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My husband is not supposed to drive but he received a card in the mail that his license will expire in Nov. He hasn't been asking to drive lately but when and if he does I just won't let him but I think if I let it expire he may just leave it alone or he would have to take the test all over again and he would not pass. He will be very angry I think if he lets it expire but it would sort of be his fault if you catch my drift. He has mild Dementia for those of you that have not been reading my posts. Please help

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Please use this opportunity to get Dad off the road. My youngest sister was killed by a driver who had not right to be on the road. Life and limb of the innocent bystander is far more important than the elder's feelings.
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Remember it can be easy to get confused which is the gas and which is the brake, when you have dementia.It happen to my mom in the beginning stages.
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The way I see it, here is your chance to keep him safe. If he gets mad, he still cannot drive. I was making myself crazy in the end to keep my mother off the road. Listen to your heart and good luck with hugs. If he is able to be responsible for himself, it would be his job to renew it.
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I guess it varies, depending on the state, but you could ask DMV for an evaluation of his driving ability - then he could just have an ID made. This is what we are considering for my father.
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I just want to be sure that this notice was not for the license tags for the vehicle? You probably know the difference, but it seems odd that the DMV sent a notice that his driver's license was expiring the way the do for car tags. Its just been nagging at me this morning. I missed my own birthday expiration and had to take those two tests. I was nervous! And embarassed! I have been better about full stops at stop signs ever since!
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The picture on my FIL's DL is like 20 years old. Yes he still resembles it but DMVs issue renewals to get money, not to keep old drivers who shouldn't be driving from driving. I'd save up a lot of mail and put the letter in there toward the back with the junk. If he misses it at least he can't blame you for withholding it. Good luck!
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You have some incorrect advice here. He doesn't need to go in and renew before the expirations date to get an ID. Doctors etc DO accept expired DLs, and after its expired he can still go on in an acquire a picture ID. If he goes into the DMV before his birthday expiration date all he needs to do is pass the vision test. If it expires, he has to pass the written and vision tests. You are much better off letting the deadline pass for his birthday renewal, and going in later for the picture ID if you are needing it. Otherwise, he'll have a valid DL for another 5years or more, and you could have to address the other route of having someone take the license away by writing to the DMV, in which case he has to come in by a certain date and take the behind the wheel test only. If he misses the date, he can still go in and try the written and then the behind the wheel. This is a blessing to have his birthday arrive and miss the renewal date!
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Regarding expired driver's license, so far all the doctors and the hospital have accepted the old expired driver licenses of my parents, here in my area.... the address on the licenses are still their primary residence and the photos resemble them.
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An expired driver's license can still be used for picture ID. I wasn't allowed to drive for medical reasons and then it expired -- but I could still use it as picture ID (for voting, bank transactions, a real estate purchase, etc.) Fortunately it was re-instated -- I had just about gone nuts without it.
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I would take him to get the state 'non-driving' photo ID . I did that with mom and the hospital and nursing home asked for and used it.
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I wouldn't exactly remind him!

To explain: *he* received a letter reminding *him* to renew his licence, yes? Give him the letter (you shouldn't withhold mail from him anyway). Leave him to it. With any luck he won't get round to it and he'll just let it lapse; but in any case there'll be no need for anyone to say a word about his having to stop driving, which would only rub salt in the wound. Presumably there are other forms of ID he can use? - not everyone has a driving licence, after all.
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I just really love you all and wish we could all meet someday......I will let him know his license is about to expire. He would need that for ID....He is not asking to drive anywhere but I don't know why. Not going to rock the boat and ask. His mood has been so wonderful since the Seroquel. I hope it works for everyone this way. There are times when we do need to "divert" but in my case I will let him know. Thank you and Hugs to all. I pray each night for all the caregivers that they have strength and patience till the end.
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You got the card (driver's license) in the mail, money is due by Nov.?
Since he is not declared incompetent, since you don't have P.O.A. or guardianship, do not let the legal consequences fall on you.
Give him the card. Give him the bill. If he asks you to pay it, do that, timely.
If he has to take a test, then so be it. This is the last vestiges of what we call dignity, dignity lost later in life.
If it expires and he doesn't know it, he could be in trouble for driving without a license when stopped. And it is a person's acceptable i.d., he needs i.d. so the subject will come up! Hiding this will just come back on you in a negative way.


Don't get me wrong, I am all for protecting our loved ones with dementia, but as their advocate, we have to follow the law. So in your case (being between a rock and a hard place), I suggest giving him the paperwork, see what he does. If I gave anything like this to my husband, he would do nothing, but then he only has an I.D. and doesn't drive. The sneaky is sometimes acceptable for their benefit, however, if one has to be the sneaky protector, that brings a whole new level of stress on you.
You say he is not driving lately. Is that because it all falls to you to control his behavior? I am familiar with that, if so, and it is both scary and stressful, no one should have to live like that. I have had some success backing off, letting some things go, and lightening up. But then, ultimately, a rescue or helps are necessary.
Do what is right for you and your husband, something you can live with without the guilt. Don't forget all the other choices you can make if things get bad.
Take care of tarajane, one day at a time. God may want to bless you with less chaos, less drama, more peace and love.
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Does he have to show up at the DMV for an eye test? I went through this with my Dad about a year ago. He passed the eye test and got a five year renewal!! Oh joy..........Call the DMV and see what's required of him. Eye test? Written exam? If you think he would fail maybe let him go through the process but it my Dads state they will pass anyone apparently.
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If you just let it expire, your husband will not have a picture ID for the state he lives in any more. Doctor offices, hospitals, etc. are requiring that in many cases to verify identity before providing services. You can ask Department of Motor Vehicles if you can renew it as a state picture ID, or get it renewed and "lose it" unless you need it to show someone. If the ID expires, it can be a real drag trying to get reinstated.
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