Mom's in India in a senior community (I posted about her many times) and I try to bring her here to be with me for a few months. She has early dementia and will just sit on the sofa and stare at my face all day if I let her.
I used to feel horrible about this when she was with me. So I put on YT videos in our language, easy reader books and keep her engaged. This really exhaused me since she forgets how to operate a remote and doesn't care for technology. It got even more horrible in winter when she couldn't step out on the deck for some fresh air. I took her back to India.
I call her twice a day and she complains how no one visits her, people in the senior community are snarky ( somewhat true) etc. It's again tiring for me to get somone to deliver magazines, get a routine going for her there. Mom protests I'm spending money on magazines and other people borrow it etc. Her TV is broken and I'm trying to get it fixed asap.
Btw, in her younger days, mom would do some reading and then gossip ....no other hobbies.
As long as mom is physically safe and generally in good health, shall I stop trying to make her days happy and filled with things to enjoy? She's cared for fairly well there.
If she is well cared for just get her TV fixed or get a new one. But, I hope after everything you did to get her home, you aren't considering bringing her back to the states for a visit. You visit her. Dementia people do not do well with change. Leave her where things and language are familiar.
I'm not worried about that now, because it won't be happening. You can't force your mother to do a thing at that distance!
But I do feel for you. It is very hard when all you want to do is maximise your mother's quality of life, and nothing you try seems to make an appreciable difference.
You can't get her magazines delivered through the mail?
Get her t.v. fixed, don't let it sit there forever broken, but don't fret if it takes a day or ten.
As for company and conversation - you know her and I don't. I am put in mind of the Jewish/Indian/Irish* mother light bulb joke:
- How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Don't worry about me, I'll just sit in the dark.
It must be very difficult to sift the real grounds for complaint from the contented dissatisfaction, if you see what I mean. She kind of *is* still gossiping, isn't she - she's gossiping to you.
I know this must be really frustrating. But then, what are your realistic options, here?
*according to who's telling it