should I be going to see mom 4 times a day??? now she expects it, and doesnt even appreciate it anymore!!!!! should I cut down my visits

The more you go, the more you are expected to go. My mom wants someone there 24 hrs now. I feel bad but explain to her that isnt reasonable.
If you say.. "I will be back on Tuesday for 2 hours" or whatever she will complain but you still need to set some boundaries. And you might need to remind her when the visit is almost over, "Mom, we have 30 mins left then I will be going home and will be back on Tuesday: so the visit doesnt go longer than you want and she understands the time limit. Good luck!
Nancy

thanks Nancy, many huggies, and I agree wholey with your advice!!! as all of this is affecting my health, and blood pressure, I cant hardly see, everything is blurry, fibromyagia, and back injury to boot,,,,,,,,,,,,I need to take care of ME, or there wont be anyone around to take care of the rest!

I know how you are feeling. I was a mess in the midst of situation with my mom. It affected my job, health, relationships, etc. My back hurt, my neck was tweeked, I wasnt sleeping well. I have to remember to ask for help and realize I can't fix everything. Breathe and pray! Best to you.. Nancy

Susan fibro is a pain and now have polymylagia also bless you once a day is enough you have to take care of yourself if she wants too live alone it is time to let her fend for herself actually how about every other day.

that sounds good too.......She manipulates me and makes me feel so guilty! But I do have my own problems and life to worry about.......also have panick disorder which she doesnt help any.....also high blood pressure,and on new meds for that, where I can hardly drive because of the side effects!!!! Everything spins, I am dizzy all the time, and tired.....so you are right! and my husband told me the same thing, so did his mom. but I guess they are just to close to me, and I never listen to a thing they say! I seem to always have to hear things from a stranger to wake up and smell the coffee! now she wants to come home, that would put me in the grave! she has NO mobility, diet always changing, going to need a feeding tube soon, I am disabled so is my husband, I guess I got my answer, if I want to end up in the grave, I will continue to run myself ragged!!!! STUPID, I think I finally get it, I am not a doormat,,she doesnt even want to solialize with anyone else......just me and my husband, but If I just leave her be a minute she might start to!!!!!! thanks and many hugs!

4 times a day?
How do you get anything else done? You can't keep that up.
Once a day should be more than enough...Even less.
You have to breathe once in a while.
Don't put such unreasonable demands on yourself.

I know this now!!! mom is using her rare illness to get all kinds of attention that she wants, doesnt need, she needs to realize that I have a life, a husband, and many physical and mental issues, as well, if u read my pro, u will know what I mean,......... I have a hard time with her as I always have tried to get her approval..............and noone else really cares, exept me, I am her only daugher, and all her distant family is concerned about is what they are going to get in the end!!!! money wise, its sad but true, even family in this economy is getting greedy!!! I will cut down my vistits now big time anyway because the new blood pressure meds are taking a toll on me, making my vision blurry so I cant drive, making me tired and a host of other things are happening too!!!!! my husband has diabetes, and has suffered many losses himself!!!! thanks for your response and care

Wow.. I can see it is taking a toll. I really hope you find some kind of support group.. somewhere you can go and vent. Take care of yourself!
Nancy

sounds like the meds ure takin isnt agreeing with you . shall go back and see ur doctor about that .
go see ur mom once a day at diffrent hrs . not the same hrs everyday , those nurses be suprise !
go in with a smile and try to come out with a smile . she starts to argue u or whatever to bring you down , just say oh yes mom i love you !! oops gotta go see u tmr , bye and zoom ! easy simple thing to do .
go to ur dr and tell him how ure feeling while takin those meds . he may change it .
welcome to this site ! .

thanks so much for your feedback, already have another doctors appointment for myself this Tuesday!!! and thats just what I do, show up there at all different times to catch them off guard!!!! it works wonders, they hate me, they run when they see me coming lol, I could care less!!!!
As long as my mom is being taken care of properly I dont say a word, if I see things amiss I put in a written grievance immediaitely...... they know I am not one to play games and they watch everything they do with her now, most of the folks there dont ever get visits, but they get taken atvantage of and neglected, I even go there with my dog and visit them too to cheer them up!!!!!! Its so sad , but doing the next right thing is all I care about! thanks so much for your response!!! huggies