Mom's been living with me for a year. She has late stage congestive heart failure. She left her home where she was living with her 'boyfriend' of 47 years. He moved in with her 10 years ago. He'd never been married. Lived in his family home with his mom/dad/brother/sister. His brother is now in a nursing home. His sister has passed away.
I'm his HCPOA and POA. His brother's same if John dies. My mom's HCPOA and POA, and, of course, taking care of her. He controls his brother's $1 million and his own $600K. Until two weeks ago, I paid all the house bills and then gave John the bills and he paid me. I've since put all the utilities in his name. He also gives mom $500 for living in her house. I have to remind him to pay her. He still hasn't paid for August. I'm fairly certain it's because he resents having to pay anything at all. He told me, by rights, she should be paying half the bills -- after all, he says, it's her home.
I want to sell the house. John doesn't want to buy it. I just had it appraised, figuring Medicaid is going to demand a fair sale, and it appraised for $145K. If he doesn't buy the house, I want to give him notice to move -- 60 days maybe -- and put the house on the market.
I'm just not emotionally ready to handle mom's care, shoulder the responsibility of her home, and take care of my own stuff. I've had two cancers: bladder and breast. I always feel like I have one foot on a banana peel. I think many can relate to that. Every ache . . . every pain. You know the drill. My cousin is my HCPOA. We're like sisters. The idea that I could get good and sick and burden HER with mom, mom's finances, mom's home, a tenant (John), my health, my finances, etc., etc., makes me ill to think about. She is a wonderful person and says, "Maggie!! I don't care!!" But it bothers me immensely. She owns three homes herself and travels quite a lot. It would be very burdensome for her.
I'm going to tell him in the next few days what the appraisal came in at (he's expecting it), and if he doesn't want to buy it (he's 85 years old...I told him the RIGHT move is into assisted living--he won't do that), I'm prepared to tell him he has to move so I can sell the house.
Am I being unreasonable?