Should I get the flu shot to protect mom?

Check with her MD, but in our experience with radiation and chemo, they actually wanted our daughter to avoid vaccination because her immune system was so depleted that it would be unable to respond properly.
With your mom, it is important to WASH YOUR HANDS and to stay away from big family parties where sneezing and coughing is all too common. Of course at Thanksgiving, when you pass the side dishes, you pass all your germs too.
Think about it, flu season takes off after the winter holidays. Why? because we all shared germs at the gatherings.

I don't feel 'politically' about the flu vaccine, but for myself, at this point in my life, I choose not to take it. I am open to changing my mind as I get to be elderly, or if my immune system was very compromised. I work in a field where most people get flu shots, but I've heard from several people who say that no matter what, every time they get a flu shot, they end up getting sick. I don't think they're exagerating or making it up, I believe them. Could you mention your reaction to your mother's doctor and see what he says? He may just say to be very careful, wash your hands constantly, and if you feel yourself coming down with something, have a substitute (healthy) care person in place.

Every fall like clockwork, mom had the flu vaccination for the type du jour. Two weeks later like clockwork, she got the worst cold/sore throat she'd ever had. That went on for five years. I finally insisted she stop getting the flu shot. End of the problem.

The doctor, of course, didn't believe the cause and effect, so he noted in her file that she was allergic to it. She hasn't had a flu shot in 15 years. She's 87. And won't be getting another. Ever.

I don't get flu vaccinations and have no plans to start.

No matter what recommendation I got for mom, I would not get her vaccinated.

Thank you. This helped a great deal. I'm pretty much "OCD-clean" - Lysol wipes and disinfecting everything. We live in separate dwellings even though it's one big house, but we do eat dinner together because I cook for her.

I thought about the possible "flu-like" symptoms once you get the shot and thought if it was a bad idea for her to get it. I'm going to ask the doctor. I appreciate the input!

I will not get a flu vaccine. Period. I have gotten the flu a long time ago (when I was driving truck... now THAT was a story..).
My moos previous doctor requested me to get one but I just flat out refused. In the past 16 years neither she nor I have gotten the flu. Colds, yes. Mom got pneumonia once and now gets those shots whenever, but not the flu.
I simply do not trust the vaccine.
I do get intestinal bugs from time to time as much as I try to avoid contact with 'filthy fingers' moo. (I have another post on that, God she is nasty...does not wash her hands... will not even use the blasted hand sanitizer)
If I really get sick we will have a real problem as she can not really do things for herself anymore. Some I have to do, although I think she is just lazy as well.
I just won't get it, I state it 'I won't get it' and if I'm pushed I'll just go downstairs.
I don't think there is any law that states you have to get a vaccine in this type of caregiving cases.
two cents ¢¢

I get my flu shot every single year, and I think I had a mild reaction to it 1-2 times. Statistically, its a good bet/good idea. If you consistently react badly, its not such a good idea - unless you are pregnant or a teen ager or with asthma where the flu really could kill you or put you on a rehab unit, and you might want to consider tolerating or accepting mild side effects. We saw some bad, bad stuff on the pediatric side the past several years....I would personally be pretty nervous if for some reason I couldn't take mine, but then as a health care worker I'm expected to to help protect patients, and also more likely to be exposed, so for me the risk-benefit assessment is very much tilted in favor of getting the shots. Older adults also tend to tolerate the shots really well. My folks always got theirs, even while in skilled care, no side effects.

One recent year when H1N1 was making the rounds, while my age group had some partial immunity form years past, my poor son was sick as a dog with it for two sold weeks, and I was ill for just a day and a half. But it was a good reminder not to compare "flu-like illness" with the real thing - I really thought I was gonna die, and felt bad enough that didn't seem like such a bad idea. That's fairly specific to actual infuenza, most other viral infections just don't hold a candle to it.

I can only tell you my experience, which is that years ago, my younger brother brought the flu home from school and gave it to grandma who subsequently died of pneumonia. My understanding from reading Japanese studies is that when they vaccinated all the school children in Japan, the death rate among the elderly went down dramatically, without the older folks getting vaccinated.

that being said, I get the vaccine every year because I work with young kids. I last had the flu about 15 years ago and realized that if the house caught fire, I was so incapacitated, I would'n't be able to get down the stairs and out of the house, I was that sore and unable to get out of bed. At this point, I'm trying hard not to infect my mom with a transmission from any of the little kids I'm around. So you really have to judge your own risk of exposure.

I could get the flu shot on the grounds that I'm mother's main caregiver, and she has hers every year (it's one of the few health routines she's always been conscientious about). I'm dithering. I never had a problem with the vaccines, which we were lined up for at school, but I've only twice in my life had actual 'flu, as opposed to a nasty cold, and no lasting harm done there either. I think if I were in a job outside the home, or couldn't avoid crowds, or knew a lot of people with babies and elders at home, I'd probably get it to protect others - herd immunity and all that. The Boogs, would it be practical for you to stay away from your mother if there was a lot of 'flu doing the rounds? Otherwise I think you should distinguish between the general and the particular, and nuts to hypocrisy.

They say that it's quite easy to diagnose 'flu. If there's a $100 bill lying on the floor of the doctor's waiting room and you pick it up, you've got a cold. If you don't, you've got 'flu.

I have never got the flu or flu shot. I don't ever remember having a cold. My mom however, has always had the flu shot and so shall remain to have it. I've not noticed any side effects from it either.

I used to never get a flu shot. About 15 years ago I got such a bad case of the flu. My temperature hit 105 one day. I was crazy miserable, sick as a dog, and contagious bed of roaches. I was so sick and miserable that I knew I never wanted to have the flu again. Hubby had his flu shot that year, so he stayed well. So now I get the flu shot every year. My mother gets one, too. We go to public places, such as churches, restaurants, and (the worst) doctors' offices. I haven't had the flu again. We've never had a bad reaction to the shot, beyond a little arm soreness.

Just for clarity the actual flu is a really really nasty RESPIRATORY illness that can be complicated by Staph pneumonia. It is not a stomach bug (stomach flu is a misnomer) and definitely not a cold. Vomiting it not uncommon but diarrhea is. Primary spread is by respiratory droplet. I don't know if the Countrymouse test has been validated as well as the rapid or the definitive influenza A or B tests, but I would not be too suprised if it worked and was realtively cost-effective :-). Sometimes they will not even run the standard tests that in a setting where flu is very common, illness is very typical, and there is enough Tamiflu to go around.

Geez, what's the big complaint about getting a vaccination for the benefit of the community at large. Enough people need to be vaccinated to keep the spread of disease low. Medicine makes progress, and sometimes there are mistakes. Are you old enough to remember when you had to avoid swimming pools to avoid polio? Flu shots change every year to try and keep up with nature. By avoiding vaccinations AND using germ killing soaps and wipes you promote the tough germs for the rest of us. Thanks a lot. Get a flu shot for yourself for the sake of your mom and the rest of us.

I get a shot every year. So did my husband. I believe in vaccinations.

You, TheBoogs, apparently do not believe in vaccinations and even blog against them. That is your right. But then why on earth would you get one now? If you don't think they work, what would be point of getting one? And if they do work, why are you against them? I guess that is the key question. Why are you against them and how does caregiving for someone fit in with those reasons?

I should also mention that in years past, one of mom's docs would give her flu vaccine in two half doses. A subsequent doc gave her preservative free vaccine...she is generally sensitive to medications and if nothing else, these measures were reassuring to her

i accepted a va flue shot 13 yrs ago -- spent 10 days in bed shivering and sweating . worst sinusitis ive ever known .
vegas , for the good of the public ? i read a report online last week that tracked the hepc virus spread across the globe for 19 yrs . for the credibility of the study they had to exclude the group of people who were exposed from contaminated vaccines . i believe that group to be vietnam era veterans to include myself . i understand that we need vaccines and sometimes there are risks but ive suffered 35 yrs of the confusion and fatigue of hepc because of bunk vaccinations . i wouldnt blame people for refusing them .
my aforementioned flu shot will be my last one . its almost the sickest ive ever been only to be trumped by a particularly rough hepc treatment attempt 8 yrs ago .. more vaccinations , no thanks ..

My parents [90+] have been getting the flu shot every year for the past 35 years and never had any reaction of any type.... they did volunteer work at a regional hospital for 25 of those years, a good place to catch anything, never caught the flu, etc. In fact, I can't remember the last time either of my parents even having a common cold.

I got my first flu shot back in 1976 when there was a big swine flu breakout, been getting said shots ever since... I also do hospital volunteer work.... got my flu shot last weekend.

Wouldn't it be sad if you had the beginning start of symptoms, but didn't know it, you ARE in fact contagious, and passed it on to someone else who in turn passed it on to an infant or elder and that person became seriously ill.

By the way, you cannot get the flu from the flu shot [the vaccine is a dead virus].... those who do get sick already had the virus but didn't know it. If you catch the flu from someone else it usually takes 2 to 3 weeks before you know it, so in the mean time you get a flu shot.... then get sick.... and of course blame it on the flu shot.

We are going to have an early flu season. Don't forget 36,000 people here in the States died from complications of having the flu.... and 200,000 were hospitalized because of the flu. For those who said they never get the flu shot and never got the flu, this could be the season you get it [I hope note].

Freqflyer is right about protecting the young, elderly and people with compromised immune systems. There is such a thing as "community immunity aka herd immunity" which is having a high enough percentage of members immunized to prevent the spread of the disease to the vulnerable. That's why it's good for the community at large.

I work for a major hospital and we are REQUIRED to get the flu shot or we can be unemployed... if you have an allergy they have you get it at the occ health office and watch you all day...LOL Alot of folks seem to come down with symptoms after thier shot.. but they begin during the start of COLD season. The flu causes fever and body aches. not just cold symptoms. I get colds, but I have not had the flu in about 15 years. Maybe I am just lucky.. but we are all getting the shot!

I love my mother but I fear the consequences of that shot.

What's the big debate? Do you know what you're putting in your system to avoid the flu, to which, some people wind up getting the flu.

The ingredients found in the vaccine are, formaldehyde, mercury, aluminum, thimerosal, animal byproducts, chlortetracycline hydrochloride, chick embryonic fluid, streptomycin sorbitol monkey kidney cells and calf serum, phenol -a compound obtained by distillation of coal tar vesicle fluid from calf skins Engerix-B, human diploid cells from aborted fetal tissue, and live viruses. Not only are these ingredients alarming, but some people don't know that there are allergens in here (if they are allergic) like raw egg and shellfish, which can be deadly for some people.

Strange, years ago when I was in my early 20's and begging for the flu shot because I worked in a fast paced office with more than 1,000 people - my family doctor refused to give it to me unless I had asthma (to which I did develop later on in life) and was only giving it to the very young and elderly. Now? There are signs all over begging people to get the shot. Big pharma is making quite a buck. The shot doesn't even cover multiple cases of other strains of the flu virus.

I spoke to my doctor this morning. He said that my mother should avoid taking the flu shot since it will compromise her immunity even more so. (She's beginning chemo and radiation.)

In the past, any time I got the flu shot, I got the flu weeks later. And BAD. When I stopped taking the vaccine, I haven't had the flu since in my twenties. I'm 40 years old, very healthy and I work from home so I am not around children or a whole lot of people to begin with.

I'd "rather" not take the vaccine, but if my doctor told me it was to save mom's life ---- I would totally do it and sacrifice my own health to save hers. That's why my stance changed - my mom is my world and I love her. I just want the best option to keep her healthy, even if it means going against my beliefs and rolling up my sleeves for this venom.

Also, there are many nurses and medical staffers who refuse the shot. My sister is one of them. She works in a very well known hospital and they all have to take the shot or suffer the consequences. I can see that since you're working along with sick people. But the thing is, it's not 100%. The vaccine itself isn't even at most, 65% effective. I have heard more than three people say that they've taken the flu vaccine and they are now home sick with the flu. If it isn't effective enough, then why are we taking it with little desire to read what's in it?

*sigh*

So, thank you all for your input.

I guess I'm gonna go with my doctor's recommendation of steering clear of it for now.

You confuse me. Ok, I get that because of mom's compromised immune system she's not going to get the flu shot. And you're not getting it because you don't trust medicine. But you will if it's good for mom. What's not clear, did you talk to her doctor about you getting the vaccination? And by the way, it's great that you're relying on 20+ years old medical advice to guide you now. Why don't we all just quit getting vaccinations and return to the days of deadly whooping cough, polio, measles, and of course influenza which, about only 100 years ago, killed 20 million people. Just curious, do you oppose killing mosquitos too, or should we just sit back and enjoy malaria, dengue fever and the rest? And what did you think the responses would be when you brought this up?

Woah, Boogs - chick embryonic fluid? Otherwise known as 'egg white'? I expect the rest are related to a preservative of some sort, wouldn't you?

I'm not against vaccination but I do share your anxieties, some of them anyway, to the extent that I get extremely irritated with health authorities that pat us on the head and tell us not to be silly, of course everything's fine, trust us we're doctors. In the UK we had a huge issue when they swapped over from a single measles vaccine given at 15 months (which didn't work brilliantly well, but that's another story…) to a second triple vaccine, on top of the DTP, for measles, mumps and rubella.

So they whack very young babies with no less than six infections and they wonder why parents get edgy? Then someone came along asking for a link between MMR vaccination and autism to be investigated, and the dropout rate shot up (big surprise). The government could have chosen to give parents the option of the single measles vaccine, in the event that their GPs and child development nurses weren't able to reassure them; but instead they chose to call the public's bluff and devote all resources to assassinating that earlier researcher's character. Result: whopping great chunk of children not vaccinated against measles and ensuing deaths and brain damage - only a handful, but completely preventable, and can you imagine how those parents felt?

Please note: I have NO comment to make at all on the science of this, or the social science of it. I haven't the necessary years to acquire the education and do the research. But as an exercise in PR it was a disaster. Bullsh!t people that airily and you will get exactly the response you deserve. I was just very glad my kids were already jabbed and dusted so I never had to make the choice.

Boogs, if you do get a funny immune response to vaccination it could well be that you'd best avoid it - wouldn't it be the irony of ironies if you acquired another viral infection because you were at a low ebb post-immunisation, and then gave that to your mother? And most of all, relax about this and go with your instincts. Your refusing the vaccine is not going to kill your mother. Your having it may or may not protect her.

And stop asking your doctor to be God!!! How the heck should he know whether or not your particular case will conform to statistical probabilities??? :)

TheBoogs, for your own Mom's well being, NO ONE should visit her unless they themselves had a flu shot two weeks prior. You could be contagious and not even know it, feel fine, and go visit your Mom, and pass the flu onto her. If she caught the flu bug it would be extremely dangerous.

The pharmaceutical companies barely break even with making the flu vaccine. Every year they need to go into new research and development because the flu change yearly. Any vaccines left over get thrown out as they can't be used again for the next flu season [unlike other vaccines]. Why do the pharmaceutical companies even bother? Because they don't want to see tens of thousands of people die or millions be hospitalized in each country.

In all the years that I have been getting flu shots from my primary doctor's nurse, or at drug store that gave flu shots, or at the mall where flu shots were given, each and every nurse asked first if I was allergic to eggs. If my answer was yes, I would be directed to get a different flu vaccine from my primary doctor.

Ok, yikes, where did you get that list of ingredients? I beg to differ.

If you don't want to get the flu shot, so be it, that is your choice. I rather lean toward the choice that I won't get sick and makes everyone I had been in contact with the previous two weeks sick. Including my parents.

Theboogs, regarding *formaldehyde* please note that formaldehyde is also produced naturally in the human body as a part of normal functions of the body to produce energy.

Formaldehyde has a long history of safe use in the manufacture of certain viral and bacterial vaccines. It is used to inactivate viruses so that they don’t cause disease [example, polio virus used to make polio vaccine].

Boogs, there are egg-free and preservative free vaccines available. In fact there is a new vaccine this year called Flublok which does not have the actual virus in it either, not does it have antibiotics or adjuvants. Not available everywhere, you have to ask your MD.

MomGirl12, that is so cute about the spider web and that everyone needs a home :) That's a keeper.

Regarding the sanitizers/tissues excellent ideas... but you will need to go more steps further. Since the flu virus can live on hard surfaces up to 8 hours, you will need to wipe down everything brought into the house, such as groceries and the mail. Those items are handled by people at the Post Office and at the grocery store. Someone could have been contagious but didn't know they were sick.

And think about everything you touch when you go to visit the doctor's office.... door to the building... the elevator button in the hallway.... the elevator button inside the elevator.... the handrail inside the elevator.... the door knob to the doctor's office.... the pen used to sign in.... the clipboard to update paperwork... the arms of the chair you sit in.... the magazine you pick up to read.... any item in the exam room.... the door knob going out of the office.... back to the elevator buttons..... the door to the building... whew... oh, and your purse as it was touching the chair, etc..... and during that time you could have brushed your nose, touched your mouth, touched your eye, we do that without even thinking about it.... or had someone sneeze or cough within six feet away. Going into a public bathroom at the doctor's office or building?

Unless you don't plan to leave your residence starting today [flu season has started, it's early this year] and stay inside for the next six months or so.

Ever wonder why the doctors rarely get sick see all the people that do get the flu bug? The doctors get their flu shots.

I get my 94 year old mom a flu shot every year. I haven't had one (or the flu) for 15 years. We'll continue to do it this way.

Hello, My mother receives the flu shot every year. Her doctors were ok with her getting one last year too, right before she went in for chemo/radiation. I never got a flu shot but began to realize I should get one. I neglected to get one last fall and during the winter months I got the flu. It was a really bad case. So from now on I won't neglect to get one.... ever. When I was sick, my mother seemed to convince herself that she got the flu even though she got the shot and did not present with any real symptoms (cold, sneezing, temperature cough, achyness, etc.). The elderly "worrying, anxious" mind does more harm to her than any thing else :) I can't say for sure if getting a flu shot is the right decision or not, this is just my experience -- that the stress for caring for an elderly parent can weaken the immune system and you may be more vulnerable than you think. If you don't get the flu shot, just try to take the best precautions to avoid the virus. Good luck!

MomsGirl12, wouldn't it be easier to just get the flu shot? I thought I wouldn't be visiting the hospital either until Dad started falling, couldn't fix him at home, he had to go to the ER on several occasions. Hope Dad doesn't fall an hurt himself during the heavy flu season because getting into the hospital won't be easy, even by ambulance, he could be rerouted to another hospital, not his hospital of choice. If only those patients in the ER sick from the flu would have gotten their yearly flu shot.... [sigh]

Be careful don't over do the hand sanitizers, it can kill the good microorganisms.

Also, while the sanitisers kill germs, they cannot remove dirt. Soap, water, nail brush and boil-wash your towels.

And a dash of proportion. We're not designed to live in a sterile world.

Well I was born in 1939 many many years before vaccines. The only one available was smallpox and my dad refused to let me get that but hen he refused to let our local minister baptise me either we had to go to the next village. I would have been saved three summer weeks in bed if i got the measles shor and the itchiness of chicken pox spots, spending the summer of 1948 away from the pool when polio was at it's height.never got mumps and rubella waited till i was an adult on a ski trip. when the pirst polio shot was available to use in 1958 all the nurses were lined up and a senior nurse had a big bottle of the vacine and ONE syringe. I went home for four nights with flu like symptoms. One of my cousins died from diptheria in the 1930s. I personally get everything thats going these day and stay away from crowds and the only flu I have had was when I was 14 and off school for 2 weeks.
nothing is perfect and it is a personal decision. I do get my flu shots every year but have refused other medical treatment said to be in my best interests