In December we brought our Mom who lived alone in the same home for 30 years to assisted living facility. She had fallen several times , then got pneumonia and after the pandemic just seemed to be getting worse . I was the only sibling living about 45-an hour away and needless to say was back and forth for whatever we needed to do . But it was getting too difficult for both of us. I stared bringing in home care which got very expensive but she needed the extra help.
Finally after much thought, talking to my Mom we found a nice place to bring her.
Long story short in the last 3 months of her being there she’s done a rapid decline. We’re paying for rent, and the highest tier for her care but the facility is short of help and My Mom is not getting what she’ was promised. Thankfully I live close enough to be there every day. Yesterday I decided to seek hospice care for her.
She cannot eat just anything. She has trouble swallowing and only can eat Yogurt, Ice Cream, Soup, maybe scramble eggs, rice pudding, smoothies. She gets up in the morning and tries to eat something and then sits in her chair watching TV or staring into space. By 12:30 she's very tired and needs to nap / she needs help getting in and out of bed and from 130 pounds to 95 pounds she’s easy to do for me when I’m there. Her Edema in her legs , ankles and feet are getting worse even with the LASIK . She’s having hallucinations, has had another bout of pneumonia and has fallen again during a trip to bathroom during the night . This is all in the last 5 months she’s been there. She's so fragile it scares me: she has oxygen but her voice is always strained when she try’s to talk /. And now losing her bowels cause sometimes can’t get to the bathroom in time.
I want her to be comfortable for as long as she has left and I promised her she would leave this earth with dignity but I can’t be there 24 hrs everyday. She says everything is so hard.
almost like shes giving up .
This is not the Mom I know. She was always so vivacious. Talking, walking , traveling everywhere even with a walker if she had . A retired RN who worked with all kinds of patients. A woman who when I went over her house had all her makeup on hair done and dressed like she was ready for anything!!!’ Now shes but a shell of the woman I knew and who I love.
Can hospice help me help her?