... I am a homebody, except for volunteer work on Saturday. So when my Dad stopped driving they expected me to pick up where Dad left off with going to 2 or 3 different grocery stores, etc..... NOT.... well Dad couldn't understand because he thought all women loved to shop :P
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with everyone else, tell her that her doctor refuses to let her drive. Call him and inform him of the situation so he'll know what to say the next time he sees her. Definitely do something to the car so it won't work, in case there are more keys, or simply put the car at your house. The big thing is to make sure shes able to get a ride whenever she calls you or other relatives, or you call her and tell her that your going to pick her up. Do this often, even if its just for a ride somewhere, she probably doesn't care so much about not driving as much, its losing the freedom of getting out of the house and going somewhere that scares her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My dad threatened to call the police on me when we took the car away. He'd driven it even though the MD said no driving, so just letting it sit was not an option, some how he came up with extra keys. It took about 6 months but he got over it. Just don't leave the car where your family member can see it every day.
It really does feel bad, but seeing them in an accident, or injuring someone else would feel worse.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When my husband wasn't thrilled with idea that he couldn't/shouldn't drive anymore, I told him that if he had an accident and they found out that he wasn't supposed to driving, the insurance wouldn't cover him. Then the people could sue us and we could lose our house. He had dementia, but understood that. That was the last time he complained.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Uber is both a taxi service, and a car sharing service. Cars are reserved by sending a text message or by using a mobile app. Prices are at a premium because of the reliability of said company. But make note that during holidays and bad weather, the prices are much higher. When you use a driver, the driver carries no cash, your credit card is billed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When Mom had a bad fall and broke her ankle in many places, we used that time in rehab to dispose of her car. (my brothers lease) By the time she came home we had explained that the DMV took her licence. That was 4 years ago. To this day any time she sees a policeman (we have a lot of cop friends in the family) She will ask them to please help her get her license back. It never truly ends.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

At least in NYC, UBER is a driving service.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Uber and Lyft are car sharing services. If the MD says she can't drive, she can't drive, period.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Have you looked into Uber? or Lyft?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions