Should I be honest with my mother? - AgingCare.com

Should I be honest with my mother?

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My mother thinks that she is coming home soon because the NF jumped the gun by telling her that. She comes up positive for C-Diff every 10-14 days.after treatment. So they start up again with a different antibiotic. Everythime I talk to the Social Worker about her release this is what happens. My mother 's mind is not that bad forr 95 years old and remember most of what she is told.
I've been reading that it is hard to get rid of and aI try to tell her that this is why she is still there. She does not believe me and believes the Drs are lying. I have no way of knowing myself if she is still positive. i hope to God that this facility is not pulling a fast one. They did tell me that I could take her home with it but, I don't know the severity of this condition and what I have read so far, it is nothing to take likely. Mom, is anticipating coming home soon and I told her she would just so she can sleep at night and stop crying. What should I do know?

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I cared for my Mom for almost 3 years, after she fell and broke her hip. She passed away last December at 95. She had several bouts of C dif. I never caught it, I was very careful about hand washing and the anti bacterial gel will not kill c dif. The only people that usually get c dif are either on antibiotics for something else or are immune compromised.

Eventually, she was put on vancomycin (sp) 3 times a week for life and it never returned. She had to see a infectious disease specialist to get the prescription and vanco can be very expensive, the liquid form is less expensive. We were lucky her insurance covered the pill form.

I wish you well and hope the c dif is all cleared up.
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I has a similiar problem with my dad he had been in rehab for the Medicare max time and was imobile due to an amputation, right foot. He got C-Dif for the second time. My sister apealed to Medicare and they granted an extension. BTW, mom had caught a bout of CDif from being in the facility, she was 78 and unable to care for him in his present state. In the meantime dad was told he was leaving by one of the nurses. Up to now his mind had not been clear and I was afraid he would throw himself out of the bed trying to "escape". At one point he bribed nurses and CNAs to help him escape, but that is another story. He did not have dementia, but he had confusion from the trauma, meds and ICU experience. When I told him he was not going home, he begged me with tears in his eyes to take him home, if he was going to die, he did not want to stay here.

I told him I would talk to the nurse and come back. She was busy, I sat, thought, prayed cried and prayed harder. I sincerely believe my prayers were answered, by the Virgin Mary, because all of the sudden I found strength, I spoke to the nurse and she said sometimes confusion lessens in the home environment. Additionally, knowing CDif is environment related I went against my family and decided he was coming home. I spent the next three days, luckily it was a weekend, prepping the house for the wheelchair, my sister's family helped. I even had a ramp installed. The Medicare HMO sent a hospital bed and a hoist. I had a private nurse who had been keeping him company in the evenings and she agreed to do 7 AM to 7 PM, I moved in to my parents and did 7 PM to 7 AM, myself, so that I could be at work by 9 AM. I slept a little in between CDIF "events" and slept on the couch next to him, later we gave him a bell to summon me.

One night I remember changing him 6 times. This embarrased him, as I had never so much as changed a baby's diaper prior. I explained that if I was soiled, I was sure he would do the same for me. Seemed that when I wasn't changing a diaper, I was cleaning. If you do not clean well you will never get rid of CDIF. Once the antibiotics were done (10 days), I gave them both a little immodium (against doctors orders). CDIF was over, never to return. If the CDIF had not cleared in a couple of weeks, I always had the option to take him to the hospital, at his age they admit you for sneezing. Mom's case was much milder and she is mobile, so I was not as worried about her.

Without the CDIF we were able to get additional help, so I could give up my 'night shift'. I did some sort of night shift duty for about a month. That is the hardest I have ever worked in my life and it did affect my job perfiormance at the time, but I survived, and my boss got over it (good guy, good company). If I had to do it over I would have taken FMLA for 4 weeks, and not paid a nurse.

His mind started clearing almost immediately upon returning home. Four months later he was able to pull himself from the recliner to the wheelchair and to the comode, and back. He and mom decided, she could now help him, as he no longer needed the hoist and could wheel around the house. He still had bathing assistance. The HMO sent medical transport for doctor appointments and mom is clear enough to accompany him, ocassionally I sent the DR notes and he would answer them. I still came by on a daily basis.

A year later he was walking, with the help of a walker.

He lived 3 more years.

Bringing him home was the scariest and the best decision I ever made. HOWEVER I was very fortunate, that although I did a great amount in the beginging, I was NOT 24x7, and I knew I could get help....I always had a plan, and I had the resources for the plan. Also, my crisis did not outlast my resources, all resources are finite, I also needed to ensure I did not deplete resources for mom, she was 13 years younger than he. I would never second guess anyone's decision. I am just sharing my experience.

Frankly, a large part of the reason I was able to accomodate dad's wish to come home was because mom was at home and clear minded. She was not a physically strong person, but she really stepped up and did everything she could. I know I was very blessed. If you are in a similiar situation consider my experience.

If you will be able to care for mom without the CDIF, and you can handle a tough couple of weeks to beat it, then take her home. CDIF is in the environment, the best way to get rid of something in the environment is to go somewhere else.

If she needs NH, aside from the CDIF, then start looking for a new one. If CDIF is regenerating every 10 to 14 days, something is not right in this facility. It happens, but that is WAY too often.

God Bless,
L
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Betterdays123 - NO! don't be honest. Tell her she can come home when she is strong enough or some other vague target. Encourage her to do her best to get better so she can come home. From time to time, express relief at the good care she is getting, and that it might be hard to do that when she gets home. Most likely, she will start to feel safe there, and to enjoy having different people around her.

Honesty is usually, but not always, the best policy.
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We had the delightful experience of a NH discharging Mom with C-Diff! To my care and they did not tell us. They had done the test the day before she came home and did not call us for 2 days. She was so horribly sick within 24 hours that she had to be admitted to the hospital...and that is with me, a full time caregiver and a visiting nurse trying to get enough fluids into her. She was on tube feedings at the time as well. It was a disaster. That c-diff is really really hard to get rid of , it took a long long time and frankly I am still not sure it is really gone as we have had a few break outs in the two years since that happened. My doc told me to be sure to take probiotics every day and since I have a healthy immune system I should be alright. I still take them as I never know when I will be called into service so to speak, even with her in a NH. Use extreme caution when toileting as mentioned above. She initially contracted it while in the hospital after her first stroke.
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That's what I said. Difficult to eradicate.
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I think C-diff is called that because it's short for Clostridium Difficile, the name of the bacteria.

It is difficult to get rid of and runs rampant in NH's and hospitals. Yes, it's contagious but it's not virulent and I've cared for dozens and dozens of patients with C-diff and have never caught it. Staff in a NH have to gown and glove up because they're the ones who carry it from patient to patient. It can land on a shirt cuff that's not covered by a glove, or a collar where the gown doesn't reach, etc. Then that staff member goes into another person's room and 2 days later that patient has it. It's not airborne, you can't contract it by breathing the same air as someone who has it. People who are in a NH or a hospital are vulnerable to it because they're ill or very weak. If you bring your mom home and she has C-diff you should be fine if you observe specific hygeine guidelines. Use gloves when handling any kind of toileting, wash your hands before and after cleaning up any messes and don't let your mom get around other elderly people.

However, if you do bring her home know that C-diff is not just constant diarrhea. The consistency of the stool is extremely tacky and very difficult to clean. You will need special skin washes and peri care supplies as it's hard to wipe off the skin and you don't want to keep wiping at it as your mom's skin is probably very thin. The stool is like tar. And the smell is pervasive. It's a sweet-sick smell that will permeate everything. Any soiled clothes will have to be washed immediately, along with linens, towels, etc. There's a lot of maintenance involved in caring for someone with C-diff.

As time goes on and your mom is on an antibiotic her symptoms should improve. She may not be rid of it yet but it will get better. She may have it for months. She doesn't need to be in the hospital that entire time. She'd probably get better quicker out of the hospital. C-diff isn't the plague, it just needs to be managed.
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C-Difficil is called that because it is difficult to eradicate. What should you do now? If that is your question, you can ask the doctor what he/she thinks. The nursing facility only takes orders from doctors. Keep telling your mother she will come home when her infection clears up, if that is what you intend to do for her. If she keeps getting infections, at her age, she is needing a more sterile environment in which to live.
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Hello
My mom contracted c-diff. The staff must wear protective gowns, gloves and mask. If it were my mom, I would not bring her home untill it's cleared out of her system before you bring her home. It's contagious.
My mom was in skilled nursing after subsequent care from the hospital. she caught c-diff. She was ready to be released to go to continued rehab to a NH ,a few that I was planning to visit were waiting for paper work. One Nh told me they would not admit her if she has C-diff. Find out and do your research before you bring her home. You need to stay healthy. And this thing with her not believing the drs about her condition., what makes you think she's going to believe anything when you get her to your home. Make the best choice for her, but don't forget to take of yourself also. Hope all goes well. Many blessings and good days ahead for you.
Equinox
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Actually, if you type "I'm seeing a lot posted" into the search bar, the thread I'm talking about will come up as the first selection. If you read it and have any questions you can post in that thread and we'll answer.
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I started a thread about C-diff and AlisonBobalison posted about a treatment called "fecal transplant". Type c-diff in search bar on your AgingCare page.
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