Should I be hurt when my Mom talks about me with my sisters? -

Should I be hurt when my Mom talks about me with my sisters?


I am my moms caregiver and i also have a full time job. i have two sisters that take turns staying with her while im at work. but when i get home my sister will tell me things that my mom tells her that are not true about mel like that i get mad at her when she wets the bed and that that is why she does it cause she is afraid to tell me that she needs to go to the restroom.and of course it is not truel she also told my grandaughter that i gave her some soup and she had a dream i was trying to poison her. that is very hurtful to me being that i am the one that cares for her and does everythng for her. i dont have a life other than work and come and take care of her. is this normal and should i be hurt?

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The first thing about being afraid to tell you she needs to go to the bathroom sounds like she is blame shifting. In order to save face, she looks for something to blame beyond herself. Alas that something is often the caregiver.

I do worry about the dream she had that you poisoned her. In a mind with dementia, the line between reality and fiction are often blurred. Make sure your family knows the truth and document together the things your mother is saying. I would say to bring the untruths up in front of her and your family, but she could easily opt to throwing you under the bus, either because she is confused or she doesn't want the family to know she made things up. Once she does that, the fictitious tales may become facts in her head.

This is not an uncommon thing for people with dementia to do. Keep the other family members on your side and document your mother's tales. I have been through so much confabulation by my mother. Fortunately, none has been terribly malicious. If it looks like there is too much paranoia and trouble is abrewing, you may want to see about finding another place for her to live in order to protect yourself. I hope it doesn't go that far.
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Sooner or later she will report these delusions to APS or get someone else to. Of course, they investigate, taking her at her word, and it gets UGLY.
Get her to a nursing home NOW, because trying to defend yourself from false accusations is sheer H*LL. Protect yourself.
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