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Absolutely not! We don’t give guns to little children because they can’t be trusted, we don’t sell them to known criminals for the same reason ( though they get them anyway). Your father has shown he cannot be trusted and so he cannot have it back. Also, if a person has ever threatened another and something bad happens they are automatically a suspect. Best to make sure nothing can happen as easy as a gunshot.
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I have to agree. Do not give him that gun. At that age there is no telling what they may be thinking what with paranoia and hallucinations and such.
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NO
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Yes. Gut it out so it's 100% inoperable. It's the same for every crutch--keys, wallet, etc. Make it fake and give it back. One less battle.
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InTheMiddle77 May 2022
If he does carry an inoperable gun with him in public and he displays it as a threat he would get shot with an operable gun.
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Considering the circumstances, how can you even ask that question?
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no. He agreed not to use the table saw, but he did. Now he says he will never hurt your wife.
Not worth the risk.
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No he already threatened her. Done deal. He could threaten again, and this time kill her and YOU! Why does a paranoid person, have a gun, or power tools??? Very dangerous situation.

People who are safe with guns, don't threatening people with them. Not once, not ever.
You cant come back from dead, or I didnt think he would really KILL HER. Paranoid, gun, and threatening people won't fair well for you in a court of law. Who do you think they will prosecute? Not just him. YOU! He'll die quickly, but you'll be in jail for decades.

Honest officer, I didn't think he would murder my wife after threatening to kill her THE FIRST TIME, or shoot me because he didn't get his way. I took the gun, but then gave it back, because I have no common sense. Now she's dead and I'm mortally wounded because he had another tantrum.
I wouldn't even give him an empty gun back, because he could still get more bullets, or has hidden bullets around the house. And people do hide them and more guns.
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I think you already answered your own question when you said you didn't trust him.

No. You should not give your 91 yr old father who threatened to shoot your wife his gun back. You should also remove the power tools and anything else he could injure himself or others with. Sounds like pop may be having some cognitive issues.....
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If you have any doubt about safety do not give it to him. If you give it back to him anything that happens is your fault . Better him be mad because he can't have a gun than you having to bury a family member,
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Just wondering why he carries a revolver everywhere. Is he paranoid? Wouldn't that be something else that's worrisome?
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Never ever give poppa dukes a weapon. If God forbid something happens he will not serve time. He’s old. Just say the police came and confiscated all weapons including yours. So he doesn’t feel like it’s just him. If possible u can have an officer come and explain or have a friend dress up as an officer to explain. Also , U may have to take the power tools and find him another hobbie. Maybe they have a senior day care go with him so he can make friends than come home. Maybe he will love it and go more often. God Bless!
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Ella2021 May 2022
Dementia makes a person too erratic. If I'm correct, the owner of the gun would be responsible for anything that happens. That's like, if a child gets a hold of a gun and injures someone, it is the parent that is charged. It's hard; believe me I know! Went through all this with my Dad.
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The obvious answer is no! Please don’t ever consider such a thing. My mother always had a gun in the house until about 8 years ago when she started showing signs of dementia. Since she wouldn’t give up her gun voluntarily, we took the bullets and hid them. Since she never checked the gun….she went a few years not knowing we did this. Then when things started getting worse with her, we took her gun away permanently. She didn’t notice for another couple years but then was angry and said I stole her gun. She’s in denial of her Alz diagnosis so you can’t reason with her. She hasn’t brought it up for awhile since she’s still focused on driving again (that’s a big NEG too)!
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BurntCaregiver May 2022
I hope your mother isn't living alone with Alzheimer's. Of all the Alzheimer's/dementia suffers I've known and cared for, once it progresses to the point where they believe everyone is stealing from them, that's usually when it's time for a facility or 24-hour help in the home.
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Go with what your gut is telling you. Last word on your post is But I dont trust him.. He,s all ready breaking the agreement. For his safety and yours might be time to reassess the living arrangements.
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no. no need for analysis
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What a mess. There are three issues here: 1. The use of power tools in the house, and 2. The constant carrying of a weapon by a 92 year old and 3. Whose house is it now?

The old man should have been using the power tools outside or in an outbuilding, but not in the house since the dust affects DIL’s health. She had good reason for wanting to cut the cord.

The gun carrying is an issue no matter where the family is. The 92 year old may be spry and capable, but there aren’t outlaws hanging out behind every bush nor are there vermin ready to kill the chickens coming around the corner all the time. Think Saturday morning cartoons. The guns belong in a gun safe locked away, particularly after he threatened to kill her. He forgot he was killing her by using his power tools in the house by aggravating her health condition. This should have been discussed, but the old guy would have said that he wouldn’t give up his gun. Now that it isn’t available anymore, the discussion can proceed to whether he should go to assisted living or remain and cooperate with the house rules. The house isn’t his anymore. It is his son’s and he put his DIL’s health on the line as well as his own with the power tools.

The third issue is the house. The son and DIL own it. The agreement was that son and DIL would buy it if father didn’t use power tools in the house to cause dust. The first event would should lead to certain results - removal of power tools or a workshop setup in an outbuilding. The workshop is unlikely. Once the power tools are removed and out of sight like the gun(s), father will be in a right pickle. Some other form of activity will need to be found to occupy his time.
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Isthisrealyreal,

Read my post more carefully. I did not mention family members being killed by accident. The wording I used was 'people they love' and that can mean anyone from a friend to a neighbor.
Your response is the total nonsense, not mine.
Yes, a person who cannot manage the most basic functions like personal hygiene, adequate nutrition, housekeeping, and paying bills surely cannot manage the responsibility of safely having a firearm in their possession. A 92-year-old who threatened to kill his DIL REALLY can't safely manage one.
As far as age is concerned, it's a factor. I know some very mature and responsible five-year-olds. Really good kids. I'm still not going to let them use the lawnmower or drive my car. A 92-year-old doesn't need a gun.
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Isthisrealyreal May 2022
Stretching it there aren't you? Oh my lands, family or people they love, seriously?

I still say it is straight up nonsense to say that anyone is being inadvertently shot. Most gun violence is intentional and it is not seniors or gun owners that are getting robbed and shoot an innocent person.

You also think verbally and mentally abusing seniors is a-ok, as you have stated in many of your posts. So, of course you would be on the side of depriving seniors of there rights.
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He can have it at a gun range and you're with him - if he still does target shooting. Other than that, no gun in possession in the home.
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Absolutely not. Unless you want a murder in your house
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Seriously? He threatened to kill your wife and you are asking if you should give him his gun back. Why is he still living with you?
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Whatever people’s opinion is on gun rights, you just do not display a loaded firearm in front of a person who has threatened to cut or take away power tools threatening to kill them. If dad is of sound mind as isthisrealyreal implies, then his son and his wife made it clear that no power tools were to be used in the house before the sale happened. It is now sons and wife’s and their first obligation is the spousal.
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Isthisrealyreal May 2022
He didn't display it, it wasn't even on his person. Read the post.
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If this post is legit, I have to weigh in on the side of 'get the gun away from him'. The power tools will just hurt him. The disrespect for your wife's health is a deal breaker. If he wants to live surrounded by his tools and guns, then he can't live with YOU.

He sounds mentally deficient, and that, combined with firearms and power tools--holy cow, the answer is right in your face.

I'm amazed that at 92 he can lift a saw and use a planer.
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my2cents May 2022
Mentally deficient - or - always had a hair trigger personality. Either one dangerous as far as owning weapons.
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I am starting to think this is a troll post, intended to foment discord.
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BurntCaregiver May 2022
I think you're probably right, Barb.
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Notgoodenough, you say protecting your property means keeping someone from breaking into your house. That's not true in AZ, that means I can protect my property, using deadly force, if you are trying to deprive me of my personal belongings.

See in my state, you don't get to be a petty criminal without potentially severe consequences.

I think the point being missed is that this 92 year old NEVER pointed the gun, in fact, he wasn't even in possession of the firearm when he said that he would kill her if she cut his power cords. It wasn't a struggle between the son and dad, the son just went over and picked the gun up. Doesn't sound like a threat of gun violence, IMO.

Sounds like a wife that threatened and bullied a 92 year old and he stood up for himself.

I think we forget there are 90 year olds that aren't demented and out of control. There are some that are just living in an old body that can't do everything as fast as it use to but, their faculties are completely intact.

This whole post sounds like a woman that is insistent about taking away this man's liberties.

Oh and nothing indicates that they are caregivers for him, only mention of any issues are their own.
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notgoodenough May 2022
Listen Isthisreallyreal, I love you and I respect you...I think you have a great perspective on things, and I almost always agree with your responses. Just not this one.

So I think we are going to have to respectfully agree to disagree. I hope this doesn't mean you think badly of me, as I don't think badly of you over this disagreement.

And I am going to follow Barb's thoughtful advice and be done on commenting, because I don't want to be part of this thread devolving into rancor.
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Your question sounds very naive.
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"Sorry, but 92 year olds and guns are never a good match"... no its much better to be a 92 year old murder victim so some dimwit can have your prescription drugs... or an 89 year old rape victim before the robbery... Just the stories of two families I know of with disarmed seniors who also live with guilt. In TN, preying on our seniors comes with live sentences and sometimes death, but the crazy methheads still do it.

In this case, I would be uncomfortable disarming an elder who is being abused in his home by an "I will destroy your property" DIL without a hell of a lot more information. I think too many of you are identifying with the daughter and seeing her behavior as "normal" but look again. She's arguing with a senior like she's a 12 year old. She may be the one with cognitive decline and/or unresolved emotional problems that make her a danger to the senior. Just how much abuse is acceptable to you?

I agree completely this couple should not share living quarters with this senior. This may mean moving out of the house or using the money from the sale (IF the senior agrees) to move to different housing, maybe a senior apartment or an AL.

Maybe I also have experience with multiple older relatives who lived alone and didn't need much help until 96 or so. My cousin started mowing his grandmother's yard and tilling her garden when she was 92. She died at 99 (as did two of her sisters) still living alone, although her granddaughters did much of her housework and visited her daily for the last year of her life. One of the sisters had her daughters rotate staying the night with her, but still minimal help required and still mentally sharp. Just because someone is old doesn't mean they deserve to be treated as second class citizens and just absorb whatever abuse some younger person want to put on them. In all these cases the families settled the home ownership after the death (by will usually) so there was little conflict over who the home belonged to.
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BurntCaregiver May 2022
TNtechie,

Maybe there should have been younger people looking after those 92 and 89 year olds before they became murder and rape victims. Their families who are living with guilt from disarming their seniors didn't have enough sense between them to figure out a safer living situation than these people living alone? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as they say.
People so often make the mistake in thinking if there's a gun that they will respond like a secret service agent or an Army Ranger. They don't.
The crime usually ends up happening anyway and the person with the gun ends up killing someone they love by accident.
Sorry, but elderly people alone who are struggling in coping with ADL's (maintaining personal hygiene, keeping their homes clean and habitable, getting adequate nutrition, keeping up on paying the bills, etc...) really should never have access to a gun. Or a set of car keys for that matter.
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Umm…. NO.
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Sorry, but 92 year olds and guns are never a good match. Whether he'd use it for nefarious purposes or whether he has dementia or not, he doesn't have the reflexes to handle something like that anymore.

Get them out of the house and keep them out. If you have to ask, you should know what the answer is.
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BurntCaregiver May 2022
Amen to that, MJ1929.
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Q1. Why did you buy Dad's house & move in?
Q2. Did Dad ASK you to?
Q3. Did Dad concent?

You & wife are now the property owners - therefore set the house rules ie
Rule 1. No powertools inside. Rule 2. No guns in the house.

Seems to me no-one is clear on the new boundaries.

I am left wondering if Dad did not agree or understand this new house arrangement. If not.. it should not have been done. If Dad is angry about all this he may hurt you both. He doesn't need a gun, any tool can be a weapon.
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My husband didn't want to give his guns up, so we are 'storing' them at our son's house, in his gun safe. Except for one, that hubby thinks he needs for our protection. I asked our son to make it inoperable, in other words, he removed the firing pin. So, yes, he has a gun. And no, it will not fire. It's been hiding in the closet for 7 years.
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Absolutely do NOT give that gun back !!!! We removed a gun from my brother who was depressed. He wanted and insisted we give it back… he got it back and committed suicide at 34 years old leaving behind a wife and 2 SMALL children. We live with this guilt daily ( it was 25 years ago). ONE threat is more than enough and at your dads age he possibly has dementia
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SnoopyLove May 2022
How horrible and tragic. I’m so sorry, Katefalc.
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