Only either before or after. The holidays are reserved for spouses' families. My husband is in MC and no visitors so I’m alone now. When my LO was not sick with Alzheimer’s we had each other so it was better. My few remaining friends are with their own families. I feel totally alone on the holidays especially since COVID-19. As an aside, I have always been there both financially and emotionally when needed. Now I feel cast aside, not important enough to be considered.