Should I give in to my out-of-state sister and pay for my brother's dental care with my mother's money?

The answer is No for all of the reasons listed.

This is going to seem harsh but I am just looking at this from the reality side. Like said, implants are expensive. Is brother cured or just in remission. Either way, there is no guarantee he will outlive the cost of implants.

I would tell sister no. Moms money is just that, her money. You never know what life is going to hand you. To be used for her care and comfort. You never know when Mom may need LTC. Medicaid would look at that money as a gift. Like said, he could probably get a set of dentures for what it would cost for one implant. He can make payment on the dentures.

I understand your desire to help your brother with funding of the dental implants because they can make his life so much better.  HOWEVER, your Mom's money is for your Mom's future health care needs. 

There are other resources out there for your brother so that he can get dental implants. I suggest that your brother check with a dental college in his state. Here is a website with a list of dental schools that provide dental implants and other treatments to the public (often at discounted rates). (Copy and paste to your browser.)

https://www.dentalimplantcostguide.com/complete-list-of-schools/

Dental implants require that the person be in good health and that their facial bones be in good condition as the bone will need to grow around the implants to stabilize them.   Since your brother’s teeth are in poor condition due to leukemia drugs, he might need his Oncologist to approve the dental implants. He might need additional bone scans, CT Scans and lab work prior to the dental implants to prove that he is in good enough health to have the dental implants done.

There are several different versions of dental implants from just one tooth to several implants that a denture screws onto. 

https://www.dentalimplantcostguide.com/tooth-replacement-options/

This website has information about : 1) Dental Implant; 2) All-on-Four Implant Supported Dentures, 3) Implant-Supported Fixed Bridge; 4) Tooth-Supported Fixed Bridge; 5) Removable Partial Denture, 6) Removable Complete Dentures, 7) Resin-Bonded Bridge, 8) Flipper – a Temporary Replacement .

Dental implants can cost as much as $10,000 to $20,000 dollars (plus another $3,000-$5,000 for the special type of denture used with implants.).  Do you really want to spend that much of your Mom’s money on your Brother?  How soon can your Brother pay your Mom back if she needs the money for Home Health Care or a Long Term Care facility or a Memory Care facility? 

As someone else mentioned, you need to consider your health and the possibility that you might not be able to take care of your Mom in your home...especially since she has Dementia.  And there is the Medicaid problem in regards to the "Gifting" of money.  

Educate yourself thoroughly about dental implants. That way you can give factual support when you tell your brother and sister,
“NO, I am not going to give you (brother) any of our Mom’s money for your (brother's) dental implants.  Here is a list of Dental Colleges close to where you (brother) live.  Contact them about dental implants.  I am doing this because I love you.”

In reality, dentures cost under $500 apiece (uppers & lowers) which should be an affordable option for your brother if his teeth are in such bad shape. Implants, on the other hand, are not affordable nor are they an option for a lot of people if there is bone loss involved in the mouth. I agree with 97yearoldmom's advice that you do not have the authority to make financial decisions on behalf of your mother. Take it from me when I tell you that things DO go wrong, medically, at her age and the savings can be eaten up very quickly indeed. I often say it's my job to preserve my mother's money.......period.

Best of luck!

I imagine you are conflicted because your mother has the funds and would likely have helped out if she was asked, and if that isn't the case why would you even be considering it. Unfortunately medicaid complicates everything, and as POA you have a legal responsibility to secure her funds with her present and future best interest in mind.

The answer needs to be No.
In my opinion, you do not have to even answer your sister.

I’m going to say that your answer here should be NO.
Your mother cannot make her own financial decisions anymore. As POA, you have a fiduciary responsibility to her. It’s your responsibility and duty to handle her finances properly. I do not think it would be appropriate to gift her money like this. Even if the Medicaid look back period wasn’t a factor, moms money is to be handled responsibly. You should suggest that your brother look into getting the work done at a dental school. There are options out there.

How are you doing? How is your health and your husband’s health? What happens to mom if you can no longer care for her?
You need to see an elder care attorney to better understand your responsibilities and what the affect any gifting would have on her future options. Should your mom need Medicaid within the next five years she (you) will be penalized for gifting. I say you because not only will you be the one trying to get help for her when you can no longer care for her but you are the person she trusted to manage her finances and health. I’m assuming you have financial and medical POA?
I feel for your brother but mom’s savings is not a resource for him. Tell sister you don’t have the authority to make those expenditures. She needs to better understand where your responsibilities lie. It’s realky unfair of her to out this pressure on you.