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My folks gave me and my sister a rental property 10 years ago which is a life estate for my mom. We have finally begun to use the income to help them pay for back taxes which were in default after their home flooded in one of the biggest storms a few years back. They got FEMA but it was 2 years of relocating and a big financial drain. We have not yet profited from the rental that was gifted to me and my only sibling. We will be profiitting in a few weeks once the taxes will be paid off in full and past debts. Their attorney said they would qualify for some type of medicaid but i don't feel it is right. So i continue to use credit cards and am not thinking of getting a reverse mortage on their primary residence. I am getting critism from relatives. I am confused. We will use the income from their life estate as well and have begun to use credit cards for their every day needs. I do not give myself any pay, nor take any monthly assistance for their staying wiht me half the year in another state while we figure out where to have them age. They both want to stay with me in another state but one of my parents misses their own house. I am getting worn out back and forth and never getting to settle my own home projects and having this disruption in my own family. I am sandwhiched between my now young adult children and my aging parents and torn. I don't want to use medicaid and i feel i should just do this reverse mortgage thing. My other sibling dedicated their life as well to care for my folks the last 15 years at a loss to their own ability to increase their own business endevors. SO we are old fashioned integrated first generation family types.... attached at the hip so to speak. We do things carefully with empathy trying to take everyones needs into consideration. We live on one salary and my own kids have not recieved cars or fancy clothes or even gifts from their grandparents as they are old school strict and suspicsious and self absorbed . Yet we feel love toward them and loyalty. CAn anyone input? They can probably live till 100 and have another 10 years to go. ONe parent has diabetes and both have memory loss and some Alzheimers creeping in. Yet are very healthy and active and i also pay caregivers part time with their SS and rental income. My mom refuses an ALF or nursing home and does not speak English and is torn herself despite memory loss. Has anyone managed to make a similar situation work for them?

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I would talk to a Finacial Planner as well as a lawyer.

What income do your parents have? Whose credit cards are you using? Why do you feel that the parents should not contribute to household expenses when they are spending 6 months of the year with you? Find out about Medicaid for them, so you have all the information to make an informed choice.

Who is claiming the rental income on their taxes, you, your sibling or the parent? Who claims the expenses?

I would get independent professional advice before considering a reverse mortgage. Here in Canada, they rarely are the best choice from the perspective of financial planning. How much longer is it realistic that your parents could stay in the family home? They are out for 6 months of the year already. Would selling it make more sense?

Sit down with the professionals and research your options looking at various scenarios.
Sell the house
Apply for Medicaid
One parent dies
Parents live with you full/part time
Parents live in Assisted Living
One parent needs a nursing home
etc.
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Both of those options are big decisions. Your parents assets should be used to pay for their care. But I would suggest seeing an elder law attorney to discuss what the best option would be for your parents care and financial planning.
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