Should I be worried if Mom isn't eating much or drinking?

Yes, you should be concerned. Speak to her physician.

You poor thing, uh, this is terrible.
Glad she doesn't have symptoms. My mom is in skilled nursing too, its difficult not knowing and trying not to worry. I'm sorry I have no solutions, just wanted to stand with you.

When my dad was in NH a year ago before this virus, I got conflicting information about him from different nurses. Significantly different. I should have taken my concerns immediately to the head of nursing and/or director of the NH. I can't imagine how nerve racking it is now, not being able to visit and see for yourself. I would continue to press for information in an effort to maintain a high level of attention on your mother. And I think it's a great idea to get hospice involved to be your eyes and ears.

Is there any way that the nursing facility could arrange for you to have at least a television so you can see her? I also would suggest speaking to her physician regarding her current condition. Speaking to her nurse might be helpful too. With the gastrointestinal issues, the dietician should be involved to help her get nutrients that her system can tolerate. Maybe measuring her intake and output would be helpful too. She could be failing and as difficult to accept as that may be, during this time of crisis, does she have an advanced directive if you need to use it to make decisions regarding her care.

In the current situation, it's necessary to have a care plan in place for your mother in the nursing home. Get in touch with her doctor to set something up if you are her POA. In my mother's case, she lives in a Memory Care ALF; I am the POA. When I was contacted for the care plan, I instructed them to leave mom in her room and isolated if she contracts the virus, and to bring in hospice for comfort care rather than take her to the hospital. She's 93, with dementia, and several other serious health issues in place right now, so I feel that hospice would be best. If she does contract the virus and ASKS to go to the hospital, that's fine too.....it's ultimately up to her if she's in the frame of mind to say.

If you get hospice involved now with your mom's care, they can guide you with the feeding situation that exists right now. She may be having swallowing difficulties associated with the stroke, which is common.

Contact the nursing home directly as well and let them know that you'd like updates about your mom's condition on a regular basis. Keep in mind that the virus can take 2 weeks before it starts showing symptoms. And, it may not show ANY symptoms in your mom at ALL.

Wishing you the best of luck with the entire situation. Sending you a hug and a prayer for the best possible outcome

Yes you should be concerned especially since you cannot be there to the care she is given. My dad’s girlfriend was in nursing home, with puréed food ordered. Someone brought her lunch h in, set it down and walked out without a word. When it became obvious no one was going to help her eat I started feeding her and she ate most of the food and drank the juice. I don’t know if the staff assumed we would feed her or if this was all they ever did, because no one spoke to me. I suggest a nanny cam trained on her 24/7. My daughter is a CNA and has worked in nursing homes. She often has 12 patients when she is assigned to 8. She does her best but can’t give the level of care she would like. Meanwhile other CNAs are standing around doing nothing. I don’t know anything about the facility where your mom is, but having ability to check should be welcome.

she may have kidney damage from dehydration; either that the COVID-19 is causing her nausea. It sounds like she is probably dying. Have you considered a feeding tube? Regardless she should be in hospital, or put her on hospice for end-of-life care.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I can't even imagine
having a parent in a nursing home at this time. My Mother went
for months eating very little. They should not be forced to eat,
encouraged, but not forced. From my understanding their bodies
start to shut down and do not digest food like it used to. I went
through a lot when my Mom was in the nursing home. I would
suggest you call and talk to the Hall Nurse, if you do not get a
decent answer from her, then call and ask for the Nursing Director
for answers. But I agree with one of the others that answered,
for your peace of mind I would definately contact a Hospice
Company and have them evaluate your mother. First do a little
research to find a Company that has good reviews. It sounds
like she will qualify for Hospice care and they can be your eyes
and ears while you can not go in to see your Mom. Good luck.

My stepdad lived for 8 years not eating or drinking much.

Of course this could be her leaving this world. I would consult hospice and have them do an assessment to see if she qualifies and if they can provide some additional help, perhaps even allowing you to visit.

Your mother may not need a lot of food if she is in bed, but if she is refusing all food and drink it sounds like the end may be coming. She has been unwell, even without getting the virus, and no-one seems quite sure exactly what is happening with people who don’t seem to show virus symptoms. Could you ask if a staff member could take a video on a phone, and send that to you? It might give you a slightly better idea of how she is. Could you ask straight out if they think that she is getting closer to the end? Staff never quite know if family want to know the worst, and are deliberately vague. But it does sound as though you should be prepared for bad news. You have my sympathy and best wishes.