She wants to go home from assisted living. Should I take her out?

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We can get her day care, but she is alone at night and we are worried she will slip and fall.

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No. Her safety is 100% priority. Your sanity is 100% priority. Take my fuzzy math and hone in on the 200%. Mom's AL is the right thing for her, AND the right thing for you. Elderly declining parents become irrationally self-centered, with or without dementia. I hate the toddler analogy, but in this case it's applicable. Lay down the law. Sugarcoat it as much as you need to. But keep Mom where she is.
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"I know you want to go home, Mom. Right now, for now, this is where you need to be. The doctors want you to stay here for now. Let's go see what's doing in the game room". Affirmation, therapeutic fibbing, distraction.
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If you know she doesn't feel safe in the night then you should appoint someone who care her at night if affordable and otherwise you take help from your relatives so that he/she stay with her.
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I would be very wary of removing a person with dementia from a place where they are being cared for and allowed to stay alone in a house unattended. Think about the risks you are taking. The falls are only part of the problem. She could start a fire, allow strangers in the home, choke, ingest nonfood items. Dementia patients lose their ability to function as an adult. It's like leaving a toddler in a house unattended. Unless you can provide her with around the clock supervision and care, I would seriously consider what it involves.

In case you think she is capable of living alone, then have a professional assessment conducted to see just what she needs. Except in the early stages of dementia, you can't leave them alone at all.

Also consider that many dementia patients who are in their own homes, ask to go home constantly. Sometimes, it's not a physical place they are describing.
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No, don't do it. Spend less time at AL and do not interrupt her time in activities. Go once a week, stay an hour and leave. If you are there too much, she will focus on you instead of socializing. She will become weepy and whiney. Moving her to your house will only make it worse.
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Hi Glostuff,
My mom is not in a facility yet. My sister and I rotate on a weekly basis taking care of her in her home. HOWEVER, when it's my week I take mom him with me for the weekend and she constantly tells me she wants to go home. At the beginning I would get so frustrated but now I just tell her "mom, I have things to do and we'll be back to your house Monday morning. She whines but I try not to entertain her whining, just distract her. I know we,will be in the same shoes you are one day and have talked about it amongst us. We have agreed that when mom says she wants to go home we will tell her that the doctors don't want her to because it is not safe in her mom. I know it's easier said then done but we just pray that god gives us the strength to believe we are doing the right thing. Pray with her before you leave her and add a special saying for her. God bless and good luck.
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If you don't think she'll be safe at night don't bring her home. Or have someone with her all night if you can afford it.

Our elderly parents always want to come home and they swear up and down that things will be fine, that nothing will happen, but accidents do happen. What would it be like if you brought her home and she fell and broke her hip one night? Would she have to lay on the floor until someone came in the next day? If she had LifeAlert around her neck would she remember to push it if she fell and injured herself?

You can't bring her home if she's going to be a danger to herself.
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